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Family issues, have you extended an olive branch?

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#1 Becca13


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Posted 19 August 2011 - 09:27 AM

A background story, DH has not spoken to his parents in about 18 months.
DH had a falling out with his brother, his parents chose to take a side (not DH's) and a result he has cut ties with them.
Fast forward to yesterday and DH gets a phone call from his uncle to say his SIL Dad has passed away and they thought he should know, she lost her mum about 4 years ago so now she has no parents living.
What I think is that DH's uncle is trying to get DH to talk to his parents again, I actually saw them about 2 weeks ago and they passed me about 4 meters away and we ignored each other, I have nothing to say and obviously they have nothing to say to me either.

In that 18 months we have sold our house, built a new one (not told them), basically changed our whole life and right now things have never been better

DH is obviously confused and doesn't know what to do, I told him whatever he chooses to do is up to him, but it is his choice (and to be honest it won't change my standing in the situation, I still won't talk to them if he chooses to, but I didn't tell him that).

This has gone so far now the damage is done, not sure if it's repairable or not, how can a family not talk for 18 months and then try and pick up like nothing happened? I don't think i'd be able to and I think their treatment of my DH and DS is unforgivable, but thats just me.

DH was told about 18 months ago that he was not to be in their house while his brother was there, nothing like your parents choosing one child over the other, is there?

In a similar situation would you or have you extended an olive branch?

#2 Becca13


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Posted 19 August 2011 - 08:45 PM

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#3 aChocLover


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Posted 19 August 2011 - 09:07 PM

We are estranged from one of DH's brother's & his family. The ILs openly attacked us/defended them when it all came to a head. 2 years on, and the family is starting to see DH's brother's partner for what she really is. Not sure whether we'll ever patch it up - but it is moreso them keeping the distance despite repeat efforts from the rest of the family.

In your instance, not knowing all the details it's really hard to know what I would do - but I think in all honesty, if it wasn't going to be soul-destroying, I would extend the olive branch - just in case. I wouldn't include or reintroduce DS if it were me, they don't deserve that privelege and foremost, you need to protect him. If it didn't work out, I would walk away and know that I tried.

Good luck deciding what to do.

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