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#1 mango

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 10:09 AM

Please tell me it is possible to have an ok sleeper with them.

Aly did have one but after constantly having to get up and give it back to her (6 times in 2 hours one night) I took it away. That was 3 weeks ago. Nothing I do is getting her to sleep and stay asleep. I'm exhausted. With the dummy she was self settling, without she is screaming for hours sleeping only short bursts and refluxing so much more. Its worse then it was with the dummy, I didn't think that was possible. So I have caved and have given it to her because her screams (well all noises now) are like razors in my head and she has self settled again. I think I'm going to give it back to her permanentely, but feel completely stupid taking it away for 3 weeks and now caving. For what its worth I don't think she is screaming for the dummy, she was fine after the intial upset and was settling eventually, but after a few days her reflux went mental and so did the screaming. Please tell me its not the devil and it possible to get an ok sleeper with it. Any tips you can give me to try and nut out the constant waking through the night, which to be honest now I don't think was directly the dummy all along but possibly her reflux too.

Oh and we decided that sleep clinic is not for us again.

#2 Cole29*

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 10:22 AM

I don't have any advice but we had a reflux bub who slept well and had a dummy - in fact he still does have one for sleeps and he is almost 2. We never really had the problem fo the dummy falling out and him waking though, once it fell out he would just continue to sleep.
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#3 Amelia Jane

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 10:39 AM

Gosh I feel for you Jazy. I am probably not the best person to give advice considering my experience of a whole ONE child, but here is my advice anyway.

*Give her the dummy and just let her have it. There is no shame in letting your child have a dummy until they are 1, 2, 3 years old. They get a bad rap and I much prefer the American term of pacifier because they PACIFY. They are not the devil at all. And please don't feel stupid, you were just trialling it, it's all trial and error I think and you have experimented and figured out that taking away the dummy isn't the best move at the moment. You haven't done anything wrong!

*Personally, I would do an elimination diet with the help of a dietician or Colic Solved to try and see if anything is triggering the reflux/unsettled behaviour. I know this isn't for everyone though.

*I would cosleep or at least room in if you aren't already. Again, I know it's not for everyone but I think the less moving around you have to do in the middle of the night, the better.

*Get DH or your mum to take over during the night for a couple of nights so you can get some rest and face everything anew with some sleep behind you.

*Keep her upright as much as possible. Cot on an incline, day sleeps in a bouncer or swing and playtime in a bumbo or highchair.

*As a last resort, I would trial her on some formula, while expressing to maintain your supply, and just see how she goes on that. I'm sure there are anti-reflux formulas around.

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#4 em2007

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 10:42 AM

Ok - the tips we got with regards to dummy at 8 months (when Angus was waking every sleep cycle - night and day) were:

- dummy is only for sleep so it builds a sleep association. Don't let it leave the cot. We had fallen into the habit of using it to settle him when he was upset (a lot of the time because he was so sleep deprived... vicious cycle!)

- we were doing the controlled comforting/settling - ie settling till quiet then leaving room. Letting him grizzle and cry for 2 minutes then going back in (going in straight away if escalated to distressed crying). And repeating with longer intervals 2/4/6/8/8/8 minutes. They suggested settling the first time without dummy and seeing if we could stretch till we went in the third time before offering dummy. At that point he always really wanted it and sometimes that was all it took.

We pretty much changed how we used the dummy and we started waking (not dream feed - a proper wakeup feed) him for a feed at 10pm and then gradually pushing that later and later.

Then we did the controlled comforting for wakes (though he woke less with the above tips anyway) and within a week he slept through. We didn't start this till he was optimally medicated for his reflux and it seemed his sleeping was leftover bad habit.

#5 Laine

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 11:30 AM

Both my children have had dummies, my son until he was 3 then he got rid of it easily! My daughter almost 2 still has one.

Personally I think dummies are fantastic, I will admit my son did go through a phase at 12 weeks where he would wake multiple times overnight for his dummy, in hindsight I think he was needing a feed but I would just keep putting the dummy in which ultimately he would obviously spit out as he was hungry. I think this lasted around 6 weeks, not a drama since then would sleep with dummy in either all night or would spit out and continue to sleep.

My daughter after the intital newborn phase of it falling out whilst getting to sleep, never had a problem with having to replace her dummy she kept it in all night or would sleep/self settle with out it (after night feeds would sometimes put her down without it and if didnt settle initially we would offer) at times now I have to attend to her as it falls out of the cot. This would be once a month.

Advice I was given from a day stay clinic regarding dummies... as soon as child is unwrapped attach dummy to the child either by dummy chain (i used to clip to the arm of their sleeping bag same spot/side every sleep) and when they woke during the night for the dummy get their hand and place it on the bottom of the chain and run it along until they reach the dummy and guide it to their mouth with their hand. Once they realise the dummy is there and where to grab they automatically do this in their sleep needing no attention.Both my kids this has been nearly instantly successful.
If your not comfortable with using the dummy chain I have known people to sew ribbon onto the sleeping bag or pjs just the correct length as to reach the dummy to the mouth (tie dummy onto other end)

I hope this heps I do know the dummy replacing frustration, but once both my kids were around 7 months it has never been a problem.

