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Religious differences between family members


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#1 abbycat

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 12:07 PM

I come from a non-religious family, however my husband's grandfather was a minister and his family are all very involved in the church. It hasn't really been an issue in our relationship or our relationship with his family so far. There's never been any pressure on me to go to church or criticism for not being religious (that I know of anyway). There's been the odd snide comment made by my husband's brother about him not attending church anymore, but that's about it.

However, I'm wondering if issues will arrive once we have children.

I'm just wondering if differences in religion between family members had lead to any issues in other peoples' lives. If so, how have you dealt with it?

#2 Thelma

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 02:03 PM

not myself personally. But I a friend of mine regularly attended Church growing up and then no longer did for a while. During this time she met and married her now husband. She now has a couple of kids, and since having kids she has re-evaluated her life and wants to start taking her kids to Church. This has caused a bit of friction between her and her husband unfortunately.

So yes, it can happen. Not sure what you can do about it though. My friend is still fumbling through and trying to work it out.

#3 hanes

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 03:21 PM

My MIL is very religious. She's Catholic and goes to church every Sunday and has very strong opinions on her family attending church. Both my husband and his sister went to good Catholic schools and my dh was even an alter boy.

Me. Im not very religious. I had a name giving as a child and my family never went to church. I dont see it as important. I do however, believe in God.

My husband and I have had the occasional issue, although nothing major. I didnt mind getting married in a Catholic church but I chose not to become a Catholic (much to my MIL's dismay). We have never regularly attended church. My husband works shift work and it just isnt conducive for regular church attendence.

Once our children came along, I was happy for them to be part of the Catholic faith. But I did warn my husband that they probably weren't going to be staunch Catholics, since I wasnt.

But even though I wasnt going to go to church regularly, I was happy for him to take the children. I was happy to have them baptised in the Catholic faith, but I was not happy, however, to have his mother dictate how the christening would occur and who attended. As a result I don't have fond memories of our children's christenings (although this is more of an in-law issue rather than a religious conflict).

We have both decided that our children may not attend Catholic schools. I am a big supporter of public education and want this for my children. At least in the primary years.

As it is now, we rarely go to church except for family events. Both kids are a bit of a nightmare to take out to church. We usually spend most of the service outside.

My MIL has tried to take Annabelle to church a few times, but she's really not that interested. And my MIL expects her to sit and behave, as opposed to using the crying rooms and then complains to us that she was naughty rolleyes.gif.

I think for couples, it's important to talk about religious expectations early on. Especially when it comes to children. I was upfront with my husband before our wedding that I wasnt converting and I wasnt a huge fan of the Catholic religion, although I was ok with our children following the faith. I think at the back of his mind, he did see us regularly attending church with the children. But I also think that now reality has set in and even on the days he's off, and I've brought up the possiblity of him going to church with his mother and the children he usually dismisses it.




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