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Is this enough to write off a photographer?


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#1 ~*Mrs P*~

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 12:59 PM

Tony and I are getting married in a small country town, in QLD. There aren't a huge choice of photographers to choose from... and I don't know if I'm being crazy or completely reasonable.. BUT!

There is an amazing wedding photographer available, who takes beautiful photos, for a good price... but I don't want them, because I dated her now husband in high-school....

Am I being a ridiculous BRIDEZILLA? unsure.gif that was more than 10 years ago, but he was my first.. and he left me for her... (my win, I know that now) but still?!?

Is writing off a wedding photographer because I dated her husband 11 years ago ridiculous, or totally acceptable?!? rolleyes.gif wacko.gif ph34r.gif laugh.gif

#2 aChocLover

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 01:23 PM


Does she know? Are you planning on telling her? Does he assist in anyway with her business? What are you concerned about? Him seeing you looking glamorous on your wedding day, or you seeing him?

I can understand the hesitation, but if she's really your best option, I wouldn't be letting the fact that you dated him in high school, get in the way of it all.

#3 ~*Mrs P*~

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 01:40 PM

QUOTE(aChocLover @ Dec 30 2011, 01:23 PM) View Post

Does she know? Are you planning on telling her? Does he assist in anyway with her business? What are you concerned about? Him seeing you looking glamorous on your wedding day, or you seeing him?

I can understand the hesitation, but if she's really your best option, I wouldn't be letting the fact that you dated him in high school, get in the way of it all.


She'd likely work it out as soon as she saw my name... I have no idea if he assists... and maybe I'm just being a bit dramatic, but I don't know if I'd feel comfortable, and maybe I'm worried that she won't be professional?

I lost my virginity to her husband... I dunno - that just seems weird to me... unsure.gif

I'm being a bridezilla, arent I .. rolleyes.gif laugh.gif blush.gif

Edited to add: he wasn't her husband at the time.... laugh.gif

#4 LoveSweetpea

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 03:02 PM

It wouldn't put me off. It was high school and 11 years ago, so I wouldnt have a problem with it.

(I might secretly be hoping he or she or both of them (if you even see him) had not aged well, and you'll never be looking better than on your wedding day, so that would be my hope ph34r.gif laugh.gif )
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#5 Jane Doe

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 03:17 PM

I probably wouldn't. Just for the weirdness factor.

There is so much going on on your wedding day that you may not notice any awkwardness at all, but then I personally probably wouldn't run that risk.

Could you arrange to meet with her and see how you get on beforehand? She might be completely lovely, and you could have a laugh over it, but if she is uptight, I'd steer clear.
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#6 Penny P Star

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 03:53 PM

QUOTE(LoveSweetpea @ Dec 30 2011, 04:02 PM) View Post

(I might secretly be hoping he or she or both of them (if you even see him) had not aged well, and you'll never be looking better than on your wedding day, so that would be my hope ph34r.gif laugh.gif )

Love it! laugh.gif

QUOTE(Kate S @ Dec 30 2011, 04:17 PM) View Post

Could you arrange to meet with her and see how you get on beforehand? She might be completely lovely, and you could have a laugh over it, but if she is uptight, I'd steer clear.

I think this sounds like a reasonable idea.

Honestly if it is going to make you feel a bit "funny" on your wedding day, I would look elsewhere for a photographer. But if you have the meetings first, all the "funniness" might be long gone before the wedding smile.gif

#7 indigo

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Posted 30 December 2011 - 08:27 PM

Not bridezilla at all. smile.gif I probably would look elsewhere - to spend all that money on a wedding and you want to be comfortable.... that's the important thing. smile.gif
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#8 toska

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Posted 31 December 2011 - 03:57 AM

At first I think the thought of it may make me feel weird, but it wouldn't stop me if that was the photographer I was set on.

I think you should meet her and see if you feel comfortable with her or not, only then will you really know if you want a different photographer. Good luck!

#9 Babybelle

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Posted 31 December 2011 - 07:35 AM

I agree with the other girls about arranging a meeting before u book her and see how u feel. You should be meeting with ur photographer before u book them anyway so it's not like that will be a strange request.

As for whether it's bridezilla to think about not having her because of ur history I wouldnt think so. If it were me, I'd probably be uncomfortable with HER being there on my wedding day (rather than him) given that she was the one who broke up ur relationship all those years ago. I know it's been awhile & uv obviously moved on, but stealing another girls boyfriend is a big no-no that id never forgive dry.gif
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#10 katels

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Posted 31 December 2011 - 08:22 AM

The last thing you want is to look uncomfortable in your photos.... If you feel this may be the case I wouldn't be hiring them.

Meeting them is a great idea, then you will get an idea as to what it might feel like on the day. smile.gif

And no, definately not a bridezilla moment! tongue.gif
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#11 Kerala

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Posted 31 December 2011 - 01:21 PM

I don't know where you live, but lots of amazing photographers will travel to different locations (might cost a little more I imagine).


I think you would be better to find someone else and remove all possibility of their being awkwardness, it just is not worth it on your wedding day.

I say this based on their being no other partners between you and her, if there was it might be different.

Trust your gut and don't risk your photos. She might be ok with it, but obviously on some leve you aren't or you wouldn't be posting here!! All the best!!
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#12 CaseyT

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Posted 03 January 2012 - 12:42 PM

Like the other girls said, have a meeting first, you might really hit it off, after all it has been 11 or so years. And you are in a happy place about to get married the man you love. No one is saying you have to commit to her if you do have a meeting.
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#13 chelley

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Posted 03 January 2012 - 04:43 PM

I probably would skip her if you could find another fantastic photographer willing to travel.

However if you can't remember will look gorgeous on your wedding day, it has been a long time in passing and if you meet her before hand it may work out perfectly.
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#14 CaseyT

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Posted 05 January 2012 - 09:20 AM

Agreed with Chelley, lot of water under the bridge, but you can take some small satisfication you will look better than her on the day.
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#15 ~*Mrs P*~

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Posted 05 January 2012 - 03:14 PM

It's not an issue I have with her - I just wish her husband would get hit by a bus wink.gif

Thanks for all the responses ladies, I've decided to spread my wings a little more, and found a photographer willing to travel..




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