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People were't kidding about the Trying Threes, were they?


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#16 Gretch

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 07:45 PM

QUOTE(flowerrose @ Oct 1 2012, 06:25 PM) View Post

I'm not sure if this is helpful Nepth but apparently the ability to lie before four is a sign of being really quite clever. The theory is that at that age they can't see past themselves so have no concept of an alternative reality where lies become possible.

Awesome! I have a two year old liar so I will try to remind myself he's a genius everytime he tells a whopper. tongue.gif It's an interesting theory though; hope it proves correct.

I'm glad that I'm not alone with my nearly threenager. Most common phrases here at the moment include 'No I not' (grammatically incorrect and defiant) and 'That's not right'. rolleyes.gif

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#17 flowerrose

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Posted 01 October 2012 - 08:21 PM

Gretch, count yourself lucky. My threenager just tries gobbing on me every time he doesn't want to do something or gets told off. Fortunately he's crap at it and just ends up with dribble down the chin but it's a great look and gives him a lovely tourrete's-like quality in his interactions!

#18 nephthys

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 06:33 AM

QUOTE(flowerrose @ Oct 1 2012, 06:25 PM) View Post

I'm not sure if this is helpful Nepth but apparently the ability to lie before four is a sign of being really quite clever. The theory is that at that age they can't see past themselves so have no concept of an alternative reality where lies become possible.

Well, I suppose it's a good and bad thing then! He usually lies about finishing his meals (for which every one is a fight) or about hurting his brother.

I was thinking about why this age might be so horrid: from 3 yrs old you start having permanent memories so it's almost like you "wake up". Maybe it's the age when people start to understand what's going on around them and it's like a sensory overload of new experiences and awareness? So we explore and start to test this awareness? It's almost like Mr 3 has really started to know what people are saying around him. Anyway, it's just thoughts I was having when scraping paint off walls so it's probably way off. tongue.gif
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#19 squeaza

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 07:54 AM

Hugs to everyone sad.gif

We're just entering terrible twos, which aren't yet what is being described, thankfully.

I've got Pinky McKay's book Toddler Tactics, and we went to a talk at our local council by her which I found really really interesting. The book focuses on why they behave as they do rather than necessarily how to stop the behaviour, and I've found it really useful just to work out what mental steps they're going through that trigger such reactions.
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#20 Camilla

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 08:36 AM

We have sooo much attitude I end up just rolling my eyes and walking away. "No touch, Mummy", "Stop it, Mummy", "Silly Mummy", and even more fun is when the wind closes the door or something happens, "Jooooosh, NO TOUCH the door, Stop It"! She is permanently cranky and does grabs, hits, pinches. She doesn't understand that she can hurt so when she thwacks her brother over the head with a wooden tray, she just doesn't see that she caused him to cry.

EVERY time she has a drink (water, milk, juice) she will find a way to tip it on the carpet/tip it from container to container/spill it on the couch. She just doesn't listen to no and keeps doing the things she knows she doesn't.

The other day she decided to draw on the wall in front of me. She was so proud of herself "triangle, mummy". Even making her clean it up doesn't help.

My brother has often told me it is terrible twos, trying threes and f#$%ing fours!
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#21 chelley

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 02:30 PM

Threenagers are full on. Tantrums were never the issue here just the heinous back chatting.
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#22 truffles

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE(squeaza @ Oct 2 2012, 07:54 AM) View Post

Hugs to everyone sad.gif

We're just entering terrible twos, which aren't yet what is being described, thankfully.

I've got Pinky McKay's book Toddler Tactics, and we went to a talk at our local council by her which I found really really interesting. The book focuses on why they behave as they do rather than necessarily how to stop the behaviour, and I've found it really useful just to work out what mental steps they're going through that trigger such reactions.


Thanks for the recomendations Squeaza! Yes, fun times to look forward to now that we have stepped into the terrible twos! tongue.gif Think I will look into getting that book and start planning ahead for what is to come wink.gif

We have had a few small tanties, mostly if I want to change DS/ change nappy etc and he wants to do something else. We get a tantrum and he calls out "NO.... stay, stay!!" laugh.gif Which is kind of funny for some reason, I wonder where they pick up some of the new words they come out with!
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#23 Thelma

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 03:46 PM

Yeah, we're a month off 3 and I've noticed a change in her behaviour lately. No tantrums, but just not wanting to cooperate. See my recent topic titled "No, No, No"! Although after reading what some of the other kids on here get up to I'm either really thankful that she's relatively good or really scared at what might be to come!

Truffles, I also get told "no! Stay there!" when she doesn't want me to interfere or make her do something she doesn't want to do dry.gif

#24 flowerrose

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 05:17 PM

QUOTE(squeaza @ Oct 2 2012, 05:54 AM) View Post

Hugs to everyone sad.gif

We're just entering terrible twos, which aren't yet what is being described, thankfully.

