The arrival (and suprise) of Erin
Posted 03 March 2014 - 11:47 PM
When Liam turned 1year old we made the decision to TTC for bub number 2. Its fair to say we had a fairly easy time of TTC the first time around as we fell pg in the 3rd month of trying and I just kind of assumed it would be the same again.... wrong!! After 12months of trying we made the decision to see a FS and see what was happening. My gut feeling was that there was 'something' that was wrong but obviously I had no idea of what. We went through the testing etc which for the record is one of the worst things to have to go through- blood tests, ultrasounds, sperm analysis, anxious waiting. In passing I mentioned to the FS that I was having a lot of ovulation pain over the past 12months and it was slowly increasing.... the FS picked up on it straight away and said it was likely I had endometriosis I remember thinking this was odd at the time as I had always related endometriosis with heavy or painful periods which I have never had. He suggested we give it another 2 months and come back after Christmas if we didn't receive a BFP by then, come back and we would schedule in a Laparoscopy. Sure enough we came back in to see him in January and I was scheduled in for the procedure. I remember being very nervous beforehand.... what if they found something? Or even worse, what if they didn't? I underwent the procedure and woke up in Recovery. I was actually happy to hear that they found 3 spots of endo and removed it at the time, it was a small amount in the scheme of things but definitely enough to affect our chances of TTC. Incidently the FS also mentioned that endometriosis is also the number one reason that he sees couples walking through the door with secondary infertility. Some women have symptoms and others not.
After the Laparoscopy we were told our best chances of conceiving were within the next 3 months. The first cycle after that my cycle was out of whack and ridiculously short to the point where I completely missed O time. The second month I was like a woman possessed and determined that this was it.... this was going to be the month. DH didn't know what had hit him that month After 1.5years of TTC'ing and hanging out in the TTC Cafe's I finally saw those 2 lines on a First Response. I was Easter Sunday
Its fair to say I felt sicker this time around. First trimester I completely lost my appetite (not at all like me) and was eating very boring and bland foods. My sense of smell was in overdrive and although I was not vomiting, the smell of just about everything made me feel sick. I made excuses to leave the office at times to get 5 minutes of fresh air or to grab a cold drink. First pregnancy I had a fairly strong boy vibe and I was right on the money and we were stoked when our gorgeous DS arrived This time around the cravings were completely different..... with DS I craved all things dairy especially yoghurt, I was addicted! this time around I was craving fruit and juices, I even sent DH out on a mission for fresh pineapple and then proceeded to eat the whole thing This time around I had a strong girl vibe and was thinking that maybe it could be a girl because of different cravings and also I was carrying a bit differently this time. At the 19week U/S we told the Sonographer that we didn't want to know the gender as we hadn't found out and wanted a surprise again. The sonographer laughed as apparently the baby had a hand right there anyway and was being secretive so even she couldn't get a good look I was very proud that we had resisted the temptation again to peek. The following week we had an Obs appointment and he did a quick U/S on his small machine in his office. He asked if I wanted to know the gender and I said no (DH was at work that day and not able to make the appointment). I was looking at the screen gazing in wonder at this beautiful little miracle growing inside me and then I saw it..... then money shot, something dangling between the baby's legs. I left that office in such a hurry, rang DH and promptly burst into tears. It was not so much at being upset that I then "knew" it was a boy, but I felt that I had ruined our chance at having a surprise. Gone was my moment of finding out at the birth, that moment of exhaustion and joy that baby was in fact a ____( whatever it turned out to be). By looking at that screen at that exact moment I felt like a child that had just opened my Christmas present early and now I would no longer be surprised DH tried to say to me that it could be anything I had seen, maybe it was the cord etc but I wouldn't hear of it. I then had to have a very serious talk with myself. I had always hoped to be a Mum to both genders (if we had a girl first I would have longed for a boy) but it was just not meant to be. I then spent time visualising being a Mummy to 2 gorgeous little boys
As the pregnancy progressed I started feeling really awful. Light headed, very tired and run down, dizzy and then the anxiety started. OMG what was I thinking in wanting to have another baby? At that stage I was not fit to be a Mother of one let alone two I was so run down and poor DS was just not getting the best of me. I put it down to just being a busy working Mum and just a normal pregnancy thing. I would wake up in the morning feeling anxious, sometimes wake up from a sound sleep with my heart pounding, it was a truly awful feeling. Later on when I had a blood test done it was found I was quite anaemic and my iron levels were through the floor! In hindsight I really think that this was a major contributing factor to my anxiety and I started to pick up when the iron supplements kicked in.
