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my son is increasingly scared at night time


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#1 loveActually

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 06:20 AM

hi girls,

its seems that lately my son is getting more scared of the dark. even with a night lite he will still wake in middle of the night to come sleep with me. he will normally wake up 2 times a nite. i normally let him sleep with me because im so tired, then i will wake up and put him in his own room.

he did mention the word skeletons during the day a few times...

is anyone else going thru this? he turns 4 in may

#2 Avery

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 07:25 AM

I dont have a alot of time but I wanted to pop in here and say that DD has just come out of a stage like this ... it was really disruptive to her sleep and in the end became quite a worry for me. She turns 4 in march.

With DD she refused to even go to sleep in her room or needed me with her until she fell asleep, and then would wake several times overnight wanting to come into our bed. With DD it was a fear of being alone, bad dreams and bats. She always wanted her lamp left on.

All this started about a month after my pop passed away (whom she was very close too). What seemed to work sometimes was Id give her something of mine to hold for me overnight and Id tell her that it was ver special and Id need it back in the morning - so she knew that Id be there when she woke. Usually it was a piece of costume jewellery or a keyring etc.

At Christmas time my sister brought her a beautiful dreamcatcher and made a big song and dance about how wonderful they were, what people believed they did, and so far we havent had too many bad nights since.

Are you sure its the dark? or something else bothering him? Maybe shop together for a nightlight, or a special torch he could keep under his pillow?
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#3 Mel B

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:16 AM

Is he being exposed to anything that might make him scared? Tv, movies, games? Does he go to daycare or preschol? You might want to ask his teachers what kinds of games he and his friends are playing. DS had a preschool friend with 4 older brothers who liked to suggest games about zombie aliens and the like. Mind you, DS could have a nightmare about his sister eating his popcorn wacko.gif

It does seem to be particularly intense around the 3-4 age range. I'd suggest a torch in bed as well.

Good luck I hope it's a stage that passes quickly.
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#4 Daybreak

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 10:14 AM

A couple of our nieces have gone through this at about the same age. In their cases it is/was monsters. For the elder niece, Andrew and I made 'monster spray' (lavender essential oil and water in a spray bottle) and a wand so she could make the monster go away if she saw it. For her younger sister, who is currently at that stage, they've put a sign on the front door saying monsters are not welcome. Seems to work.
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#5 loveActually

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 05:37 AM

yes it could be monsters. I also recall him saying he will have bad dreams if he goes to bed alone.

he has a bigger cousin who I heard talk about monsters once.

Those ideas are quite good... proactively giving him tools to have trust that he will be protected!

Ill try that tonight smile.gif wish me luck! smile.gif

#6 ~steph~

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:30 AM

H had issues with dinosaurs around the same age.

I think it was Daybreak I got the idea from, I made up a batch of 'go away dinosaur' spray and together we sprayed it around the room each night. This seemed to really help him for quite a while, then that apparently started not working so well, so I offered him my pillow as I didn't have issues with dinosaurs and they would know to keep away if they could smell me. This got us through the worst of it and by then he was just happy with a night light.

The first batch of dinosaur spray had a little lavender in it, the second batch had just water.
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#7 nephthys

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 01:09 PM

LA, I can't believe your DS is nearly four! ohmy.gif

Yes, this is age appropriate behaviour although I was also thinking, is he still living 50/50 between you and his dad? If so, there might be something happening over there or perhaps the moving around is disturbing him in some way? That'd also explain why he likes to be in your bed as it's comforting.
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#8 loveActually

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:20 PM

QUOTE(nephthys @ Jan 30 2013, 02:09 PM) View Post

LA, I can't believe your DS is nearly four! ohmy.gif

Yes, this is age appropriate behaviour although I was also thinking, is he still living 50/50 between you and his dad? If so, there might be something happening over there or perhaps the moving around is disturbing him in some way? That'd also explain why he likes to be in your bed as it's comforting.


Hi Nephthys smile.gif hehe yes already 4 in May! smile.gif still 50/50 at the moment. I know his dad and him share the same room because i asked him theother day and he told me that he no longer has a room and that his uncle now sleeps in his room. He said he has a pull out bed over there sleep.gif

I took a picture of Mary holding lil Jesus into his room and told him that she is a protector of all children. I asked him again tonight what is it he is scared of he said having a bad dream. After I talked to him about Mary he seemed to be better and hasnt woken up yet (by now he would have usually)

hopefully this lasts the rest of the night! Thanks for all those helpful suggestions smile.gif

#9 loveActually

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:12 AM

success!!

#10 Daybreak

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:58 PM

Hooray! Glad to hear it worked! Hope you continue to have good nights from now
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Married ~ April 13, 2011
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When I am grown up I will understand how beautiful it feels to administrate my life effectively.
Until then I will continue to torch all correspondence that bores me and to dance naked over the remnants of its still glowing embers.
~ Edward Monkton


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#11 nephthys

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:29 PM

That's great! Am glad it worked. biggrin.gif

It doesn't sound ideal with his father but there could be worse things than him sharing a room. I hope the arrangement is going okay.

xx


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