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FSIL marrying a complete tosser...


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#1 Spongie

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Posted 12 March 2007 - 09:06 PM

He's rude and egotistical, he tries to argue about anything and everything, convinced he's smarter/better than everyone - and if he gets a sneaky feeling someone might in fact be smarter than him on a particular topic, he will announce that the particular topic is useless anyway, why would anyone want to be interested in/make their living around that topic anyway. He even called FSIL stupid because she didn't do the same subjects as him when she was in school.

He's racist and homophobic, and I've noticed that while drunk he tends to make lewd comments about FSIL, even to FMIL! I don't know for sure, but it sounds like he's had some trouble keeping jobs - maybe due to his 'slight' lack of interpersonal skills. It just kicks me, knowing how lovely FSIL is, that she'd marry someone so utterly unevolved, who probably doesn't have a clue how lucky he is for someone like FSIL to have him. Okay, so I can't know their situation, and I'm sure she wouldn't put up with it if he didn't make her happy - but argh!

It probably wouldn't bother me (much), if it weren't for the fact that it's poor form to punch family members, even if extended ones...

#2 arohanui

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Posted 12 March 2007 - 09:38 PM

He probably has a low self esteem. People who get off putting others down usually do.
They know well enough there's not much depth in themselves, so they try to get others to see faults of other people to take away the focus off them.


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#3 Aprilbride

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Posted 15 March 2007 - 10:40 AM

I feel for you unfortunatly not a lot you can do - smile and be supportive when needed and just work on not being around him as much as possible. And what we did with a fried that was with a complete tosser, just wait for it all to fall apart and then be there for FSIL.

#4 jet

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Posted 15 March 2007 - 10:49 AM

Oh how terrible. My only advise would be to not take his comments too seriously...unless you feel like arguing that is, but I dont think prooving a point will be an enjoyable one by the sounds of it.
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#5 bonniebride

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Posted 16 March 2007 - 12:43 PM

Wow, you could be writing about my family (almost). Try not to let him bother you too much and be there for FSIL when/if she needs some support.

My step BIL (actually partner of DH's step-sister blink.gif confusing) is racist and homophobic. it used to really irk me (I'm half-Chinese), but somehow I got over it and am having lots of fun waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal my dad was an illegal immigrant (he overstayed his visa) tongue.gif I can't wait!


Clearly she sees something in him, so he can't be a complete tosser. Maybe in a nice way (not: "so why are you marrying that jerk?" rolleyes.gif ) ask what made her decide he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. wub.gif It'll either wake her up that he's not so great, if she can't think of anything, and if she does know why it may help you appreciate F-FBIL?
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#6 Genie

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Posted 16 March 2007 - 02:50 PM

Shrugs. There's probably nothing that is going to change him, and i'm glad that you tolerate him. If it were me in the situation I'm sure there'd be a lot of heated discussions.

As for your FSIL, don't be too sure that she does see something 'wonderful' in him. Sorry to be a sceptic, but if she has been with him for a while maybe it is her with the low self esteem, who may think that she has to marry him, or is afraid of being alone? I only say this because I know someone who has been with her fiancee for 5 years (since 16) and IMO is in a very destructive relationship, yet she will never leave him. She feels that she can't 'live' without him and that she'll never find anyone else.



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