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Tell me your toilet training story...


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#1 AK2

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 08:46 AM

So, oh women wiser than me, tell me how you toilet trained your little one.

We've finally gotten around to putting DS in real undies (he's been showing the 'signs' for a while and I've been busy pregnant/with a newborn). He was in undies yesterday and today, so far he's only had accidents and hasn't actually successfully done anything on the toilet. I'm frustrated, I feel like if he'll just do something on the toilet I can make a big song and dance out of it and he'll get the idea- if I can just catch him in time!

I've been carrying him to the toilet, but I don't know what the right frequency is- every 15 minutes? Every 30? What signs do they tend to show when they need to go?

Please help!!

#2 tastebud

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 09:34 AM

My GF (mum of two boys, one girl) told me to not even bother until my son was 3yo. She said it was the difference between taking several weeks and perhaps one.

I did a few trial runs before then and it was obvious he wasn't ready - despite showing "signs".

I waited till he was 3yo + Summer time, and it took less than a week. I had decided once we went to undies properly there would be no going back to nappies. At least, during the day.

I also don't believe in using a potty. Straight onto the porcelain wink.gif An inner-seat is helpful if really needed. Just my story.

My daughter is 2 and 2 months and I will test the waters come summer time. If she doesn't take to it, I will back off and let her initiate from there.

Another tip I was given and was also helpful for us -

...start a day or two before their kindy days so kindy can reinforce the process.
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#3 mango

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 10:05 AM

We aren't a success case yet, but we have had issues along the way.
We started the way daycare suggested and that was putting him on the toilet at nappy changes and when he started going more frequently move to undies. Still take him frequently ( maybe hourly, you will start to work it out better once he starts going on the potty/toilet), lots of praise when he wees in the potty, lots of praise if his nappy is dry.

Potty/toilet debate: we did both, sometimes he wants to sit on one over the other but we have had no issues when out and about, he'll use bwhatever is available. He can sit on a big toilet with/without insert if one is about or if we going to a park or something and no toilet facilities we can take the potty. Best of both worlds.

#4 sunshine

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 10:48 AM

patience.


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#5 VictoriaK

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE(AK2 @ Sep 13 2011, 08:46 AM) View Post

So, oh women wiser than me, tell me how you toilet trained your little one.

We've finally gotten around to putting DS in real undies (he's been showing the 'signs' for a while and I've been busy pregnant/with a newborn). He was in undies yesterday and today, so far he's only had accidents and hasn't actually successfully done anything on the toilet. I'm frustrated, I feel like if he'll just do something on the toilet I can make a big song and dance out of it and he'll get the idea- if I can just catch him in time!

I've been carrying him to the toilet, but I don't know what the right frequency is- every 15 minutes? Every 30? What signs do they tend to show when they need to go?

Please help!!


I could've written your post word for word and TBH Aidan has just started wearing undies the last week and has only had 2 accidents in that week. I tried to train as per ECHN rewccomendation in the summer after hge turned 2 but with having a newborn he was not interested. Then tried AGAIN 6 MONTHS AGO and he went running scared from the undies so again i took that as a sign that he wasnt ready. I was advised to try him wiothout a nappy/undies and just put his shorts/pants on, still he wet, so still not ready. He turned 3 on 28th August and i kept thinking he has to be ready soon. Cut to Thursday 2 weeks ago and i rock up to pre-school to pick him up and find him with no nappy on. When i asked what was going on they said they had taken his nappy off after rest time and had been encouraging him to use the toilet, and he had not had one single accident. It was then i knew he was ready and since then he has been in undies. I sent him in undies last week to pre-school and all day he told them he wanted the toilet and had no accidents. I am glad i waited now till he was really ready not just a little bit ready. He had delayed speech too so has been unable to communicate his need for the toilet before now aswell, i feel its very important for a child to be able to communicate the need for the toilet otherwise its a pointless exercise. Honestly i do believe boys are slower than girls in this field and if he is having more accidents than going to the toilet then he probably isnt ready, also he is probably still adapting to the new baby so i would leave it a little longer

QUOTE(tastebud @ Sep 13 2011, 09:34 AM) View Post

My GF (mum of two boys, one girl) told me to not even bother until my son was 3yo. She said it was the difference between taking several weeks and perhaps one.

.


Agree with this. We have used a potty in the last 6 months on and off, which he did use most the time, but fully using toilet/wearing undies, definately closer to 3 but JMO. Now at 3 it only has taken him a week to get the hang of using the toilet ALL THE TIME
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#6 Jaydee

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 12:13 PM

From about 2 1/2 Levi was showing signs of readiness- knowing when he was about to do a wee, etc- so initially I'd just pop him in undies when we went outside each day and he'd get the idea not to wee in them.

Fast forward a few weeks and we progressed to wees on the toilet- I think I gave him a sticker each time he did a wee on the toilet, and when he was doing 99% of wees on the toilet we went shopping for special Wiggles undies. I would just ask him frequently if he needed to do a wee- with the rule that he had to do a wee before rest time, and before getting in the car. And I never bothered with a potty as it seemed more practical IMO to get him used to the toilet from the start, not start with a potty and then introduce the toilet. JMO though.

