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The worst wedding you've attended...

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#1 Puggie


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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:48 PM

Weddings can suck for all sorts of reasons! Double booked churches. Food poisoning at the reception. Families having biffos after a few beers. A serious wardrobe malfunction leaving the bride a little 'overexposed'. A really boring reception. A 3 hour+ wait between the ceremony and the reception all while stuck an hour away from home. Being seated next to your ex's parents (with your new partner).

This is meant to be lighthearted - but I'd love to hear your 'worst wedding ever' story! Keep it friendly, funny and anonymous, please smile.gif

#2 Magnolia


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Posted 24 July 2012 - 08:25 PM

I haven't been to any "bad" weddings, but some things didn't go too smoothly at a close friend's wedding.

Her MOH got food poisoning and missed the whole reception because she was lying in a car trying not to throw up sad.gif .

Some mutual friends came late to the reception, just after the bridal party had made their entrance and the whole reception saw them. They had gone home to have a few drinks after the ceremony. rolleyes.gif

There were way too many speeches, about 4 or 5, and they all told exactly the SAME story. Then a drunken BIL treated his toast as a rehersal for a stand up gig. While it was really funny, the story was inappropriate for a wedding.

The same friends who turned up late, also got into a fight and didn't speak to one another all night which made dinner awkward. They eventually left early.

DH and I just tossed back the wine, mingled with the relatives and tried to be good guests. Hopefully the bride and groom didn't notice too much of the drama.

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 08:43 PM

The wedding itself wasn't 'bad' but we went to one in Adelaide when Cait was just over 1yo and the ceremony was outside in the botanic gardens during one of those ridiculously stinking hot heatwaves. So a looooooooong walk over gravel and grass in heels, not many chairs and temps of about 43 degrees. I really felt for the bride in her big dress!

DH doesn't handle the heat well and got to stay back at the hotel with Cait during the ceremony as we just thought it was really too hot for her to be out and about especially after missing a nap. So they spent the afternoon in the aircon and in the pool!

The reception was at the hotel though and with me, DH, my sis and my parents doing 15 min rotations babysitting after Cait went to bed, we actually got to enjoy quite a bit of it!

#4 BubbleBee1


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Posted 24 July 2012 - 10:33 PM

Ive only been to my wedding, other than that my nans 4th wedding and my mums 2nd wedding (when I was little).. we dont really have many friends..

Our wedding, nothing went right, so other than marrying DH, it was the worst in my opinion..

Photographer was an hr late, then got lost for 30mins on the 8min drive from my house to the wedding location and left 1hr early (had 6hrs total, but only like 3.5hrs total) and the photos werent that good.. and a few other major things went wrong, but ah well..

#5 squeaza


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Posted 24 July 2012 - 11:34 PM

I've got a few....

I've played at hundreds of weddings, some of them pretty dire, but I've wiped them from my mind and it's years since I've done that now. One stuck in my mind though - it was one of my father's graduate students, and it was at a very happy clappy evangelical church. The groom had written a number of rock hymns, and arranged others, and to be honest that style of music never sounds good played by a string quartet at the best of times, but these were tuneless and frankly awful.

The priest played the guitar, and wore a shot-silk pink/purple blazer, and sang half the ceremony, and his wife sang as well - she looked like Dolly Parton biggrin.gif

The next less-than ideal wedding was my cousin's stepdaughters wedding. It was at Camelot - an ok reception place way out East of Melbourne, complete with turrets and we received invitations to Lord and Lady Joe Bloggs, with 'ye's and 'thou's everywhere. The bride was pregnant with her second, and all befrilled and primped up. Her bridesmaids wore dresses of a nice style, but awful colours (fuschia satin with a big opening in the front with lime green in them), and the style suited one of them, but looked terrible on the other two sad.gif

The groom and groomsmen were all two sheets to the wind (they were all only 18 or 19) and so the speeches were cringe-worthy, but hilarious at the same time, especially when the groomsman pulled the chair out from underneath the completely pissed best man when he sat down after his speech wacko.gif biggrin.gif The highlight of the day (no, really!) was a 'court jester' who was hired to entertain guests before and throughout the reception. He was actually hilarious, but quite a bawdy sense of humour and a lot of it very funny but entirely inappropriate (and thankfully probably over the head of) the younger guests there (i.e. kids). He made me a balloon dog, and then showed me in a stage whisper that you could tell it was a boy because he'd given it a nice set of bollocks biggrin.gif laugh.gif

