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14 month old who just won't sleep through!


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#1 babycooper

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 06:53 AM

Hi all,
I am using this post instead of paying to go to a psychologist and possibly being committed!
My 14 month old has never slept through the night and wakes at least 3 times a night!! Every night I go to sleep naively thinking that 'tonight will be the night' only to wake up feeling worse than when I went to sleep!!
I am so exhausted and am becoming a little nuts ( yesterday my neighbor parked in front of my bins preventing them from being collected and I spent a good hour thinking of very unchristian things to do to her)
I guess I just need to know that others have gotten through this stage without ending up in a psych ward! He is such a great kid that the days with him get me through but sometimes I'm too scared to drive anywhere because I'm so tired!
None of my friends 'get it' because all their kids sleep well and my husband could sleep through a bomb blast so he doesn't really understand. I am trying to stay positive about it knowing logically that eventually things will improve but then I have all the 'helpful' advice from people telling me some kids never sleep well ever!!!!!
I already feel better just ranting and raving (especially because I am hoping you are picturing me as yummy mummy not a mother with bags under her eyes and unbrushed hair)
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#2 squeaza

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 07:27 AM

Oh (((hugs))) sad.gif

First thing that springs to mind is, that your husband should be sharing this burden and giving you some good nights sleep! Even if it's one night a week or similar where you can go over to a friends or family's place for the night leaving him to do the night wake-ups.

I sleep really deeply now, but if Eddie really wants me there is no way I sleep through that. It does mean I sleep through most of the wake-up-and-talk-to-myself or one-random-huge-scream moments, but when he needs me I hear it. I can't imagine your husband would be any different with the monitor next to his ear!

FWIW I was a horror sleeper wacko.gif I was the third, and a bit of a shock after two who weren't perfect but pretty good. My mum slept through the night when I was 3 sad.gif and she survived, but she said she remembers feeling like she was living through a fog for those first few years sad.gif I think being aware of your levels of tiredness, as you obviously are, and being careful of driving and things if you don't feel up to it.

Just another suggestion - don't know if it's something that you'd consider, but a night nanny who could come over and deal with the overnight stuff once a week or fortnight, and maybe help you with why he's still waking up?
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#3 ~steph~

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 07:38 AM

A didn't sleep through till he was 15 months. I remember that fog all to well, added to my wake ups was being oncall for work which would have me up all night some nights. Hubby was the same, he just never woke up and never, ever got just how tired I was sad.gif

I am not much help as we didn't do anything different, he just seemed to grow out of waking up. Before that I had tried everything.

Is he quick to resettle?
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#4 Porthos

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 07:43 AM

Still waking three times a night sounds full on. Bloody full on.

What does he want when he wakes? Bottle? Cuddle? Is he wet through? Is he wide awake and ready to play?

If he's just after attention (cuddles / interaction) I would say it's time for some tough love and by that I mean letting him cry it out. I know you have said he vomits in the cot if left to cry...to be honest, I'd be leaving him in it, it won't kill him for one night. the thing with CIO thouh s that you really need support from your hubby...I always want to run to my babies and I need hubby to help me through, to stay strong. If he was snoring beside me that would defeat the point wink.gif

I think you might benefit from enrolling into sleep school. I am sure the professionals would be able to help with a 14 month old waking three times a night every night...that seems very full on, no wonder
you are feeling like a wreck.


#5 bluenomi

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 08:06 AM

Hattie was 18-19 months before she'd sleep through most nights. Before that she's sleep through maybe once a month. The most annoying thing is I have no idea why she changed, she just started doing by herself so I can't credit anything with helping!

I was lazy and took the easy option of breastfeeding to get her back to sleep since I work fulltime and need as much sleep as I can get. It's hard.
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#6 ~ela~

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 08:18 AM

I could have written this post myself a few months ago, actually I probably did.

I was still getting up to Lucas till 15/16 months 3/4 times a night. He would wake and just want to party, he wasn't sleeping near the average time he ''should'' have during the day, he wasn't teething, wasn't hungry, wasn't unwell, wasn't wet, wasn't much of anything! He has never been a good sleeper, eventually at 1 yr I trekked to my CHN and explained what he does, and what I do when he awakens. It's my second so I know the list to run through as to what it could be.