Poos on the toilet, he was more reluctant, so we gave it time- and some bribery with a Thomas train ph34r.gif Made a song and dance about being able to have a look at his poo in the toilet rolleyes.gif - and once he was doing 99% of poos on the toilet we went and bought some special undies.

Then we had a regression- apparently quite common with boys. Lots of accidents and he was quite upset about it all so I put him in nappies for about three weeks- he was asking for nappies and not at all interested in undies. At the end of those few weeks he told me his bum didn't like nappies anymore laugh.gif and he's been in undies ever since- including huge day trips out. ETA: He decided his bum didn't like nappies anymore a month or so before he turned 3.

Bee- at nearly 25 months- has just started becoming aware of when she needs to do a wee (well that, and dancing around the house saying "pooey poo" rolleyes.gif ) so I've started the same way, sitting on the toilet and then undies on before we go outside. She's quite pleased with her undies.

All very much no pressure, 'in your own time', here.

#7 liza_jane79

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 12:26 PM

will be watching this thread with interest... so many mums ask me is he toilet training yet and when i say no they seem shocked... he only turned two in July?? and is far from ready... he tells me 30 times a day he's pooed and he only goes once a day!!

I listened to one of those parenting experts at an expo and she said until the child recognises the urge to go AND can communicate that to you then there is no point, as you're only stressing them and you out. Like Jaydee we will try on the loo rather than the potty, rather than have to phase out the potty too. Hopefully in warmer weather we can do some nappy free time and see how it goes
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#8 ~ela~

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 02:26 PM

I am glad this thread has come up. Ethan has shown a few signs he is interested in the toilet, and we have purchased the Thomas insert, the licensed undies that I despise, I have small incentive gifts ready for when there is success. He wears his undies over his nappy and he is pretty excited about that. I have just been trying to push the toilet issue a little, but I know it takes time. It’s extremely hard when working with a child that has such a small number of words in his vocabulary. It’s one thing if I think he is actually ready, and another for him to be able to communicate he needs to go.

Ethan aside, I have had two kids in nappies for 14 months and it’s wearing me down ph34r.gif - the constant changing and the cost. Now that Spring has hit, Ethan is 3 in January, and we spend a lot of time outside my plan is to move to undies for day times and see where it leads. If he hates it, then I will try him a few weeks later, again and again.

I can’t stand the idea of a potty, but that’s just me. I already have a toilet to clean, I don’t want a little one too. laugh.gif

What has helped with his interest in the toilet is very much monkey see monkey do - at daycare he is curious about the toilet, when we or guests go to the toilet, or he follows his friends to the toilet at Mothers Group. I think all this is fine and I am actually encouraging it.

I have spoken to a heap of people about girls vs. boys, the age they ‘should’ be trained, how to go about it etc. Every single person has said they had their girl generally trained by/at 2, where as the boys were closer to 3 before interested and 3.5 before going to the toilet.

I have asked his speechie about toilet training and her advice was just to try the undies and see how he goes, he may actually like being in them like his friends. She said he will find a way to let me know he needs to go, even if it means he drags me by my hand to the toilet.

Sorry Amy off track for a q - for those with kids not talking much but have kids trained, how did your kids communicate to you that they need to go?

ETA - I am worried I am going to have to spend Summer sitting on the toilet floor, Ethan on the toilet, trying to keep Lucas out of it! Please someone tell me it's not that bad..

#9 AK2

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 02:56 PM

So glad to hear that I'm not alone!

I'm going to keep persevering for a while longer, when he has an accident he seems genuinely surprised, 'What's this weird stuff running down my legs?'. He loves wearing undies, when I went in to him this morning he was naked, and handed me his nappy saying 'It was wet' and then 'Wear Undies!'.

Thankfully we've got a tiled house so accidents are not too big of a deal, and I could do with an excuse to buy a new couch ph34r.gif

Like Victoria & Ela, he goes to the toilet at daycare and has done wees on the toilet there, so I'm guessing there's a bit of peer pressure there too?

I was going to wait because of the newborn, but he doesn't seem to have any problems with the new baby- he hasn't changed any of his behaviors at all since we bought the baby home, so I don't think I have that excuse happy.gif

At the moment, I'm setting an alarm for every 25 minutes, and when the alarm goes off there is a loud duck quack, and he knows it's time to sit on the toilet (even down to the alarm went off while I was upstairs with the baby, I came downstairs, and he was on the loo, telling me the duck had quacked!').

If he gets through two 25 minute lots I start shortening the time between 'quacks'- hopefully I'll catch something soon, although I did go out of the house on purpose today so we could both have a bit of a break! laugh.gif

For the record- we are also doing the normal toilet with an insert & step stool so he can get up and down on his own.

In general though, I'm encouraged that boys toilet train later and maybe all I've got to do is just wait. I'm going to give it a shot until the end of the week, and if there's still no success, then I'll give up and try again closer to summer.

