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Is this the end of my BFing journey?


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#1 squeaza

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Posted 04 December 2011 - 09:01 PM

We've been very lucky and have had a very trouble-free time breastfeeding, apart from complete bottle-refusal that made being back working rather difficult for a few months!

For a while now we've only been on morning and night-time feeds, and I was planning to just keep those going as long as he and I and my supply were happy to continue.

Just the last few weeks he's been crazy when feeding - he still definitely wants it - he sees my boobs after his bath and comes hurtling after me for his bedtime feed, but he's been doing what we call 'extreme feeding' biggrin.gif where he tries to crawl and climb and do headstands etc. all the time sucking away.

Just the last few nights he's been very fussy - sucking furiously for a bit, then popping up and having a chat, then back on, off again, poke my nipples a bit, try to open my shirt to get at the other side, crawl over my head etc. etc. biggrin.gif and it's getting rather tiring. Tonight he had a go on each side for a bit but seemed very frustrated. When I squeeze there's still plenty coming out, but he was getting very grizzly so we gave him about 100mls in a sippy cup (of cows milk) and he grabbed it, grinned, and chugged it down in no time at all, then chucked a mighty Woe-Is-Me tantrum when we had to take the cup off him to refill it.

I don't know if I don't have as much milk as he wants, or if he's just too big and busy to be bothered working hard to get it out any more.

In some ways I'm happy to finish BFing now, but in other ways I'm so sad sad.gif I've loved cuddling up to him, especially the few months where he'd doze off with me in the morning while feeding if I were tired. If was something that felt so natural to be doing right from day 1, which I didn't expect at all, and I don't really know how to let go.

I'm going to still give him a few feeds for the next few days and then some milk in the sippy cup, but I know if he starts drinking more cows milk my milk will probably dry up completely.

Is it best to phase out one at a time, or if it's only 2 small feeds can I go cold turkey?

I've still got a few feeds of BM in the freezer so I'll probably give them to him over the next week and then that'll be it sad.gif
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#2 jantastic

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Posted 04 December 2011 - 09:16 PM

QUOTE(squeaza @ Dec 4 2011, 09:01 PM) View Post

In some ways I'm happy to finish BFing now, but in other ways I'm so sad sad.gif


This was me. I was even more happy than you though - I was dancing around the room at the thought of not bfing anymore, as expressing at work, then again at home at night to get enough for one day feed was really getting me down. Then not having to wake up extra early for the morning day feed, yep, awesome. The THOUGHT of getting rid of L's last feed - his night feed... yep, awesome, so ready... but the reality was different. I was pulled up in my tracks as I didn't feel ready. But, with only one feed per day, and using shields, I just didn't feel that I had the supply he needed. And yes, I cried after our last feed. I'm happy to be past that part of our journey though, and proud that we got so far.

It's so hard once you start questioning your supply - and I know that you had a long time with an oversupply too, so even if your supply is normal and he fusses at normal, that could 'feel' like an undersupply in a way in comparison (if that makes sense)...

If he's happy to feed (slash ninja-kick your face, slash cartwheel around the room, slash play drums on your forehead) and you're happy feeding him, as long as he's resting happily afterwards, I really believe you'll be fine. If you look at how much calcium they should be getting at 13-14 months, it's around 500mg, which in cows/goats milk is around 500ml. So if he's getting (say) three feeds per day off you, all he needs to be getting is 500ml per day, even less if he eats any cheese/yoghurt/extra milk on his food. It's not much. If he's decided that sleep/happiness have gone out the window then maybe re-evaluate, but don't give up when you're not ready yet because your son has turned into Mister Helicopter Arms, if you're happy to deal with it.

Hope that helps smile.gif

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#3 L C

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Posted 04 December 2011 - 09:37 PM

Toddler feeding, I've discovered, is a whole new kettle of fish smile.gif More like gymnastic feeding!

My DD's preferred way of feeding now is both boobs out and to swap between the two, multiple times rolleyes.gif laugh.gif The one she's not feeding from seems to be her new favourite toy, too wacko.gif

He may be back to loving it and actually pay attention next week, you never know.

If you're both still happy with toddler-gymnastic- feeding, then it's all good. If you feel you've had enough, then that's ok, too wub.gif



#4 Porthos

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Posted 04 December 2011 - 09:46 PM

Louisa, what an amazing breastfeeding 'go' you've had!! Kudos!!

If you decide it *is* time to let feeding go, I'd say you'd be right to go cold turkey. With both of mine (having morning and night feeds only in the end) I went cold turkey and it was fine. Perhaps a tad uncomfortable for a day or two but that's it.

I completely missed my last feed with Cate as she weaned herself...she just never went back on the breast. I was quite sad that I hadn't been paying attention. With Seamus I was very careful with our last two feeds...I wanted to remember and appreciate them. Our second to last feed was a lovely, long 40 minute job (highly unusual by that stage) and he slept for three hours afterwards - such a beautiful way to finish (because I thought it was the last feed). Five days later he woke at 5.30am after a horror night and, without thinking, I put him to the breast where he stayed happily for about 20 mins. When he finished I knew I'd been 'suckered' (for want of a better word) into that last feed and that we were done...but still, I was paying attention!! wink.gif biggrin.gif

Good luck smile.gif

#5 chelley

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 06:54 AM

BFing a toddler is very different. I BF Aurelia till almost 17 months. I found I had to get her to settle otherwise I put the boobs away. She learnt that it wasn't a game. She was climbing all over me, up and down, on and off and i got a bit fed up. Once I reinforced focusing on feeding she calmed down and it turned out to be just a phase.

