QUOTE(squeaza @ Oct 2 2012, 05:54 AM)
Hugs to everyone
We're just entering terrible twos, which aren't yet what is being described, thankfully.
I've got Pinky McKay's book Toddler Tactics, and we went to a talk at our local council by her which I found really really interesting. The book focuses on why they behave as they do rather than necessarily how to stop the behaviour, and I've found it really useful just to work out what mental steps they're going through that trigger such reactions.
Oh we breezed through the terrible twos! For some reason the level of defiance at three is quite breathtaking, partly because they are much strong/more agile, but also because they can be reasoned with sometimes and seem to know how to push just the right buttons!
Today I put Ethan in his room for squeezing yoghurt all over his sister's bed and then at me when I tried putting him back at the table. He took his pants off, climbed to stand on his bed-head and squeezed out a quite deliberate wee. I went in to do the debrief a few moments later to a sullen look and and "Me wee wee on there" (Oh sure, when it's really required, like he needs to be clear in his FU stance, he can talk!)
I understand the motivation and exploration that's going on, I can also clearly see how jiggered he is in the afternoon. But it doesn't help me when I'm out, trying to carry him to stop him racing off being repeatedly punched or him pulling out fistfuls of my hair while onlookers gasp and tut.
He is not an aggressive boy generally but, if he loses it, he loses it! (He hasn't done that in a while - maybe two weeks now).
Life has to go on and I have yet to find a way of unloading the dishwasher without knowing that elsewhere my house is being 'decorated'.
I am a empathetic, consistent parent who doesn't brook any crap. But I have no idea what to do about this - other than prey it's just a phase!