I know it doesn't help at the moment, but my little monkey has hit 18 months and just in the past month to 8 weeks he has started sleeping through - well down around 7.30 and awake anytime from 4.30 to start his day. Sure that doesn't sound like a lot of sleep, but I was spending so long focusing on why he wasn't sleeping as much as he ''should'' and getting myself all stressed about it.

Like others have said it just happened really, I hadn't changed anything in his routine. If anything I was putting him to bed that tad before I noticed he was showing tired signs. Also I have noticed if he has a good sleep during the day, we tend to have a better night. Sleep seems to create the want to sleep more. smile.gif

Make an appt to see your GP and/or your health nurse for this time next week. Use the week to write a diary of his days/nights awake/sleep times just to give them an idea of the waking. I was taken a lot more seriously when I had documented for weeks his (and my!) lack of sleep.

I really feel for you, after 3 years I finally feel I am starting to get some energy back and feel normal almost when starting the day!

Let us know how you go. smile.gif

#7 sarah2010

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 08:30 AM

Alex always wakes once overnight. Anywhere from 1am - 5am, sitting and resettling next to him just seems ridiculous to me and with us both working we need the sleep. So usually we bring him in with us and he finishes off his sleep in our bed ..... such bad habits!!!!!

We are going to have to address it before our second baby comes along... but I am secretly hoping he will just 'grow' out of the waking...!

I think several times a night isn't normal though hun - I would see about speaking to a professional. Maybe there is a reason why he is doing it? I feel like a zombie with the broken sleep as it is and it is just once. Several times a night would send me insane!

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#8 scasey77

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 08:59 AM

It must be horrid having to get up that many times a night. I really feel for you.

Why do you think he is waking? What does he need from you when he wakes?

If it's comfort, have you introduced a comforter to try and substitute? If you are picking him up, maybe try and not pick him up but pat him in the cot or similar and reduce your interaction everytime he wakes.

If you are feeding him I would try substituting water instead of milk.

Does he put himself off to sleep at the beginning of sleeps? If not, maybe work on gradually introducing that. If he puts himself to sleep at the beginning you will have more chance of him doing it when he wakes at night. I used Save Our Sleep which I love but it's not for everyone I know so if you prefer a gentle approach use something else.

I would have a think about getting a referral to a sleep school. You never know, you could get something out of it that just clicks for you.

And get your husband to do the wakeups one or 2 nights a week so you can get a decent sleep. If that means you going elsewhere or him sleeping in another room so you can shut your door and gice him monitors etc do that.
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#9 greenwich

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 10:20 AM

I understand how awful sleep deprivation can be. First thing is to take care of you. Does he do decent day naps so you can have a rest then? Can you go to bed a bit earlier? Can you have a nap on the weekends while DH has some one on one time with DS?

Secondly, do you know why he is waking? Hunger? Cold? Teething? Just because? And what does it take to resettle him?

A girl in my MG lent me the dream baby guide. It has a section that lists reasons for night wakings based on the time they occurr in conjunction with her routines. If bubs is a routine baby then this might be helpful.

Fwiw my DD didn't sleep through until she was 1, and still has periods of not sleeping through (illness/teething/just because). My DH is also a sound sleeper. He would happily do the night time wakings, but by the time i woke him I'd be awake too and struggle to get back to sleep. So he'd often take bubs in the morning and I'd have a sleep in.



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#10 babycooper

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 01:13 PM

Thanks for all your responses.
He doesnt want to play, eat or is too wet! He in awake seems half asleep and just needs to be laid back down and given a pat. He sleeps from about 7.30-3ish without waking so he can self settle after a sleep cycle.
I think it has a lot to do with the temperature. I have a Groegg but he seems to get hot easily. I feel the cold easily so I struggle to underdress him!
I don't want my husband to wake at night because he has work and needs to be focused. He does the breaky shift so I can have a shower in peace! I have taken to having sleeps when Archie does which means my house is disgraceful!
I tried sleep school when he was about 8 months but he failed!!! The nurse said she had not seen a baby like him. He vomited 4 times and was gagging and shaking and I just couldn't do it to him! In hindsight I should have been stronger but the vomitting is so distressing! Controlled crying is too hard because as soon as I go in to check how much he has vomitted and clean his face he wins because I'm in the room. People suggest leaving him in it but I just can't as he vomits multiple times till I get him!!
I don't really need solutions as I have tried everything. It's just nice to hear about other babies that are like him and see that other mums survive.
To top it off I had a car accident today... Just a little bingle but I am starting to think bring committed might be easier!!!!!!
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#11 ~BJL~

