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mother baby unit- your experiences


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#1 ran

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:23 PM

Hi all,

After 3.5 months of bad sleeping I have finally booked us in for sleep school. I was hoping that some of you might share your experiences and whether or not they work. When I asked if it was controlled crying they said no it is 'controlled comforting' which really sounds like the same thing to me (and I have tried it anyway, I just end up with a hysterical baby) and it didnt work so part of me is cynical that they will find a way to really get my boy to sleep. I just think he needs more than 8-10 hours of sleep per 24 hours and am willing to try anything at this point.

thanks

#2 mango

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:51 PM

From what I have read control crying and control comforting is the same thing.

We went to sleep school, but had no luck with DS. I did however see it work for the others there at the time. Some babies do need that consistant "tough-love" approach and thrive on it. Unfortunately some babies (like mine) time, patience and consistantly calm settling approach is needed. The centre will be more then just sleep training. They are full of help, support and other lovely people going through the same crap, and get it (how tough of a time your having). One of my now best mate I meet at our stay at sleep school. Our boys are only days apart, both doing the same things and although it times it was hard seeing them a success, it was great to have meet them and share the ride with them.

Good luck. Its worth a shot, and if it doesn't work remember there is still support here and one day the crappy-ness will pass and your bubs will be able to either cope with the little sleep or he will eventually just get it. For What it worth we ended up doing CIO (cry it out) for DS when he was about 18months (trying to settle him made things worse) and we have never looked back. I'm not saying do that now but when bubs is older its another option.

#3 ran

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 06:00 PM

thanks Jazzy

I feel that my boy is quite an emotional and dependant child and that is why efforts to have him settle in a cot or anywhere apart from my breast or our shoulders have not worked at all.

I never ever wanted to do CC or CIO and wanted to be an attachment parent but some nights when I havent eaten and he hasnt slept and just wont go to sleep I will do anything to get him to sleep!

What was your calm settling approach if you dont mind me asking?

#4 mango

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 10:15 PM

I'm not a hardcore "attachment parenting" mum but somethings I relate to. I didn't think I would do CC or CIO but I gave it a go in desperation (I was getting 1-3 hours of broken sleep in 24hours). I figured I'm not a very good in tune parent if I'm tired and cranky and we both aren't sleeping.

There is a book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" which is aimed at calm settling. I haven't actually read the book, but there has been a lot about it posted in here. Basically its about taking baby steps at reducing bubs dependance on you to settle and to teach them to SS. I was patting DD to sleep on my shoulder. Then I started to stop patting when she was almost dropping off and let her drop off on her own. Once she was good at that, I would pat till almost dropping off then transfer and pat to sleep in the cot. I then started to reduce the time I patted on the shoulder and put her in the cot and patted some more. Now she gets a cuddle maybe a little pat, but she is actually fighting that now, so I put her in the cot and am patting her till her eyes drop then gentle reducing the patting and holding my hand on her. Each time she goes to stir and kick about I give her a few more pats till she settles. I stay with her with my hand on her till she is asleep. Once she is use to this I will try to reduce how long I pat her for initially when laid down and to remove my hand from her earlier. It helps that we have a glow worm sort of toy (its actually a sea horse) that plays lullabies, 8 in a row with a quiet-ish pause (plays gentle sea noises) between each, And I have been counting how many lullabies its taking me to settle her and helps me set aims for reducing me assisting her to sleep.

#5 Avery

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Posted 21 January 2012 - 06:46 PM

Hi ran smile.gif This is our stroy -

We did Tresillian when DD was 9 months old - after 9 months of her not sleeping past a sleep cycle (45 minutes) I tried everything (Parental presence, hands on settling etc) and tried to cope on my own but nothing worked. At 6 months we were sent to a day stay place and after being there for only a few hours the lady told me there was nothing she could do and she would write me another referral to Tresillian huh.gif

We got in 3 months later and it saved us. I was a total wreck and it was breaking my heart to see what the lack of sleep was doing to my DD. Like Jazy84 said - they used controlled comforting at Tresillian for children my daughters age and while its not something I wanted to try at the start by the time we arrived Tresillian was our last option and I was willing to try anything.

I won’t lie and say it was easy but I picked the oldest (and "hardest" nurse) and did everything she told me to do and on the 3rd night E slept through.

It was when we got home the hard work started. Her day sleeps were still all over the place and while she was still waking overnight it was nowhere near as bad. There were some nights when I just wanted to pack it in because I didn’t think I could take the crying/screaming when she was protesting going to sleep, but we kept at it and now we have a fabulous sleeper.