The last was a wedding of two lovely and normally very tasteful people. We're all still mystified as to how they ended up at this certain reception place (somewhere Sydney north shore), unless it was just what was available when they wanted to have the wedding. The ceremony was lovely, but the whole reception was pompous and smug and so cheesy. Every female guests was personally escorted to her chair on the arm of one of the smarmy waiters; the food was awful... I'm normally pretty hungry and forgiving of mass-catered food, but this was terrible, and then before the cutting of the cake there was this whole dedication to the bride and groom that involved dimmed lights and mirror balls and stacks of champagne glasses filled with dry ice and the Master of Ceremonies (provided by the reception place) sang this unbearably tacky Neopolitan Love Song, badly, and way over-amplified, given it was a small venue. There were a few babies there, and we had to rush them out of the room and cover their ears because they all started screaming when he started up wacko.gif biggrin.gif

This one in particular has given us all a lot to reminisce over in the last 3 years - it was so not typical of either of the happy couple, but at least made their wedding memorable biggrin.gif
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#6 jantastic


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 08:28 AM

The worst wedding I ever went to was a budget wedding which came across as more budget than it actually was (which was a shame). The bride's dress was not supportive, it was a satiny slip style material, and she was a bit larger and wore no undergarments - you could tell... Both the bride and the groom were from really introverted families, and neither family agreed with the union laugh.gif The reception had no speeches, no tables, no seats, everyone just stood around at an RSL while some canopes were directed at the grooms family (and the rest of us starved). It was BYO drinks (which is fine), but it was so difficult to get any service. We all stood around looking at each other in awkward near-silence. It was an afternoon affair, and we just didn't know when it was appropriate to leave! (especially as there was no structure to the day at all).

The photographer was TERRIBLE - she ducked down to take every single photo, so ALL the photos had people with double chins.

It was memorable!

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#7 Porthos


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 08:32 AM

I had a good giggle out of a few of those Squeaza!! laugh.gif

I have two 'bad' weddings to add to the mix.

First one was four and half years ago at a local golf club but a really scummy one. The ceremony was on a green (fine) and the reception was in the club rooms which looked like footy locker rooms circa 1970. Brown vinyl chairs, brown carpet, brown panelling on the walls etc. they had decorated the place with chunks of tulle everywhere and glow in the dark love hearts which were stuck to every available surface. The food was questionablE BUT there was great company, the grog flowed freely and we ended up having quite a few laughs. Unfortunately the bride and groom recently spilt sad.gif

Second one was this year. The bride and groom were young (23) and the ceremony and reception were both at lovely venues, both dressed beautifully, all looking good on the surface. But there was ZERO atmosphere at both the ceremony and the reception. No feeling. I went with the bride and groom during their photo shoot and even then, it was like pulling teeth, just completely flat. The food was delicious but I wasn't drinking due to pregnancy (could have been why I was saying no atmosphere but others who were drinking said the same). As the reception progressed it ended up being very loud doof doof music with about ten young people on the dance floor and everyone else sitting outside on the concrete path just to escape. At 9pm I looked at my watch and could not believe we still had three hours to go!! By the time the bride and groom left the bride's cousin had tried to punch on with with about six different people and there were only about thirty guests out of eighty left.

So one wedding was beyond tacky but still had a reasonably good atmosphere and the other wedding was classy enough but with zero atmosphere it was so freaking boring. I would have to say the classy but boring wedding was the worst.

#8 aChocLover


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 10:08 AM

I haven't really attended many weddings at all. But the worst would have been the first one I ever attended as an adult. It wasn't just the wedding itself though, it was the lead up to and after as well!

My girlf from school (who I hadn't seen at the time for ~3 years) was getting married to my ex boyf and turned up at my work and asked me to be her bridesmaid blink.gif The wedding itself was ok, bar the screaming nieces and nephews throughout the ceremony sad.gif and a photographer who was adamant he needed cleavage shots blink.gif but the reception itself was pretty tacky and zapped of any energy (it felt like a 'rent-a-crowd' where nobody knew anyone else) and the groom was hell bent on reliving his former relationships' glory-days ohmy.gif

Needless to say, when the newlyweds called to show me their photos and the groom banged on about my cleavage, I lost contact with my girlf. I just couldn't be around them him. It gave me the heeby-jeebies.

