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14 month old who just won't sleep through!

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#16 babycooper



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Posted 30 January 2012 - 06:35 AM

QUOTE(Carolyn @ Jan 28 2012, 01:37 PM) View Post

How long does it take to resettle him? When DS wakes, and takes over 10 mins to settle, I find it easier to just give him a quick bottle then back to bed. If I resist giving him a bottle, he might fuss more and more until he properly wakes himself up, iykwim? At least if I give him a bottle straight away, he's back asleep in 10 mins. He sleep through most of the time, but every couple of weeks he must have a growth spurt and need the extra calories, so I just try to roll with it.

And definately strip him down. DS is a hot bod and actually sleeps better when it's cooler or when I have left the air con on.

Carolyn, he settles pretty quickly that's not the problem it's more trying to work out what wakes him in the first place!! We haven't done night feeds since about 9 months so I don't want to start again and I don't think he is hungry!
He is a hot bod too but it's so hard getting it right!
I think I will just have to wait it out! Could be much worse!
Mum to Archie Dean Cooper (18/11/10) and
Finn Joseph Cooper (24/06/13)

#17 nephthys


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Posted 30 January 2012 - 07:05 AM

DS1 didn't do his first 6-hour block unassisted until he was 14-months old either, so I'm hearing your grief. He didn't start sleeping through consistently until DS2 was born, so I haven't had a break.

I keep telling myself they'll sleep eventually...
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#18 Porthos


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Posted 30 January 2012 - 07:23 AM

QUOTE(scasey77 @ Jan 27 2012, 05:51 PM) View Post

Does your husband have days off though?? Seriously - if he has weekends off I would be be asking him to do a Friday or Saturday night. Sleep deprivation is torture.

Yup, I second that. Even one night a week for you to sleep through and sleep in would help give you a re-charge wink.gif

QUOTE(kisma @ Jan 27 2012, 07:12 PM) View Post

It may not kill him, but that is just wrong on so many levels. And since most people say it takes 3 or so nights for cio to work, i cant imagine leaving him in filth for just one night would work sad.gif mad.gif

Sorry to have illicited the angry face from you Kisma. Of course I would never leave a sick child in their own vomit, goes without saying. But if a child is vomiting or pooing for attention, there IS a school of thought that says to leave them in it for a period of time...it's not a pleasant idea, but I guess when you are at the end of your tether you may be willing to give anything a shot. It was just a suggestion and seeing as baby cooper says she isn't comfortable leaving her son in vomit, the issue is null and void anyways.

#19 Magnolia


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Posted 30 January 2012 - 10:42 AM

QUOTE(babycooper @ Jan 30 2012, 07:05 AM) View Post

We haven't done night feeds since about 9 months so I don't want to start again and I don't think he is hungry!

I know you said you don't want to start night feeds again, but maybe you could try a dream feed? I know you've tried just about everything so maybe it's worth a shot? I'm normally in the camp of letting sleeping babies lie, but maybe just that bit of extra food might help Archie? I know lots of people think overnight feeds are a no no, but when DS has a bottle, he'll sleep to 9am so the extra 2+ hours in the morning makes up for the 10-15mins I'm up at night.

QUOTE(babycooper @ Jan 30 2012, 07:05 AM) View Post

it's more trying to work out what wakes him in the first place!!

Unfortunately, I think that just happens - they wake regardless, it's whether they can get back to sleep by themselves is the key.

A few years ago, I did a course on sleep problems in adults, and adults wake several times during the night. It just depends on where you are in the sleep cycle as to whether you remember it or not and how easily it is to get back to sleep. We wake all the time to fluff the pillow, take a sip of water, steal the doona from your partner when we're cold, throw it on them when we're hot, roll over, go to the toilet etc etc and I guess the same thing happens to babies, but they can't really control their environment yet.

I totally second the suggestion of getting your DH to do one "shift" over the weekend.

I know you've done the sleep school thing without success, but have you been to see a paediatric chiro or osteo? Had his ears checked? I'm just trying to think outside the box.

I've seen your posts on FB and wish I could give you a hug sad.gif

#20 Myst


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Posted 31 January 2012 - 09:52 AM

Oh babycooper it sounds like you have been having such a hard time – I really hope things do start to settle soon.

I just wanted to let you know that my DD is 16 months old and does not sleep through the night. She did self settle and sleep through until around 8 months and then we moved house and moved her out of our room and she has not done it since. Now we rock her to sleep (every sleep) and she wakes on average 2x per night. We have a 3 strike rule as in after the third wake up she comes to bed with us.

I went through a really hard time when she was 8 months old when I was getting up to her 6-7x a night and it had to be me, she wouldn’t settle for my DH, she wouldn’t co-sleep and she would need to be feed back to sleep. It was awful and also coincided with my return to work. TBH I have no idea how I functioned for those 6 weeks on next to no sleep, I was like a zombie in a fog all of the time. Thankfully that period passed and then she settled back in to waking only a few times a night. Now 8 months later and still waking usually twice a night I have just gotten use to the broken sleep and I cope better now (I drink lots of coffee too). To me this is our normal sleep arrangement so I don’t go to bed each night expecting change, I just accept that this is how I choose to parent my toddler and know that she will wake up and need me during the night and that is fine by me. I have my bad nights where the wake up’s are longer and more frequent and I remind myself that in the grand scheme of her life she will need me like this for such a short time.

I can’t tell you the number of people who try and give me advice on how to get her to sleep through. People just cannot believe that I am happy with our current situation. The thing is, it’s not that I am happy it is more that it is my personal opinion that LO’s are not designed to be independent at this age (during the day or night) so I expect to attend to my DD if she needs me. That being my belief the key for me was not changing her but finding ways to cope myself IYKWIM.

It sounds from your posts that although you have tried some things to change his sleeping, they haven’t worked and at the end of the day it sounds as if you don’t feel comfortable with some of the tough love options so these are my suggestions;

1. If you want to make changes, read the book “The No Cry Sleep Solution” there is a toddler edition and it does not use any CIO or tough love techniques, it has gentler advice. This book is not about quick fixes but more gentle and gradual improvement for bubs over time with parents help.

2. If you just want more sleep then perhaps you could side bar his cot so it is next to your bed. He still has his sleeping space but when he wakes and need a pat you can do that from your bed (just about in your sleep).

3. If you want to just ride this out till he grows out of it then get some help and share the load! I understand that you want hubby to have a good night’s sleep but if you share the load everyone can have a bit of sleep. My DH and I take turns now and that works. We also take a weekend sleep in each. So on Saturday he gets up at 7 with our DD and I sleep in as long as I want and he does that on Sunday. On the odd occasion we also let my parents have her overnight so we both get an uninterrupted full night’s sleep. This has only happened 3x in her life but you would be amazed at what 1 nights sleep can do for you.

4. Just to be sure I would get a full check up and confirm that there is no medical reason he is waking.

I know in your post you said that you just want to know that you are not alone and I want you to know that you aren’t. Lots of babies/toddlers don’t sleep through independently until the age of 2 (and them some). Don’t worry that your LO still needs help, that is no problem IMO. My advice would be to just work on ways to help you cope and function better. For me, a lot of it is getting support and changing the way that I think about it. I know a lot of people feel that children need to learn to sleep well on their own and each to their own but kids also develop in their own time, they will not need you forever so remember that just because he is not sleeping though on his own it does not mean that there is anything wrong. The key is making sure that everyone can function and enjoy life – that is the important thing!

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat smile.gif

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