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 04:25 PM

My son is nearly 19 months old and still does not sleep through the night.

I feel your pain.

We moved him into a bed, so at least when he wakes I can lay next to him and sleep while he settles back to sleep. We we're not comfortable with leaving him to cry, and it disturbed our daughter if we tried to settle him in his cot, as he would just get upset. The bed has been the best solution we've tried, no long hours awake and everyone gets the most sleep they can with a toddler who doesn't sleep though.
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#12 scasey77

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 04:51 PM

Does your husband have days off though?? Seriously - if he has weekends off I would be be asking him to do a Friday or Saturday night. Sleep deprivation is torture.
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#13 kisma

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 06:12 PM

QUOTE(Porthos @ Jan 27 2012, 08:43 AM) View Post

I know you have said he vomits in the cot if left to cry...to be honest, I'd be leaving him in it, it won't kill him for one night.

It may not kill him, but that is just wrong on so many levels. And since most people say it takes 3 or so nights for cio to work, i cant imagine leaving him in filth for just one night would work sad.gif mad.gif

My son sleeps through and first did for a few nights in a row at 8months. But goes through phases of waking every night for a week and then not again for two weeks etc, it was torture in the last trimester of my pregnancy when I had insane insomnia and was trying to work off about 4-5 hours of broken sleep everyday.

The only advice I can suggest is to load him up on protein for dinner and try and get him dressed right if he is a hot bub. These are two frequent problems with my son waking, Some nights he goes to bed in a nappy amd a singlet and he will still wake up sweating (our house sucks for climate control, not to mention this humid weather - that then cools when it rains).

Also you could try a video monitor??? - pricey but could be worth it. Since we got ours I have noticed our son will cry while crawling around trying to find his dummy - I was a bit WT is he doing the first time i saw it and just sat there watching. But previously I would have just gotten up to him as I wqould have onlyu heard crying but often that meant I went in and disturbed him when he could have been close to finding his dummy. He will also cry when he has i assume a nightmare? but will be laying still barely moving, and then stops, again I would have gotten up to him.

I hope it gets better for you soon.
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#14 mango

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 06:25 PM

I have no advice I have crap sleepers and have tried everything without success. My DS at 3.5yo still wakes at least once a night most nights. Currently, since DD was born, I have been lucky to get 4hours very broken sleep a night.
QUOTE(kisma @ Jan 27 2012, 06:12 PM) View Post

Also you could try a video monitor??? - pricey but could be worth it.

Just on this JB Hi-fi has a uniden baby watch monitor that is discontinued. I picked up a 2nd one for our house for $99 on clearance a week or 2 ago. Dick smith has the new version uniden out for $169. We now have 2 of the orginal one and have no issues with it.

#15 Magnolia

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Posted 28 January 2012 - 12:37 PM

QUOTE(babycooper @ Jan 27 2012, 01:43 PM) View Post


He doesnt want to play, eat or is too wet! He in awake seems half asleep and just needs to be laid back down and given a pat. He sleeps from about 7.30-3ish without waking so he can self settle after a sleep cycle.


How long does it take to resettle him? When DS wakes, and takes over 10 mins to settle, I find it easier to just give him a quick bottle then back to bed. If I resist giving him a bottle, he might fuss more and more until he properly wakes himself up, iykwim? At least if I give him a bottle straight away, he's back asleep in 10 mins. He sleep through most of the time, but every couple of weeks he must have a growth spurt and need the extra calories, so I just try to roll with it.

And definately strip him down. DS is a hot bod and actually sleeps better when it's cooler or when I have left the air con on.




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