#10 mango

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE(~ela~ @ Sep 13 2011, 02:26 PM) View Post

Sorry Amy off track for a q - for those with kids not talking much but have kids trained, how did your kids communicate to you that they need to go?

This has been one of our big hurdles. His communication has really started to improve and hes able to articulate what he needs and wants, where before he couldn't tell me what he wanted he would just get flusted. So to start with it didn't matter I was timing between times to go to the loo, as he was getting it I slowly spacing out the time between takes. He has never really told me he needs to go, just has an accident (sometimes he will tell me then other times not). I then started to ask him to go when he would ask me for something. then I have started to ask if he needs to go and if hes wet or dry (he can answer that). Only now (like last couple of days) he has asked me to go to the toilet or he has used they potty on his own, that coincides with me trying a stamp chart again. I also now ask him to go before meals. It has been long process and we have many regressions at different times. I'm hopeful we are going to get there this time round.

#11 ~Emma~

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 05:14 PM

I tried a few times, but this loast time has clicked. We had a short stint back in nappies while in hospital, but we are now succesfully 100% undies for awake time (day sleeps and overnight stiull have nappies)

Soph was showing all signs since about 19 months, and i tried then where it failed, then i tried again when she just turned 2, and again we failed. Cause ex and i were seperated and she was going back and forth, i just left her in nappies, but she kept asking me for undies,s o one day, i put her in undies, and she had zero accidents! She is still so excigted about it, and is sweet with wees and poos.. Sometimes though (usually after poos) she cries for a new pair of undies... i can deal with this for now.

She told me the other day that she wears undies at mums house, and knickers at dads!!! i thought thsi was awesome!!!

#12 ~steph~

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 05:35 PM

Honestly??? wait. We tried H at 2 and a half, and it was just a mass of wee everywhere. I was then due with A so it took a backseat for a little while. We tried again at 2 years and 11 months and we were done in a weekend with only one accident!!! He has been spot on since. I honestly
don't think he was mature enough to toilet train before then. He just got it the second time we did it and there was only one mess to clean up before he was officially toilet trained.

We are leaving A till the start of next year when he will be close to three and hoping he follows the same path. We will try if it works great, if not we will put the nappies back on and try again in a month.

The advice we got from daycare was to go straight to the toilet (why swap cleaning a nappy with a potty???). Once having success don't go back to nappies during the day and don't use pull ups as it is just the same as a nappy and quite often confuses the kids.

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#13 Jaydee

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 08:18 PM

QUOTE(~ela~ @ Sep 13 2011, 02:26 PM) View Post

ETA - I am worried I am going to have to spend Summer sitting on the toilet floor, Ethan on the toilet, trying to keep Lucas out of it! Please someone tell me it's not that bad..


Let him pee on the grass laugh.gif

#14 VictoriaK

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 09:52 PM

ELA to answer your question, i would just leave the potty out and A would be with nappy, he would just gp straight on the potty when needed, because of his lack of speech though it never worked when we were out and abOut and without fail he would wet his pants. NOw he is age appropriate for speech, he has had an explosion in the last 3 mOnths he can tell us anything, so now when he needs to go he says "wee wee toilet" or "poo poo toilet". He has just gone straight to toilet, he hasnt used potty in months. The only reason i used potty was so he could use the toilet whenever he wanted without telling us cause he couldnt
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#15 scasey77

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Posted 14 September 2011 - 05:17 PM

I TT Cate at 2 years, 3 months I think. It took her about 4 days to get the hang of weeing on the potty with minimal accidents but longer for her to initiate and take herself.

For the first morning I was asking her to sit every 30min but guaranteed she would do nothing on the potty only to get up and wee 5min later. She was getting agitated sitting on the potty that often so I pushed it out to a every hour and that seemed to fit better.

We had lots of accidents for the first 3 days but then on the arvo of the 3rd day, just a split second before she did a wee she said "oh wee". It was like that was a turning point for her in actually recognising the feeling before it happened rather than when/as it was happening. From then on she was able to "wee on command" so to speak. So I would ask her to sit on the potty every 1.5 hours or so and she would wee.

It prob took her 4-5 weeks to completely initiate going to the toilet. Prior to that she would sometimes go on her own but mostly it was me asking her if she needed to go (sometimes she did and sometimes she didn't).

I will say though that we had just gotten to a good point at the 6 week mark and she had a HUGE regression. It is pretty normal by all accounts. We were back to having 5 accidents a day and minimal wees on the toilet. We had to go right back to basics in terms of offering rewards etc. It prob took her a good 4-5 weeks to get back to where we were pre -regression but it was only a week or so of bad accidents.

One thing that worked really well for us was setting the kitchen timer to go off every hour in the beginning. I told her that whent he bell went "ding" it was time to try and see if there was any wees. She was so excited when the timer went off that it helped I think.

Also, rewards. Smarties worked best for us. 1 for a wee and 2 for a poo.
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