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My 3 yr old whinging and whining

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#1 loveActually



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Posted 27 June 2012 - 03:42 PM

Hi girls...

I am a little concerned about my baby boy who has just turned 3. Lately he has been very whiney and whingy - always wants to be carried and cries over small things. This has been happening now for about a month. He isnt ALWAYS like this. But he has been like this alot of the time lately. He wants to be carried even though he can walk- and he only needs to walk a short distance.

I'm worried that it is because he is only with me for half the time - I am sharing equal custody with his dad.

Is anyone else going thru this or has gone through this at all?

#2 tess88


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Posted 07 July 2012 - 07:31 AM

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone(minus the carrying). Mine is the same and has been like this since he turned 3(he is 3.5yrs now). So my guess is completely normal. I think it is worse then terrible twos(they were a walk in the park compared to this).

My sons gets worse when he is bored. He does activities so fast that he gets bored so easily. Plus add the wet wether we have had means less time outside to burn some of this boredom energy out.

Sorry, wish I could tell you how to deal with it. But I hope it is just a phase that my son will grow out of(it would be great if it would end soon).
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#3 Porthos


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Posted 07 July 2012 - 01:41 PM

I will also say that three is harder than two. My DD has a LOT of attitude and she knows how to push my buttons. She will whinge and whine and push me to the edge to get what she wants.

The flip side is that she is very communicative, she has a great vocab and you can reason with her. So I can tell her "if you keep doing X, Y will be the consequence". This tends to diffuse most situations (eventually).

She will sometimes be extra cuddly and need snuggles etc if she is over tired, sad, cross etc. she knows I can't carry her as she is far too heavy and I am far too pregnant so she doesn't ask. If you and your partner have separated and are sharing custody his extra clingy behavior may be a result of this change in his life...he needs the extra security and attention perhaps?

I am definitely looking forward to hitting four wink.gif Three has been a pain in the butt!

#4 Penny P Star

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Posted 07 July 2012 - 05:45 PM

Sounds pretty normal to me - we had constant whinging. Three year olds just seem developmentally lead to believe they are the centre of the universe laugh.gif The smallest things become devastating rolleyes.gif

As Porthos says, it improves as they progress as you can rationalise more and more with them. They start to have a little more respect for consequences...

#5 chelley


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Posted 07 July 2012 - 07:16 PM

I used to say three year olds are threenagers. Four is far more awesome.

Perhaps your 3 year old needs more reassurance and consistency between you and your hubby in how routines are managed around bedtimes - things like that - when the custody is shared. Just a thought.
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#6 Jaydee


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Posted 07 July 2012 - 08:34 PM

Bee has been like this since- well, since my last trimester of pregnancy with Scarlett. Her meltdowns are astounding.

Along with keeping things consistent, giving her plenty of choice etc etc, we've implemented "special mummy time" and "special daddy time" where they get to choose what we do, and it's just one on one. We've done sushi train, shoe shopping, etc.

And also, I've found that listening to "the little stuff" as if it's "the big stuff" has helped immensely- after all, it's all big stuff to them.

Oh- and food!! It's always ten times worse when she's had junk.

#7 Alison


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Posted 07 July 2012 - 09:20 PM

My 4.5 year old whinges all day long. Drives me insane.
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#8 claire_p


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Posted 08 July 2012 - 05:39 PM

My 3 year old is always wanting carried (especially up and down the stairs) and he is always whinging, much more than his sister ever did!!! I would love it if he would just say in words what is wrong rather than whine/squeel about it. I have been trying to get down to his level when it starts to get him to tell me what the problem is so we will see if it improves soon. Oh and everysecond sentence out of his mouth is "I'm hungry" (I do feed him!!)

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#9 shelly1170


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Posted 09 July 2012 - 03:44 PM

My Abigail was born whining! The whiny voice does my head in and I now refuse to react to it. She has been talking in sentences since 18 months so there is no excuse. I simply say "I can't understand you when you whine, use your big girl voice and I'll listen". She has just turned 4 and the whining is lessening. But it was at it's peak between 2 1/2-3 1/2.

As for carrying, I never really have once they were walking. I have a bad back so just can't do it, except for every now and then.

Consistency is the key, I believe. Establish what you are willing to accept with regards to your childs behaviour and try to keep that standard. Just keep it realistic! In an ideal world you and your ex would establish this together, but we don't live in dreamland! Your little one will quickly realise what is expected in your house, though it may take a period of adjustment when he arrives each time. Just stay consistent.

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