Best of luck

#6 beachgurl

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 12:46 PM

Z had silent reflux and I praise the dummy for keeping us and her sane. Don't worry about the stigma of a dummy or that for the moment you have to keep getting up to her to give it to her. It sounds like it is worth getting up through the night to give it to her than deal with the distress of the crying.


#7 sarah2010

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 02:33 PM

We had to give a dummy to Alex at 4 weeks for reflux.

The dummy has never hindered his sleep. In the beginning he would spit it and wake up but at around 4 months (same time we started solids actually!) he would spit it and sleep through.

I believe the dummy + the solids is what really helped his reflux. He still has a dummy now for sleep times - even though he grew out of his reflux at 10 months.
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#8 jantastic

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 04:01 PM

No reflux here but ds couldn't hold a dummy in for months and months. We held it in his mouth until he nearly nodded off then took it out. We always left it in the cot and now he grabs his own.

Again, no reflux so I don't know if this would work for you, but thought I'd share just in case.

Good luck.

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#9 mango

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 04:12 PM

Thanks ladies for the reassurance. I have tried absolutely everything and am exhausted. Last night she was waking screaming hourly. In the end I ended up co-sleeping with her, something I'm really not that comfortable doing, and even that didn't help until I gave her the dummy then she scraped together a couple of hours.

I will be asking DH to move her cot back to our room, and to put it up along side the bed so I don't have to actually get up if its just dummy retrieval. We had moved it down to her own room because the dr thought we were waking her (we were already of thinking of moving her), but its obviously not the case and with her down there screaming she is waking DS up.

Laine - thankyou for mentioning the dummy chain. I had been wondering about that and if it would be safe. What is every one elses thoughts on sleeping with a chain?

The dummy has always been strictly sleep time or car and pram (but only when upset). So at least we don't have that habit. wink.gif

Rosy, I look more into Colic Solved. So far I have found out its a book, but I'll keep googling see what I can get and maybe see if I can borrow it out.

Thankyou for all the other tips and tricks. I will see how we go.

ETA: Could be a coinscidence but, including the early morning sleep, she has had 3 sleeps with the dummy and seems to be a bit happier in herself.

#10 kisma

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 11:21 AM

I have a dummy for both my kids. Neither have reflux though - thought DD did but she stopped projectile vomiting at about 7weeks, and have since been told she could have been vomiting up stomach contents they normally get rid of in birth....no idea about that. But I found the dummy great when she was what I thought was reflux because you could hear often her bringing it up, only to swallow it back down again and I think sometimes it stopped more projectile vomiting. DS was painful for a while until he could find his own dummy. I resorted to having about 6 dummies in his bassinette/cot so either he would find one or I could easily grab one. He was in our room until he was about 8months I think. I also did lots of cosleeping as he was a constant waker though and for quite some time he would just latch onto me and I would get some good stretches of sleep that way.

I dont have too many problems with DD waking for the dummy YET but am keen to buy some of these http://www.sleepywings.com.au/
to see if they will work when the time does come.
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#11 mango

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 11:59 PM

QUOTE(kisma @ Feb 4 2012, 11:21 AM) View Post

I dont have too many problems with DD waking for the dummy YET but am keen to buy some of these http://www.sleepywings.com.au/
to see if they will work when the time does come.

Thanks for the reply Kisma. I bought her some sleepy wings. She isn't in them any more now though because she rolls everywhere and they say they aren't for when the kids roll over (yet they have big sizes, surely the kids would be rolling by then?!). They were good until then though for settling. As for the dummy, we couldn't get it to work. Dummy kept falling out and she couldn't work out getting it into her mouth. They have a facebook page too and that lists where and when they go on special. Might be worth signing up. Pity I didn't know you were looking, I just sold a brand new one unopened on ebay.

Things are going ok here. Her sleep is settling down. I have a feeling her meds are finally kicking in. She is going to sleep easier. Sleeps a good length, wakes for a feed/dreamfeed, she will then have another feed sometime in the wee hours but also wake numerous times, but is starting to settle better and quicker without a feed on the extra wake ups.

#12 kisma

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 08:50 PM

QUOTE(Jazy84 @ Feb 5 2012, 12:59 AM) View Post

She isn't in them any more now though because she rolls everywhere and they say they aren't for when the kids roll over (yet they have big sizes, surely the kids would be rolling by then?!).

Noooooooooo. I thought I read they could be worn when they roll as they can prop themselves up. Bummer as DD is just starting to roll. I think I might have to wean her off all wraps etc.

Glad to hear things are improving a little and she is settling without a feed, thats always good when they get to that point I remember being very happy when DS did, he was a good 7 or 8 months old then.
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#13 mango

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 09:11 PM

Yeah I was pretty confused by that too. I took it as though if they happen to roll they are safe because they can lift up but if the are consistantly rolling then you shouldn't use them. I could be wrong though.




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