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#1 lena

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 04:45 PM

Just wondering if anyone can help me. My boyfriends mother is a catholics and goes to church evrey week me and my boyfriend go at chrissy but thats about all. Although htere would be no way we would be aloud to get married anywhere else but a catholic church because she is a strong believer. This is fine with me as this is what he grew up with although my only problem is that I am not baptised. His mother says I have to be baptised before we get married? Is this correct? Others have told me it is not correct but was just wondering.

I used to tell my boyfriend that it is fine I will get baptised but not in a catholic church as I have always went to united stripture at school ect. He said his mother would hit the roof if I did that but this is me not her. Although now I don't want to I agree with my mother she never got us baptised because we were never going to atend church so it was a bit hypocritical. I am fine with bringing our children up (when we have them) as catholics but I know it won't be him doing any of it it will be me because it doesn't mean much to him only his mother.

So do I have to be baptised to get married in a catholic church? Sorry this is so long

Lena
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#2 foxwing

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 05:53 PM

your bf will need to supply his church documents and wld be the party who contracts the marriage,

as long as you understand the church wld want yr children raised as catholics most priests won't press you about yr beliefs (though strictly speaking yr bf's mum is right you do need to baptised as a christian to marry without having to obtain a dispensation from the church)

if you are not baptised as a christian the church you will need to obtain a dispensation but many priests will just ignore the issue and marry you in a catholic church to a catholic.

in a mixed marriage the catholic church is really only concerned with the catholic party to it.

this is a link to a papal letter on mixed marriage:

mixed marriage



#3 katya

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 06:07 PM

Firstly, it is wrong of her to pressure you to be baptised. That decision should be made by you and you only.

Secondly, you don't have to be christened as a Catholic to marry your fiance in a Catholic Church so long as he has his Baptismal certificate and Certificate of Confirmation. I know a couple who got married in a Catholic Church, the bride is Catholic and the groom is Hindu and he didn't convert. There is a book for people who are non-Catholic marrying someone who is. I don't know the title but I've seen adds in bridal mags although not lately.

#4 FoxyGirl

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 08:46 PM

My H2B is not catholic, I am, and we are getting married in a catholic church. You don't HAVE to be baptised/christened unless you want to.

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#5 USANatalie

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Posted 17 July 2005 - 02:31 AM

QUOTE (katya @ Jul 16 2005, 01:07 AM)
I know a couple who got married in a Catholic Church, the bride is Catholic and the groom is Hindu and he didn't convert.

Same for us, husband hindu, me catholic. We didn't have to get special dispensation from the church, our priest just asked that Ash agree to having our children raised in/exposed to, the Catholic religion (and two other questions that I can't remember right now). Ash agreed and we got married!

~Nat

#6 lena

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Posted 17 July 2005 - 12:15 PM

Thanx for your help everyone. I am fine with raising our children as catholics. I have attended his church many times and have also had a face to face meeting with priest to ask for a reference for a scholarship and he gave this to me with only one meeting.

I personally don't think his priest will have a huge problem with this and I know James doesn't (he doesn't take his religion seriously I make him go to church at christmas so his mother doesn't get angry at him). I think it is just his mother trying to cause problems with us again. Anyway I am expecting the proposal in the next month or two so we can just go see the priest ourselves and find out. We live in a small town of 3500 and I help with the catholic school and we all kind of know each other.

Thanks again
Lena
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#7 Brenda

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Posted 05 September 2005 - 04:31 PM

My H2B is a Catholic (although never goes to church!) & im a nothing! My H2B's uncle is a catholic priest and he is marrying us.Even though his uncle "hints" to me that I should get bapized if I wanted to, there is no rule that says I have too.I think they like you to raise your children as catholics . We are obviously having a catholic ceremony , but not a full mass(because of the fact that im not catholic).
Good Luck!!!

#8 lena

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 09:45 AM

No you don't have to be baptised to be married in a Catholic Church. This was just the beginning of my not so lovely MIL trying to cause problems. We got married in her Catholic Church for her attended the stupid meets which I had to force her son to attend as he thought it was a load of cr@p and I just kept saying I am doing this for you and your mother so get your bum in there.

Since getting to know the true MIL I will NOT be raising my children as Catholics to please her. DH thinks it is all a load of bullocks and doesn't attend Church at all anymore and I am not getting left to do everything, like attend all the communions etc when I know DH won't even come. I think just like my mother did and if my children decide they won't to be baptised when they are old enough that is fair enough I will support them, but I am not making the decision for them and I am definitely not doing it to please my Monster In Law.
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#9 lena

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 09:45 AM

No you don't have to be baptised to be married in a Catholic Church. This was just the beginning of my not so lovely MIL trying to cause problems. We got married in her Catholic Church for her attended the stupid meets which I had to force her son to attend as he thought it was a load of cr@p and I just kept saying I am doing this for you and your mother so get your bum in there.

Since getting to know the true MIL I will NOT be raising my children as Catholics to please her. DH thinks it is all a load of bullocks and doesn't attend Church at all anymore and I am not getting left to do everything, like attend all the communions etc when I know DH won't even come. I think just like my mother did and if my children decide they won't to be baptised when they are old enough that is fair enough I will support them, but I am not making the decision for them and I am definitely not doing it to please my Monster In Law.
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#10 ~AnA~

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 10:01 AM

Poor Alena.

No only one partner has to be Catholic to be married in the Catholic church. If that's ok with the Pope, then she should just accept it.

Anyhow, old news now huh? smile.gif

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#11 nephthys

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 12:14 PM

She sounds like such a treasure! dry.gif Good on you for standing your ground all these years and for making your faith about you, not her.

It'd be nice if your DH could cleave himself from her, as the good Bible instructs. wink.gif
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