We always knew we were having another big baby... Liam was 4.45kg and we were expecting around the same again. All the U/S and measurements confirmed that yes, baby was big. I spent time before the birth just mentally prepping myself for the birth and visualising being able to deliver in the birth centre. Last time I laboured for 98% of the time in the birth centre but in the end had to walk around to delivery suite for a vacuum delivery due to baby's size. DS was also a very punctual baby who arrived bang on his due date This time around my due date came and went. I was upset but also quite "cross" about it. I really wasn't expecting to be overdue, this wasn't supposed to happen!! I went for walks, tried so hard to keep myself busy and spent time cooking just about everything I could think of. Come on baby!!
The night before I went into labour I remember thinking I needed to get a good nights sleep as I has a big day tomorrow. I woke up at 530 in the morning with a thought of 'Right- today is the day and lets get this show on the road'. I had seen a Lactation Consultant a few weeks prior who told me to start expressing colostrum beforehand to try to kick start my supply and hopefully have a better BF'ing experience this time around. I had been doing some for weeks prior and when I woke up started doing this as nipple stimulation can sometimes help induce labour. I then had a warm shower and just as I was getting out of the shower I coughed slightly and my waters started to break. Hooray!! I rang the Midwife to forewarn her that things might be starting to happen and then I started pacing up and down the driveway to try to get things moving. The walking then brought on contractions and before I knew it things were happening fast. DH was pacing up and down with me and we stopped when contractions built up and did pelvic ricking leaning up against him which really does help! We then told my Mum who was playing with DS that we were heading to the Hospital.
Contractions in the car are the worst and even though we are 5mins from the hospital that trip seemed to take forever. We arrived at the Hospital about 0930-10am. Park right out the front I said to DH!! I can't he said, there are no parks and he drove into the pay car park. I saw a car spot right ahead Park there!! I said. I can't park there he said, its a disabled spot. Yes, Yes, the disabled spot park there! I can't park there he said, I don't have a sticker! I was furious with him for not parking there and for the record I don't make light of people parking in disabled spots I just wanted to get out of the car!!
We walked into the birth centre and straight away I hopped into the shower, ahh that was better. The warm water and the homely environment made me feel a lot better. The Midwives ran a bath for me and I hopped in straight away. Labour the second time around for the most part was better, although initially I felt as though I knew too much somehow as the first time around I had no idea what I was in for really. I found myself analysing at what stage I must be at, how long I had to go, thinking about second stage as opposed to just being in the moment. I also found myself worrying about DS, I knew he was in very good hands but the Mum part of my brain just couldn't switch off and I remember thinking "I hope he does ok at swimming lessons today' with his Grandparents. WTF? I was in labour for Gods sake and here I was thinking about swimming lessons? I made a decision then to switch my brain off and focus on the moment, to focus on each individual part and not the big picture of it. My Midwife later tole me that she sensed a change and saw me become a lot more focused at the point. Amazing how they can tell these things. Occasionally she would say things like "Just relax and allow yourself to sink back into that water" which helped a lot. I felt pressure.... huge pressure.... pressure like I have never felt before and said I feel the urge to push. I pushed with my legs up on the bath and after a while the Midwife suggested I change position, I moved onto all fours in the bath which was actually very comfortable and pushed like nothing else. Nothings happening I said. The Midwife suggested to me to insert a finger inside and reach up and see if I could feel something hard.... yes I can I said. That's your baby's head she said to me. Wow, that was my baby and I was so close to meeting them, I had to make this happen.