#9 nephthys


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 10:09 AM

I've been to heaps of weddings as I come from a large family and there were certainly plenty of cringe worthy moments, but none were 'the worst', as such.

I had so many things go wrong in the lead-up of mine that it's certainly memorable, but the day went well, considering. My MOH was a pain in the arse and I do regret asking her to be in the bridal party.

The most recent wedding I went to, the groom's family have a serious agenda on him (for reasons unknown) and because they changed the date, the family objected and did not show. Not a single one. The poor groom was in a room full of the bride's family and friends and he had a close friend as his best man and that was it. It was a lovely wedding yet it had this feeling of sadness over it as well. A month on and the groom's family still haven't spoken to him. sad.gif
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#10 Magnolia


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 10:31 AM

QUOTE(nephthys @ Jul 25 2012, 10:39 AM) View Post

The most recent wedding I went to, the groom's family have a serious agenda on him (for reasons unknown) and because they changed the date, the family objected and did not show. Not a single one. The poor groom was in a room full of the bride's family and friends and he had a close friend as his best man and that was it. It was a lovely wedding yet it had this feeling of sadness over it as well. A month on and the groom's family still haven't spoken to him. sad.gif

That's really sad. Weddings do really bring out the best and worst in people.

#11 Guest_Windsor_Guest

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 10:37 AM

QUOTE(nephthys @ Jul 25 2012, 10:09 AM) View Post

The most recent wedding I went to, the groom's family have a serious agenda on him (for reasons unknown) and because they changed the date, the family objected and did not show. Not a single one. The poor groom was in a room full of the bride's family and friends and he had a close friend as his best man and that was it. It was a lovely wedding yet it had this feeling of sadness over it as well. A month on and the groom's family still haven't spoken to him. sad.gif

That's so sad!

#12 Mel B

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 10:42 AM

I have been to a lot of weddings but there is a clear winner for worst wedding. It was a former colleague of mine:

- held in a bowling club with zero attempt at decoration
- the MC had a fear of public speaking
- the food was almost non existent. There were a couple of platters of canapes which turned out to be the entree (really wished later I'd grabbed more of these!). The main course was a slice of either roast chicken or beef, one small roast potato and a few peas. The dessert was the choc mud wedding cake cut into the smallest slices I've ever seen and served on saucers with not so much as a strawberry or a dollop of cream.
- the bride was one of the vainest people I have ever met. There were a lot of mirrors around so we ended up amusing ourselves counting how many times she preened herself.
- the speeches were excruciating. First there was the stagestruck MC, then the best man told an inappropriate story and then the bride thanked her hairdresser, makeup artist and dressmaker "for making me look so stunning"
- the wine was almost undrinkable it was so bad but that didn't deter the bride who got completely smashed and danced on the table, lifting her dress in the air to display her lacy g string.

The only good thing about the wedding was that I am still telling this story 17 years later!
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#13 Sakorsha


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 10:46 AM

I've been to 2 weddings that had a few things I wasn't impressed with (they were otherwise beautiful weddings).

First one was my cousins wedding about 9 years ago now. She had it in a chapel in Maleney (which is quite a drive for us) and the ceremony went on and on and on and my bum was hurting due to sitting on a wooden pew. The main problem with this was that she wasn't even catholic, and her husband's family was, but he wasn't practicing.

They then had about a 2-3 hour gap before the reception began with no drinks out and nowhere to go. Very boring!! And then at the reception, the brides grandmother had her earphones in listening to the AFL grand final ohmy.gif!!

The other wedding was a friends wedding 2 years ago. The ceremony was at a golf club and there was very minimal signage to actually find the chapel so there were guests wandering around the grounds, lost (including DH & I). When we finally figured out where to go, it was such a hike that my feet were hurting when I got there (not the best walking shoes!)