I've got Pinky McKay's book Toddler Tactics, and we went to a talk at our local council by her which I found really really interesting. The book focuses on why they behave as they do rather than necessarily how to stop the behaviour, and I've found it really useful just to work out what mental steps they're going through that trigger such reactions.


Oh we breezed through the terrible twos! For some reason the level of defiance at three is quite breathtaking, partly because they are much strong/more agile, but also because they can be reasoned with sometimes and seem to know how to push just the right buttons!

Today I put Ethan in his room for squeezing yoghurt all over his sister's bed and then at me when I tried putting him back at the table. He took his pants off, climbed to stand on his bed-head and squeezed out a quite deliberate wee. I went in to do the debrief a few moments later to a sullen look and and "Me wee wee on there" (Oh sure, when it's really required, like he needs to be clear in his FU stance, he can talk!)

I understand the motivation and exploration that's going on, I can also clearly see how jiggered he is in the afternoon. But it doesn't help me when I'm out, trying to carry him to stop him racing off being repeatedly punched or him pulling out fistfuls of my hair while onlookers gasp and tut.
He is not an aggressive boy generally but, if he loses it, he loses it! (He hasn't done that in a while - maybe two weeks now).

Life has to go on and I have yet to find a way of unloading the dishwasher without knowing that elsewhere my house is being 'decorated'.

I am a empathetic, consistent parent who doesn't brook any crap. But I have no idea what to do about this - other than prey it's just a phase!

#25 **** Sarah and Adam ****

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 10:47 PM

Terrible twos
Trying threes
F***ing fours
Something worse than fours fives. lol. I'm hoping six will get better not worse!

#26 flowerrose

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:09 PM

Five: 'Arrrrgh! ARRRGH! ARRRRRRGH! [screaming as if in mortal peril] MUMMEEEEEE! Sob, sob'
Me: [Out of breath have raced through house expecting flowing blood, broken limb, or at least a splinter] 'what, what happened?'
Five: He touched my cushion.

ETA: Heather, me too. I think that's where full-time school comes in.

#27 squeaza

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Posted 02 October 2012 - 11:50 PM

Feral Fives?

Oh, and Eddie isn't really talking at all (well, not in English), and I'm astounded by how much attitude he can show in gestures and noises. Mostly at the moment it's quite sweet or funny but being ordered off the piano stool and over to the other side of the room when you're trying to practise is getting a bit tiring wacko.gif

We had an almighty meltdown because I took too long to take his milk out of the microwave and give him to it last week blink.gif throwing himself around and sobbing into our microsuede sofa. After which he went and got a cloth and ordered me to clean up his puddle of tears wacko.gif

At least I can wilfully misunderstand the requests because they're not in words yet. Once he's speaking I won't be able to ignore it unsure.gif
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#28 bluenomi

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 08:44 AM

QUOTE(squeaza @ Oct 2 2012, 11:50 PM) View Post

At least I can wilfully misunderstand the requests because they're not in words yet. Once he's speaking I won't be able to ignore it unsure.gif


That's one disadvantage of having a good talker, she's been able to clearly argue and demand since 18 months wacko.gif The older she gets, the more words she learn and the better she is at it! The other day she pulled a stack of DH's shoes out of the wardrobe and was coming with me to finally get dressed. She told DH to put them away and when he asked why she couldn't do it, she declared "because I'm going with mummy!" and stamped her foot!

I'm so not looking forward to 3, she's willful enough at 2 mellow.gif
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#29 em2007

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 08:49 AM

QUOTE(flowerrose @ Oct 2 2012, 11:09 PM) View Post

Five: 'Arrrrgh! ARRRGH! ARRRRRRGH! [screaming as if in mortal peril] MUMMEEEEEE! Sob, sob'
Me: [Out of breath have raced through house expecting flowing blood, broken limb, or at least a splinter] 'what, what happened?'
Five: He touched my cushion.

ETA: Heather, me too. I think that's where full-time school comes in.



That sounds familiar too... although tends to sum up four for us. Wonder what five will bring?

#30 Mel B

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 10:19 AM

QUOTE(flowerrose @ Oct 2 2012, 11:09 PM) View Post

Five: 'Arrrrgh! ARRRGH! ARRRRRRGH! [screaming as if in mortal peril] MUMMEEEEEE! Sob, sob'
Me: [Out of breath have raced through house expecting flowing blood, broken limb, or at least a splinter] 'what, what happened?'
Five: He touched my cushion.


This is a familiar scenario in our house too but has spanned the 4-6 range.

First year of school is the Jekyll and Hyde year. The child that obeys unquestioningly every rule and is helpful and delightful with their teacher crosses the threshold of their own home at 3.30 every day and immediately turns into a whiny, demanding, back chatting, sobbing brat. wacko.gif
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