You may find the same.However if you are ready to give up then I don't think anyone would say that is a bad thing.
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#6 Maxi

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 07:05 AM

I finished breastfeeding A three weeks ago, at the age of 22 months.

I was lucky in that I didn't know it was my last feed. I had to go on two types of antibiotics which weren't safe for the little one.

We'd tried a month earlier to wean her with no success (plenty of gymnastics here too!).

What I did was have my husband go out in the car with her and they'd go somewhere and then they'd pick me up from home. She was out of the routine of seeing me when she awoke and really it was a lot easier than I thought. She was just excited to see me, not my breasts!

I thought I'd have massive problems adjusting (emotionally) but it was really ok.

She still tries to put her hand down my top - a lot - but that's ok, she does it to my husband too!
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#7 Shellsibelle

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 08:24 AM

You have done an awesome job breastfeeding for this long! wub.gif I "part-time" BF my boys until they were 5 months and whilst I knew it was time to stop, I still felt really sad about it. Considering at the start I thought that BF them until six weeks was a huge task, getting to five months was a great triumph! They were starting solids, were only having one 'snack' BF a day in the mornings, and even then weren't getting much milk at all in the end. I made sure at their last feed that I really soaked it all in - I watched them feed, stroked their beautiful soft cheeks, squished their chubby legs, really soaked in how it felt and how it looked, took a few photos blush.gif and just took it all in. I shed a few tears but the next day when they didn't get booby they didn't even notice! That made it a bit easier. But even now a month later I still miss it. When you do stop, just make sure you get in the lovely cuddles despite no BF - it will make it easier on you!

Oh and I went cold turkey with no issues, though I was only down to one feed per day.

Good luck!! xox
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#8 Myst

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 02:03 PM

I have a 14 month old gymnast too – what fun!!

I think that if you are ready to be done with it and that is what feels right to you then go for it. I still feed A on demand really and TBH it is more for comfort these days than anything else. We have a good balance that works for us ATM where she has cow’s milk for her night feed and a BF for her morning (and any others in between). She is happy to take the cow’s milk so if I want a day off I just have one but if I took the boob away completely I think she would have a meltdown.

If you wanted to see how you go you could just give E the cow’s milk at night and BF him in the morning. I find in the AM that A is nowhere near as active and is happy to have a sleepy, snugly feed which is nice. Good luck with your decision.

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#9 squeaza

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Posted 06 December 2011 - 11:57 PM

Thank you all for the kind words! It's comforting to know that I don't have the only super-active feeder around!

After writing this the other night, the next morning's feed was much calmer, and this morning we had a lovely 20-minute snuggle feed in bed. It's the night-time's that are difficult - he's always been quite hyper and wants to climb and read books etc. etc. etc. so I'll persevere for another few days and if he's still all over the place I think I'll replace that one with a bottle of milk. At the moment with all the shenanigans I doubt he's drinking much so dropping it wouldn't affect my supply to much I guess.

I'm kind of looking forward to a bit of freedom from the morning/night thing, but at the same time love feeding him wub.gif Oh well, if it's coming to an end at least I'm getting a chance to savour it at the moment.
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#10 -Megs-

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Posted 07 December 2011 - 06:37 AM

Oh yes, lots of gymnastics and booby swapping here too, I try and do morning and night feeds in bed, I lay in the middle, boobs out and just let all the gymnastics happen laugh.gif They have another 1 or 2 quick feeds during the day that also tend to be gymnastic events.

#11 samante

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Posted 08 December 2011 - 05:45 AM

I fed my daughter until 20 months, and for a few months before that she was so distracted at bedtime that I had to give up at night. It was getting so frustrating, not at all relaxing for either of us. I ended up giving her milk in a cup with a straw, and continued to feed her morning and afternoon for another few months.

Towards the end, I thought every feed would be her last. I was sad when it ended, I really wanted to make it until she was 2. But after 20 months of shields, she was done.


#12 Decembergirl

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 10:40 PM

I saw this today and because I'm such a sticky beak, I'm curious, is Eddie still feeding?
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#13 squeaza

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 10:55 PM

Stickybeak good. Without stickybeak, forum die (so said Confucius, or some other wise guy).

I just wrote in this thread: http://community.i-d...o...=150673&hl= wink.gif

Still on one feed a day at bedtime, but he doesn't mind if I'm not there for it if I'm out working.

Interestingly, for the First Time Ever, he comfort sucked on the weekend, when he was really sick ohmy.gif I never know what other people were talking about, because he was always a 'yes, done now, now want to do something more interesting' feeder, and the other day I suddenly could tell that he wasn't drinking but was just sucking instead, and sure enough, 2 seconds later he was asleep on me wub.gif
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#14 Decembergirl

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Posted 15 March 2012 - 11:46 PM

Good to hear. smile.gif Anna is a fan of the comfort suck if she's feeling a bit off, but usually, like Eddie, she's all business. Still sometimes that extra cuddle is just what's needed.
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