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IUI/IVF/ICSI with donor sperm


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#1 bmee

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 10:47 AM

Just reaching out really.

Is there anyone here that has TTC with donor sperm (or donor sperm and eggs) because they haven't had a partner?

I'm just at a crossroad and can't find anyone to obtain information or support from sad.gif

#2 ClaireBear

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 11:01 AM

I teach with a girl who is single and had a baby via donor sperm. She is intensely private about it and I wouldn't be able to get any useful info from her to share with you, but her child is so loved and (for the most part) well adjusted (the mum is a bit intense!).

Can you contact your FS and see if they know of anyone who would talk to you about it?

Edited to remove signature.

#3 *Tash*

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 11:22 AM

QUOTE(ClaireBear @ Jun 8 2012, 11:01 AM) View Post

I teach with a girl who is single and had a baby via donor sperm. She is intensely private about it and I wouldn't be able to get any useful info from her to share with you, but her child is so loved and (for the most part) well adjusted (the mum is a bit intense!).

Can you contact your FS and see if they know of anyone who would talk to you about it?

Edited to remove signature.


We did IUI and ICSI with donor, but for medical reasons. I can answer questions about the techincal side of things though if you would like. Your clinic should be able to point you in the direction of seminars and support groups for people in your situation.

#4 bmee

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 11:50 AM

Thanks guys...

I'm just about to change clinics and get the referral. Last time that I was at a specialist it was with my then husband and it just brings back really bad memories of TTC with him there. This time, I'm doing it alone... No support from anyone.

I just can't move past the "is it fair on the child" arguement. I mean, I am going to be a single parent. No male role model or second parent in the childs life. I guess that's why I've started looking into co-parenting sites. Although I don't know how safe they are.

I'm just trying to seek guidance...

(to clarify, if I did find someone on a co-parenting site I would be getting to know them over a period of time and going through FS still).

#5 aChocLover

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 03:41 PM

I can't help with your query sorry, but just wanted to wish you every happiness x



#6 bmee

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 08:54 PM

QUOTE(-gg- @ Jun 8 2012, 04:43 PM) View Post

Don't even think for a second that it isn't fair on your future child.
It will grow up knowing how very much wanted it was.
Lots of people have one parent for a variety of reasons. 2 parents don't equal a happy family for everyone.
Bmee I have watched what you have been through and it is obvious to all what a good mother you will be.

As for access to sperm- I know a same sex couple who accessed sperm through rpa fertility clinic ? They needed full ivf too)
Good luck on this journey!


Thank you so very much for your words. I know that I come and go from here a bit but yes, I have been through a bit. I just do struggle with being a single single parent from day one. I think I can physically handle being a mum and doing it alone. I just had hopes that it would have happened with a significant other.

I am getting a referral to go to the new specialist and I know that there is a waiting period for donor sperm. Mum is going through chemo and started a new 18 week cycle today. Chemo is the only thing we can do now and I so desperately want her to have a chance to know a grandchild before its too late. I'm just finding that there is so much going on that I'm jumping into this a little quicker then I expected. I am ready. I know I'm ready. But I do worry about the cost, what if it doesn't work, how do I explain why they don't have a dad. The list goes on.

I just find it difficult to find answers. I'll get there. With all your support.

Thanks guys

#7 Myst

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Posted 08 June 2012 - 09:13 PM

Sorry - I have no advice but just wanted to wish you all the best with everything (including your mum). xxx

#8 nephthys

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Posted 09 June 2012 - 07:10 AM

I know anecdotally of a friend of my mother's who made the decision at 38 to have a child by herself. Unfortunately I don't know what process she used exactly, but I do know she used a device similar to a turkey baster ( blush.gif just going by what I was told!). The sperm arrived in a thermos with the injecting device included and when she ovulated, she used the device. It worked and her son would be two-years old by now and I've heard she hasn't regretted it for a moment.

If you go this route and people get nosey, just have a script ready to answer their questions. A child needs to feel secure and grow in an environment of consistency and boundaries and a dedicated mother can certainly do that. A male role model can come in the form of a close male friend, a coach, an uncle or all of the above. Trust me, having a partner to raise a child with doesn't necessarily mean you get support and someone to share the load.

If you like, I can ask my mum to get in touch with her friend for some more information?

#9 bmee

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Posted 09 June 2012 - 10:51 AM

QUOTE(nephthys @ Jun 9 2012, 07:10 AM) View Post

I know anecdotally of a friend of my mother's who made the decision at 38 to have a child by herself. Unfortunately I don't know what process she used exactly, but I do know she used a device similar to a turkey baster ( blush.gif just going by what I was told!). The sperm arrived in a thermos with the injecting device included and when she ovulated, she used the device. It worked and her son would be two-years old by now and I've heard she hasn't regretted it for a moment.

If you go this route and people get nosey, just have a script ready to answer their questions. A child needs to feel secure and grow in an environment of consistency and boundaries and a dedicated mother can certainly do that. A male role model can come in the form of a close male friend, a coach, an uncle or all of the above. Trust me, having a partner to raise a child with doesn't necessarily mean you get support and someone to share the load.

If you like, I can ask my mum to get in touch with her friend for some more information?


I would really apprecaite this... I mean, there are forums out there for women who choose to be single mothers, however I'm in a relationship... he just doesn't wish to have any additional children. That's fine and I am never going to pressure anyone into that situation. He is fully accepting of me wishing to be a Mother however cannot guarantee how he will feel about being around a child that isn't his. Again, completely appreciate this. We both love each other very much and accept our differences. If we are meant to be, we are meant to be... Anyway, back to my point. The forums out there for women wishing to become parents see me as fitting in a grey area (IMO) and I haven't really been included...

I just was sure that not all ladies who are parents on this forum have been conceived by a partner regardless of natural or artifical insemination. Just wanted to poke in and say, I'm there too, just in case anyone needed anything...

Thank you for your help so far ladies.. I really apprecaite.




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