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Old MrsB - I'm back!


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#1 *H*

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 09:08 AM

Hey everyone,

Seems I have had a long time between logging in and have been deactivated!

I first joined I-do in 2004 in the lead up to my wedding and met may wonderful people... Moved to the UK... had two beautiful babies and my husband and I were heading home this year. I came home first and he was following later in the year after getting his promotion.... bad move I think.

He has now decided to stay in the UK and our marriage is over.

I think I have come out the other side of the grief and pure loss and are able to cope much better than a few months ago but watching my children sad and cry for their Dad hurts so much sad.gif

My 3 year old is really struggling without his Dad sad.gif and is using his bad behaviour to show me how he feels. We have been here without their Dad since January but he seems to be struggling more and more. He tells me he doesnt have a Daddy, that Daddy doesnt want to talk to him, that he has lost his Daddy and that he is sad sad.gif I'm literally at my wits end... I just dont know how to help him. Their Dad speaks to them most days on skype - 5 minutes ducking out of work, sends pictures and emails, postcards etc. He is trying and we are amicable. But the fact he is 24 hours away on a plane and we are in total opposite time zones does not help one bit...........

My daughter is one... we came when she was only 6 months so unfortunetly she will never truely know what it is like to have a Dad around sad.gif and skype as a means of communication will be normal for her.

I just dont know what I can do to help my son? sad.gif I can deal with me... my kids are my priority obviously and its breaking my heart seeing him so upset constantly...

How did others cope with this?

Thanks girls,

Hayley xx

#2 aChocLover

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 09:45 AM


Hi *H* ((((Hugs))))
I couldn't read and not post. I hope things get better for you and your son. xx
I hope some of the lovely ladies here can offer some advice.

#3 MsGems

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 09:53 AM

Hi H, I think I remember you.
So sorry to hear about your current situation. I can't offer any advice, but I am thinking of you.

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#4 jantastic

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 09:56 AM

Another with no help but a sympathetic ear here.

I'm sorry to heart your little one is missing his dad and taking it out on you. Perfectly understandable though.

Perhaps there is a councillor for kids going through this sort of family breakdown?

I hope someone here can help you.

development is a journey, not a race

#5 *H*

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 04:05 PM

Thank you girls for your virtual hugs smile.gif

I would love to know if anyone else has had the same kind of situation with their kids.... and how they helped them through it at such a young age?

Thanks xxxx

#6 MsGems

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Posted 27 September 2011 - 04:48 PM

My Little Miss has never had a father around, and she's still a happy little girl - she doesn't know any different I guess.
Although as she gets older, she'll probably start wondering who this 'dad' person is that your son talks about.

I'd suggest contacting a counsellor, or even have a chat to your GP as they may be able to give you a referral, as to how to approach the situation with your son.
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#7 bmee

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Posted 18 October 2011 - 09:11 AM

Hey Heyley. I’ve not got any advice to be honest. I’m not a Mum, despite my own efforts, but can understand that there will be some transition for yourself, your daughter and your son. This is quite a difficult time and you all need to stick together.

It sounds like the kids have been through a lot of different transitions – I mean, obviously the breakdown of your marriage, then the loss of a parent and moving back here. That is a lot for an adult to transition into let alone children. How long have you been back home for?

As difficult as it sounds I would probably just let your son know that his behaviour isn’t acceptable and try and just give him the comfort and support to get through this part of his life. I know that it’s a massive load to carry as you would be going through a tremendous amount of loss, grief, anger and heartbreak I would imagine. If you feel the best thing for you and the kids is to see a counsellor or GP then this is what you need to do.

There is no right or wrong answer here. You just need to keep doing what your doing. Things will get easier. This I promise. If you need anything PM me





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