The reception was then about 30 mins drive away (which was fine) but the weather decided to throw a mini cyclone at us on the way!! Not something the B & G could have helped, but it made getting to the reception interesting biggrin.gif.

The food wasn't the greatest, and the speeches were a bit long winded and the same stories were often repeated.

I often wonder what people say about our wedding. I loved it, though a bit more dancing would have been good, but I do wonder if other people think parts of it weren't up to scratch.
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#14 Tigridia


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Posted 25 July 2012 - 11:32 AM

I've been to a few doozies. One where the hired wedding signer was so awful that the drunk guests singing Karoke was preferable. The same wedding the bride was shoulder charging guests (for fun) and ended up flat on her back with her dress around her ears.

Another great one was a long-time friends who had a wedding at a posh venue with a formal sit down dinner, waiters, the groom in a tux etc etc. Then they served barbecued sausages in bread ohmy.gif Apparently, that is what the groom wanted. Of course there was no tomato sauce, because that would have been tacky (according the the bride) rolleyes.gif .The poor chef was standing there in his chef uniform trying to explain to us the different types of sausages while keeping a straight face. This wedding alo had the distinction of pretty much no one touching the wine on the tables. 200 people sat there with 4 opened bottles on each table. We commented to one of the wait staff that it 'tasted like paint stripper' and she said, 'yeah I know, no one can ever drink that stuff' laugh.gif laugh.gif

The worst one of all those was some lovely uni friends of mine (who I'm still good friends with today) who got married years ago when we were still all quite young. The brides family are quite religious. The wedding was small, maybe 15-20 people tops. Only a few friends. All the friends stayed at the brides parents house the night before (it was an interstate wedding).

The bride slept in her childhood room and the groom camped out he back in a tent. The morning of the wedding the groom had a total tantrum and was refusing to come inside because 'he thought the bride was going to leave him at the alter'. We talked him down from that one. Then the bride had a meltdown because her mum had organised a family friend to do her make-up, and bought a small bunch of flowers for her to use as a bouquet. The bride didn't want flowers or make-up. The make-up was very tastefully applied (and it was quite subtle). She had a tantrum and washed it all off. Her parents had organised a family friend to take some photos. Both the bride and groom refused to be in any. The poor guy was taking photos of me to keep himself occupied rolleyes.gif
We get to the church, the ceremony is pretty low key and is over in 30 mins. However, there is no 'kiss the bride'. They were just announced husband and wife, no kiss. We later asked the groom about it. He said, and I quote "I wasn't going to kiss her" I think he meant he didn't want to kiss in public, but it came across totally differently.

The reception was on a boat, cruising around a river. The cruise is scheduled for 4 hours. There were some canapes but they lasted about 10 minutes. The only entertainment was religious hymns. You couldn't escape them. There was no alcohol, only non-alcoholic wine. About then I wanted to kill myself laugh.gif The speeches consisted of the brides family giving advice about how to be a good wife/husband and was all fairly religious. Given neither the bride nor groom were particularly religious it was a little weird. Then the groom, asked me and some of the other friends about advice for what to do on the wedding night ohmy.gif We did kind of guess they were still virgins, but it wasn't really what I was prepared to discuss, at the wedding. Then the corker, the groom, loudly announced to the Captain of the boat that he 'was bored' and wanted to go home. tongue.gif tongue.gif

It was a very very memorable wedding. Anyway, they have been married about 13 years now and have 3 beautiful kids and seem very happy. I guess they figured out the wedding night afterall laugh.gif
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#15 Guest_Windsor_Guest

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 11:49 AM

QUOTE(Tigridia @ Jul 25 2012, 11:32 AM) View Post

It was a very very memorable wedding. Anyway, they have been married about 13 years now and have 3 beautiful kids and seem very happy. I guess they figured out the wedding night afterall laugh.gif

Glad they got it sorted wink.gif

Sakorsha, of course your wedding was wonderful, all Winter 2008 ones were, didn't you know?!
I had excellent feedback from everyone for ours and I truly do think it is one of the best weddings I've been to. That said, we were the first out of all our various groups of friends to marry, it was on a long weekend so lots of people travelled and had a bit of a holiday and catch up with people they hadn't seen in ages. We didn't do anything really 'out there' and chose a nice venue with good food and wine. Can't go wrong with that!

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