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She wont stay in bed!


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#1 HoneySoyChicken

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 02:31 PM

Hello ladies!
I was hoping someone here could offer us some advice or words of wisdom.
My daughter, who is 2, has decided that she no longer wants to sleep in a cot and wants to sleep in a bed. That is fine by us. Two weeks ago we started by putting her cot mattress on the floor, then progressed to a single bed matress, and then eventually put the mattress on a base.
For the first four days we had visitors over, so to avoid disrupting everyone's sleep, we allowed her to come into our bed, or I fell asleep on the floor beside her, if she woke up during the night.
After our guests left we decided that it was time to get her to stay in bed, so we decided to try the "rapid return" method, where every time she got out of bed we would put her back in and say "good night", with no other eye contact or conversation. After a few nights (about 3?) it worked well- for three nights it only took about two returns to get her to sleep, and then she'd wake up at 5 or 6 and we'd only have to put her back in bed once!
And then the horror started. Ever since those wonderful couple of nights it has taken us at least 2 hrs to get her to sleep, and she has woken up at least twice each night! At first we though she got the idea that she was getting nothing so she'd stay in bed, but now we think it has turned into a game for her- because she knows she will get to see us if she leaves her room!
She is totally capable of opening all of the doors in the house, and we were thinking that the next stage might be locking her door- but I am not 100% comfortable with this idea...
Please help!
xoxo
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Kailiana Dorothy
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#2 melin

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 02:50 PM

I don't have any personal experience but I know friends of mine put a baby gate in their daughters doorway because she was doing the same thing.

Hope someone can give you some other advice soon!! Xoxo

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#3 ClaireBear

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 02:52 PM

From your ticker it looks like your daughter has just turned two. My personal opinion is that that is too young to go into a bed as she is not old enough to recognise the boundaries of a bed - ie the cot bars aren't there to guide her where the boundary is.

If putting her back in her cot and trying again later is not something you want to do, a few parents I know put safety gates over the doorway of the bedroom. That way, if she does open the door, she can't get out and go wandering. So that might be a compromise between keeping her in her room and locking the door, which I totally understand why you don't feel comfortable with that.
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#4 tastebud

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 03:15 PM

Safety gate?

I had no choice but to put my eldest in a bed at 18 months. He was repeatedly unzipping his grobag, climbing out and injuring himself.

He wrecked the room before every sleep time but the safety gate across the door was a life saver. It also gave me peace of mind to know he wasn't wandering around (or out of) the house completely unsupervised.
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#5 Avery

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 05:30 PM

We used a gate with our DD - its a retractable one (which looks so much better when its not in use!). We did tresillian, so we thought we would be in for a fight when she transfered into a bed, but it only took a few nights of "rapid returns" to get her settled.

We did have our setbacks like you described, which is why we got the gate. With DD it was more a case of knowing we would come in, rather than being unable to settle. We knew she was safe in there, and in the end after a few brief tantrums (and us not responding) she took herself off to bed smile.gif
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#6 Jaydee

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Posted 25 May 2012 - 08:36 AM

Do you still have the cot?

At first with Levi we had both the cot and a single bed in his room. If he chose to get out of his bed, he went into his cot. And then we'd try again the following night. It didn't take long.

#7 Thelma

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Posted 25 May 2012 - 09:00 AM

QUOTE(Jaydee @ May 25 2012, 08:36 AM) View Post

Do you still have the cot?

At first with Levi we had both the cot and a single bed in his room. If he chose to get out of his bed, he went into his cot. And then we'd try again the following night. It didn't take long.


I would try this first. If she doesn't want to go in the cot then she'll learn to stay in her bed.

We've just moved my 2.5 year old DD into a bed and have had quite a period of adjustment. Luckily for us we live in an old house where the door knobs are up high so she can't reach them to let herself out. She calls out to us but we don't respond (unless it's sounding desperate)

One thing we recently discovered was giving her a night light. She has never had one before so I didn't think about it. DD would get out of bed and lie down at the crack under the door so she could get some light. Then she would fall asleep everynight right behind the door on the (hard wood) floors! She has some butterfly fairy lights in her room so they get turned on and she's much happier. She'll often play quietly in her room for a bit which is fine by us, then puts herself into her bed.

When we first started we would leave her door ajar and then we would find ourselves with a visitor in our bed in the middle of the night! So we now leave it closed. If she wakes in the middle of the night I get up to her and don't let her into bed with us (I just can't sleep with her in our bed!). Most of the time though it's just because she can't find her comfort bunny in amongst all the blankets. Once she's got that she settles back again quickly.

#8 Monica

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Posted 25 May 2012 - 10:17 AM

I was going to ask if you close the door when you leave the room?
We found that if Nina was still awake she panicked with the door shut but if we leave it open, she stays in bed happily and falls asleep, we close it once she is sound asleep.

We have been very very lucky and I only commented to DH a month or so again that she had NEVER gotten out of bed - bingo, a day or two later she started. It hasn't been a huge issue though and it's not every night, I am just very stern with her and it's back to bed straight away.

Also, is she still having a day sleep? If so perhaps she isn't as tired at bed time?
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#9 chelley

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Posted 25 May 2012 - 05:05 PM

We didn't have this issue but I would suggest a night light. It may be reassuring during the night enough for your little one to stay in their room
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#10 HoneySoyChicken

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 10:18 PM

Hey ladies- just a quick reply at the moment to say thanks for all the advice!
We have decided to go with returning her to bed once, and then locking the door, but going in if she gets distressed (which seems to be working- I haven't needed to go in). I would love to use the safety gate idea so that we could leave the door open, but we live with the in-laws, so there are 7 noisy people under one roof and it is just impractical- people are walking up and down the hallway all night, and if she makes a peep my FIL always yells out- "IS THAT KAILI CRYING? CAN YOU HEAR HER?? CAN YOU HEAR HER CRYING!??!?!" *doh*... and no matter how many times we beg them to keep the noise down it doesn't work- plus everyone has to walk past her room to get to their own, so it makes it very hard >_< .... the last couple of nights have been good, if she gets up and can't get out I hear her calling out, go in and comfort her, and she nods back off to sleep.... hopefully she will soon learn to just stay asleep!

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