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Rings from divorced family members


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#1 stars87

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:21 PM

My attempt at a forum topic hehe.

DH and I have nearly been married ten years but when we were getting engaged there was some talk from his mum as to whether to pass on her engagement ring to me. It was a lovely thought that never eventuated however I was secretly happy it didn't happen for a few reasons.DH's parents are divorced and have been since he was about 5 years old, so I felt a little weird about the thought of having her engagement ring from a marriage that didn't work out ph34r.gif I also did feel a little that I would (hopefully!) only get one chance at having an engagement ring of my own so kind of wanted a new one I guess. Of course I kept mum on the whole thing at the time and it never happened so wasn't an issue.

I have just been thinking about it again though as my MIL has just given me her eternity ring for my birthday this year. For some reason I saw it really differently this time and was thrilled with it. It is a lovely ring and I am going to get it polished and checked so I can wear it. Dh's Dad gave it to his mum after he was born. I think my thoughts on this one are different as it is an eternity ring and she has passed it on now we have three kids which is lovely. Plus now we have kids I figure I am only holding onto it until I pass it onto them.

What would you do or think in the above situations though? Would you accept an engagement/wedding/eternity ring from a broken marriage? Would you just see it as a family heirloom or would you feel a little like it might be bad luck? Would you be happy with it as a substitute for an engagement/wedding/eternity ring of your own?
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#2 Magnolia

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Posted 30 July 2012 - 11:30 PM

I agree with you re the engagement ring. I would feel uncomfortable accepting an engagment ring if it came from a broken marriage. It's like it would hold some bad mojo. But I think the eternity ring situation as you described is fine. It's actually quite nice, because it was purchased after your DH's birth so it's an extra connection you have to him.

#3 aChocLover

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 08:29 AM


Interesting ... now that you've pointed it out, I personally wouldn't want a hand me down engagement ring from a broken marriage either. However, I have offered up my old engagement ring to my brother, should he wish to give it to his girlfriend .. bury it in the dirt, remove the bad karma etc ... whatever ... Hypocrisy, much wink.gif

I personally would tie the eternity ring to the birth of your DH, so would be a willing recipient of it biggrin.gif as a dress ring, not as a replacement eternity ring rolleyes.gif I would also consider it as an heirloom and ensure that it is passed on with its story.



#4 Guest_Windsor_Guest

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 12:23 PM

My engagement ring was my grandmothers and while I don't think she and my grandfather ever divorced their marriage was definitely over a loooong time ago.

But the ring was mine already and given to me as a 21st present, my sister was given her eternity ring for her 18th that same year. By that point the rings were over 50yrs old and had been given to my mother after she and dad got married and they're still together so I guess any bad mojo wore off a while ago!

#5 Porthos

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 12:45 PM

I would definitely NOT want an engagement ring from a broken marriage. If DH had have offered me his mother's engagement ring I would have ben horrified because, even though his folks are still together, they openly loathe each other and live completely separate lives. Bad karma tied up in a ring? No thanks.

I love the idea of passing on an eternity ring though, especially consiering it was gifted to your MIL upon the birth of your DH. That's a lovely sentiment and it will be a beautiful piece of family jewllery to hand down to your own kids.



#6 Daybreak

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Posted 31 July 2012 - 07:22 PM

I wouldn't knowingly want an engagement ring from a divorce, but my engagement ring is an antique, and I've got no idea of its history.

On my right hand, I wear my great grandmother's eternity, and she was divorced, but I guess I see it differently as it's not a symbol of my own relationship, it's part of my family history (I've had it since I was about 16) I wear it with my great great aunt's wedding ring, and she did have a long happy marriage.
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#7 flowerrose

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 08:50 PM

I'm a bit of a mercenary and it would depend entirely what the engagement ring was like. But I do totally understand your reasoning.

The eternity ring symbolises something altogether different; bubba DH and his children, the next generation - and is a beautiful indication of how well you have all grown together as a family.

#8 Leapstar

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 08:56 PM

Not as an engagement ring!!

Maybe as a dress ring, otherwise melted down and turned into another piece of jewellery.

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#9 em2007

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Posted 01 August 2012 - 09:03 PM

QUOTE(flowerrose @ Aug 1 2012, 08:50 PM) View Post

I'm a bit of a mercenary and it would depend entirely what the engagement ring was like. But I do totally understand your reasoning.

The eternity ring symbolises something altogether different; bubba DH and his children, the next generation - and is a beautiful indication of how well you have all grown together as a family.



Hmmm, yes I think I'd be swayed by an impressive piece of jewellery. But, maybe only as a dress ring rather than as an engagement ring.

#10 Gem11

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 07:40 PM

I know this conversation is a couple of days old but I wanted to add that I have my grandmothers engagement ring as a dress ring and I see it as important because even though their marriage lasted all of 5 years, it was the bearer of 2 children (one being my dad) and had it never happened I wouldn't be here!! So not bad mojo... more like being thankful for the happy fate of my father's birth!

#11 stars87

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 07:48 PM

Yeah I think I feel different about the eternity ring because we are a lot further along in our time together now than when the engagement ring was offered and I see it as a symbol of DH and the family now? Bloody nice ring too ph34r.gif

Although hubby has been put on notice that our 10th wedding anniversary is coming up and an eternity ring would be a nice symbol of that - and may have also mentioned to him on the quiet it doesn't negate an eternity ring of my own haha
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#12 SmittenKitten

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 08:37 PM

No No and No!

I wouldn't even use diamonds for anyone else's ring....I used some diamonds from a old ring of my mums and my grandmothers, for my engagement ring.

Everytime i wear it something bad happens. I am so petrified someone else bad will happen I don't wear it anymore! I don't know what happened to mum or gran when they wore it but I am suspecting it was bad juju then as well!

It my bad JUJU ring! laugh.gif


Now I just have to save up to buy myself a NEW ring!
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#13 Maxi

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Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:09 PM

When Prince William gave Kate his mother's ring I thought at the time about how I would feel and I'd prefer my own, a symbol of starting our new life together.
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