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What to do with a 6 week old. Getting 6 hours of broken sleep a day. I'm desperate.

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#76 la_jeune_mariée


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Posted 21 January 2012 - 05:34 PM

Thanks Spesh smile.gif

Funny you should say that Ran as we're just waiting another week for him to hit the magic 5kgs to see how things go and then it's off for a sleep study. My GP and MCHN both agree it sounds physiological rather than psychological. He's a bad snorer so they want to check for apnea, adnoids etc. He's had a couple of episodes where he's set off the movement alarm and when I've grabbed him out of the bassinet he's been very deeply asleep and floppy.

I took my sleep diary into the clinic and had the nurse watch me put Leo down and had a big long chat and she doesn't believe I'm a candidate for tresillian as I'm doing everything they'd tell me to do with a 9 week old. It was encouraging as I was feeling like I was failing.

He's actually improved out of sight in the last 3 weeks. He's still an awful day sleeper and he's up 3+ times a night but 3+ is a million times better than 8+ and he has fallen into a predictable pattern both during the day and night. He's going down much more easily and he's otherwise such a happy little boy. This thread was a turning point for me as I pulled myself together afterwards and started with the sleep diary, saw the Osteo etc and it has helped enormously. Age and development probably played the most significant part in the improvement. I realised Thursday that I was actually tired. I'd been running off adrenalin and anxiety for so long I'd stopped feeling tired.

As for Mr. LJM, well he's still giving me the irrits and he's still an expert (today it was lots of helpful advice on latching as I gave Leo a new dummy yesterday and he decided he's decided he no longer wants to breastfeed. I should probably note that no, Mr. LJM has never breastfed a baby nor did he attend any of the classes with me so his expertise comes from the Encyclopedia of WTF) but now I'm less of a mess I'm more capable of burying my urge to roundhouse kick him in the face wink.gif

There has been more than one night Pooky where I gave him formula and pumped off ample breastmilk at 10pm just to get that additional 1 hours sleep. smile.gif

QUOTE(*MrsW* @ Jan 15 2012, 09:10 AM) View Post

And I bet next week at mothers group you will hear some other mums be honest. I was so grateful when one mum told the truth. I didn't feel like such a freak that I wasn't finding
Motherhood to be so perfect.

Yep. This week some other poor woman was the freak laugh.gif
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#77 Full of faith

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Posted 21 January 2012 - 07:18 PM

What a relief to hear that things are so much better. I have been checking in here regularly hoping to see an update. Try not to worry too much about the day sleeps. They seem to improve over time. I'm sure it must feel like an eternity away now but when he gets to 6 months things should be a lot more predictable.

My DH used to drive me mad suggesting that Ava was hungry every time she cried. Drove me bonkers, especially when I would give it a go just to shut him up and she would latch on and feed!!!

Keep us posted on any further developments.

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#78 ~steph~


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Posted 21 January 2012 - 07:59 PM

QUOTE(la_jeune_mariée @ Jan 21 2012, 05:34 PM) View Post

As for Mr. LJM, well he's still giving me the irrits and he's still an expert (today it was lots of helpful advice on latching as I gave Leo a new dummy yesterday and he decided he's decided he no longer wants to breastfeed. I should probably note that no, Mr. LJM has never breastfed a baby nor did he attend any of the classes with me so his expertise comes from the Encyclopedia of WTF) but now I'm less of a mess I'm more capable of burying my urge to roundhouse kick him in the face wink.gif

Sorry but I had to laugh.gif laugh.gif at this. Don't you love how the ones without the boobs are the ones with the most expertise!!!

I have been checking in here a bit to see if you had updated. So, so glad to hear things have improved. I always said with A (who was a crap day sleeper) that I could cope with bad days if only I had a decent night sleep. Does make days out a bit easier if you don't have to worry so much about day sleeps though!
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#79 ran



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Posted 21 January 2012 - 08:11 PM

Good to hear things are a little better LJM and hope that he keeps getting better and better

#80 Amelia Jane

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Posted 22 January 2012 - 11:41 AM

What a good update! I am very pleased to hear this. I am really glad he's been referred for a sleep study and you are being taken seriously. A physiological cause sounds like the most logical thing to me and I hope you can get to the bottom of it soon. How much sleep do you think he's getting in a day now? And how much are you getting?
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#81 Daybreak


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Posted 22 January 2012 - 04:29 PM

Stacey, I'm so glad to hear you're doing better. I was beginning to worry you'd thrown your husband out a window and were in trouble for doing so...
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#82 Jane Doe

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Posted 22 January 2012 - 06:00 PM

LJM, thank you so much for posting this, keeping us updated, and keeping it real.