It really did change her personality too - she became alot calmer and a much happier child. Ive since seen that she is one of those children who need a strong routine and even though there were times we missed out on alot of things because of her routine we don’t regret a second of it.

We are due to have our second child in 4 weeks and we will be using Tresillian routines with him. I’m giving him 12 weeks of bad sleep, then its controlled comforting for him smile.gif

"It's impossible" said pride.
"It's risky" said experience.
"It's pointless" said reason.
"Give it a try" whispered the heart...

#6 ran

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Posted 21 January 2012 - 08:15 PM

Thanks for your story Avery, so good to hear a success story smile.gif

It really is just getting him to sleep in the first place that is my problem once he is down he can do 5-7 hours. We started at 630pm tonight and he is still going, currently he is quiet in bed with a piece of muslin cloth, after carrying him around for yonks. I am delusionally hoping he will send himself to sleep! haha we'll see I am sure in 2 hours he will finally go to sleep on the boob.

#7 em2007

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Posted 21 January 2012 - 08:23 PM

QUOTE(Avery @ Jan 21 2012, 07:46 PM) View Post

Hi ran smile.gif This is our stroy -

We did Tresillian when DD was 9 months old - after 9 months of her not sleeping past a sleep cycle (45 minutes) I tried everything (Parental presence, hands on settling etc) and tried to cope on my own but nothing worked. At 6 months we were sent to a day stay place and after being there for only a few hours the lady told me there was nothing she could do and she would write me another referral to Tresillian huh.gif

We got in 3 months later and it saved us. I was a total wreck and it was breaking my heart to see what the lack of sleep was doing to my DD. Like Jazy84 said - they used controlled comforting at Tresillian for children my daughters age and while its not something I wanted to try at the start by the time we arrived Tresillian was our last option and I was willing to try anything.

I won’t lie and say it was easy but I picked the oldest (and "hardest" nurse) and did everything she told me to do and on the 3rd night E slept through.

It was when we got home the hard work started. Her day sleeps were still all over the place and while she was still waking overnight it was nowhere near as bad. There were some nights when I just wanted to pack it in because I didn’t think I could take the crying/screaming when she was protesting going to sleep, but we kept at it and now we have a fabulous sleeper.

It really did change her personality too - she became alot calmer and a much happier child. Ive since seen that she is one of those children who need a strong routine and even though there were times we missed out on alot of things because of her routine we don’t regret a second of it.

We are due to have our second child in 4 weeks and we will be using Tresillian routines with him. I’m giving him 12 weeks of bad sleep, then its controlled comforting for him smile.gif


A similar story here. e went with Angus when he was 8 months and waking every sleep cycle at night. Every single sleep cycle. He was taking longer and longer to settle between those cycles so I was getting hardly any sleep and working and looking after a two year old as well.

Angus had refluc and treating that made a difference - but we still had issues due to habit, he had no idea how to self settle anymore. I tried everything in the no cry sleep solution book etc but without much luck. Once we got him sleeping through (we used controlled comforting = the 2 min, 4 min, 6 min, 8 min, 8 min approach and they made some other suggestions about how to use the dummy etc) his personality changed and he became so much more alert and happy.

#8 ran

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 08:35 AM

Thanks Melissa for your story, glad to hear it got better for you



QUOTE(~Melissa~ @ Jan 21 2012, 09:23 PM) View Post

A similar story here. e went with Angus when he was 8 months and waking every sleep cycle at night. Every single sleep cycle. He was taking longer and longer to settle between those cycles so I was getting hardly any sleep and working and looking after a two year old as well.

Angus had refluc and treating that made a difference - but we still had issues due to habit, he had no idea how to self settle anymore. I tried everything in the no cry sleep solution book etc but without much luck. Once we got him sleeping through (we used controlled comforting = the 2 min, 4 min, 6 min, 8 min, 8 min approach and they made some other suggestions about how to use the dummy etc) his personality changed and he became so much more alert and happy.



#9 HayleyNZ

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 04:52 PM

Just wanted to add that it will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life (listening to protesting, but you have to stick it out) but after about 3 days you will see great improvements!
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#10 Avery

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Posted 26 January 2012 - 01:31 PM

QUOTE(HayleyNZ @ Jan 25 2012, 05:52 PM) View Post

Just wanted to add that it will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life (listening to protesting, but you have to stick it out) but after about 3 days you will see great improvements!

I must be a hard b*tch because I didnt find it that hard. The 9 months before tresillian was pure hell - and even though it was upsetting, I knew it was our only option.
"It's impossible" said pride.
"It's risky" said experience.
"It's pointless" said reason.
"Give it a try" whispered the heart...




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