I had a long second stage labour, 2 hours or more in total. Lots of pushing in all positions- in the bath, lying back, on all fours, out of the bath, on the toilet (surprisingly comfortable) on the birthing stool and finally as a last resort on the bed. All this time I could feel huge pressure, constant pressure from the head pressing down. I remember reading in Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book she uses the analogy of a coffee plunger pushing down so I tried to visualise this through the pushing and found it really did help. The Midwife kept a close eye on baby's heart rate all the time and checked that everything was OK, our obstetrician was there too and was equally supportive of our goal. I really believe that any other Obstetrician would have intervened early and made us go to delivery suite for some sort of intervention but as he was keeping a close eye on both baby and I and knew we were both safe, he assessed it as safe to keep going. I knew it was getting close to that point though and I thought to myself Oh no, we're going down that path again aren't we... we're going to need the vacuum. I kept pushing like there was no tomorrow and then, it happened. The head which felt as though it had been 'stuck; for all this time budged. Keep pushing, PUSH. The obstetrician would then count to ten and tell me to keep it going, keep it going, long pushes he said. I was exhausted. Is anything happening??? I said. I was exhausted. I can see the head, its almost out! You give me one more big push he said and the head will be out. At that point I was lying on the bed and I say upright as much as I could and looked him in the eye.... Do you PROMISE?? I asked?! He laughed. Yes, he said I promise. One more big push like that and the head will be out. Sure enough I pushed and out it came.... Hallelujah!! Another push and out came the body and then, the most beautiful sound in the world, my babies cry The lifted the baby out and I held the baby on my chest. Honestly at that stage the baby's gender was the furthest thing from my mind. I don't think I would care if I had just had a litter of puppies I was so relieved. My baby was here and I was so in love After a while the Midwife said "Gee... he looks different to his brother doesn't he?" I looked at the face and somehow knew that wasn't right And the Obsetrician had a bit of a chuckle.... "He??" I peeked down and opened between the baby's legs. It's a GIRL I said and then cried and laughed at the same time with happiness.
Erin Grace was born 12.12.13 at 153pm
4.68kg, 54cm long and HC of 36cm... OK, that maybe explains a bit about all that pushing!
I feel like the luckiest person alive with my 2 beautiful children and will never forget that moment of the birth, the team work from everyone there supporting us in our goal to deliver in the birth centre, the surprise of finding out at the delivery (both times) and the moment where DS came to see us an hour or so after she was born and walked in like a proud big brother! Months of preparation and he was very excited to meet his new sister before he asked............. "Who is that baby's Mummy??"
If you read all of that well done to you for reading through all of that and thanks for listening. My TTC #2 journey was a long one that I shared with a lot of our lovely I-do'ers so it was important to me to get the opportunity to share our birth story too, better late than never
Posted 04 March 2014 - 03:52 PM
After our first labours and births were so similar we both got a much better experience second time around! ..... and go you for pushing out such a big bub. Lovely story
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Posted 04 March 2014 - 04:17 PM
Aww, congratulations! What a wonderful surprise in the end
Loved the way you told your story - it was as if you were telling me face-to-face!
Posted 04 March 2014 - 04:36 PM
Loved the way you told your story - it was as if you were telling me face-to-face!
I agree with ACL, thank you for sharing your amazing story - little (big!) Erin is so lucky to come into a family where she is so clearly wanted and loved
Posted 04 March 2014 - 09:29 PM
Posted 05 March 2014 - 07:38 PM
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Posted 06 March 2014 - 08:57 AM
And I thought pushing out a 4.15kg baby was hard work. You've done bigger than that twice now.
But congratulations to you and the family on baby Erin's arrival.
Posted 07 March 2014 - 02:39 AM
And reminded me I haven't written mine up yet oops... a bit late there.
I hope it's all going wonderfully well with your two littlies. I hadn't known you were thinking you had a boy on board!
Posted 07 March 2014 - 12:48 PM
This is such a lovely story!
I'll never look at coffee plungers the same again
Posted 27 June 2014 - 09:15 PM
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