I'm so glad things seemed to have turned a corner for you!

Having a bad sleeper is a big fear of mine, so I'm planning to keep this thread in mind if my little one decides to follow Leo's lead with sleeping. You've been given some great advice, and I'm sure it will help others long after Leo is sleeping through the night!

Hoping the testing comes back clear and Leo continues improving his sleep patterns.

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#83 CRose


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Posted 22 January 2012 - 09:07 PM

I just read this thread - glad you are getting help and that Leo is starting to sleep better, being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done and I still often spend a few hrs sobbing at least once a week and this is with an excellent sleeper this time round.

We have a wrap me up for DD2 and it has really made a difference to her sleep compared with DD1 - I tried not using it for a few days and she wouldn't sleep more than 20 mins. Also a fan of the baby whisperer.

Mr LJM sounds like a typical dad - something is wrong with my brain when it comes to helpful advice from my DH - it sounds like "you are doing it all wrong" and then I want to kick him smile.gif

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#84 tigz



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Posted 27 January 2012 - 12:20 PM

This thread should be pinned!

The initial weeks are a rollercoaster but the advice everyone has provided and your "plan of action" should be compulsory reading for every soon-to-be parent.

Congratulations on surviving and I hope little Leo continues to become more predictable (in a good way!).

#85 sarah2010


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Posted 27 January 2012 - 12:31 PM

Friends of ours had a baby girl about 2 weeks ago and I was flabbergasted to hear my husband on the phone when she was 5 days old giving the new father breastfeeding advice. I asked him after the call "I'm sorry - have you breastfed a child and if so, why hadn't you told me about this?"

And he replied "well seeings as I watched you do it, I know what I'm talking about"

Oh yes, because observation is completely identical to actually DOING it. NOT! I was fuming! I am horrified to think that this poor new dad would now be telling his wife how to do this and how to do that based on my husband's observations. (Especially given most of what we went through in the beginning he has admitted to hardly being able to remember thanks to 'lack of sleep')

I am glad things are improving for you xxx And I am glad it was someone else's turn at Mothers Group this week! biggrin.gif
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#86 FunkyMonkey



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Posted 27 January 2012 - 12:33 PM

So so glad to hear that things are starting to improve!! It makes a new mum's job so much harder when you can't figure out what's wrong.

And as for Mr LJM, it doesn't really change but you learn to deal with it better biggrin.gif.
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#87 Decembergirl


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Posted 27 January 2012 - 10:41 PM

Stacey I've just seen this now and I want to give you a massive hug. Leo must be neigh on 10 weeks old, which makes him about 12 weeks behind Anna. I applaud you whole heartedly for recognising something wasn't right and getting on to it. I know where you're coming from because until a fortnight ago Anna hadn't had more than 45 minutes day sleep on any given day. I persisted and hoped it would get better, which has lead to a rip roaring case of PND. Thank god you've got some help, and I pray that you can avoid the same outcome. I can report though, that after a stay at DAy Stay Sleep School last week, we're finally getting some day sleep. They didn't teach me anything I didn't already logically know, but just seeing someone else "do" it, made the world of difference.

Don't stress about being "that mum". I wasn't "that mum", I was the one who looked like she had it all together, and honestly, I wish I'd been strong enough to say I wasn't coping. Being "that mum" means you're being brutally honest, and that's the best thing you can do.

Breastfeeding took me 12 weeks to really get the hang of. I was doing it, but not enjoying it, or finding it a pleasant experience. I fed with shields the first 5 weeks, and ditching them was great, but I didn't really feel comfortable until Anna got a bit older, and I saw a fabulous Lactation Consultant.

You are NOT a freak. Please don't ever think that! As Windsor says, all the Mums at MG will be thanking their lucky stars you're the Mum asking all the questions they desperately want answers to, but aren't brave enough to ask. That was me to a tee.

Giant hugs.

QUOTE(Windsor @ Jan 11 2012, 10:20 PM) View Post

Don't worry about being 'that one' at MG. My most valued friend from mine told me she wanted to get to know me because I was the only one who said it was all crap whenever they asked us all how we were going.

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