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Does your little boy engage in much 'rough' play?


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#1 Channy

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 08:12 AM

Hello,

Just a disclaimer - I come from a family of girls & I was a complete tea party princess, pink wearing dainty girl, so little boys are still a bit of an engima to me tongue.gif

Aidan is nearly 2.5. He has always been a very boyish, rough and tumble kid. Loves being chased, swung around, held upside, etc etc. He engages in some quiet time, reading books and cuddles teddies at bedtime..but for the most part it is high paced running around or games with trains/cars that involve crashes etc.

In the last few weeks I have noticed that with certain little friends (boys) they are now engaging in rough play. So chasing, tackling, wrestling style, crashing into each other etc. Took me by suprise the first time when I visited a friend and the 2 boys were pretty rough with each other. In this case, Aidan was the ring leader and the other boy the follower. I was unsure if I should get Aidan to stop or not? Then 2 days later he played with one of his best little mates (who are pretty much on the same level ie - very active, loud, rough) and they played the same. But both loving it and just enjoying it. I have been told that him and his friend at daycare do the same.

ok - so after that ramble, I guess what are the guidelines? When do you intervene? I always correct him if there is pushing, but is the rest ok?? I don't want to 'cotton wool' him, but at the same time I'm not sure if this is encouraging him to be rough??

Help!

Channy
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#2 ~steph~

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 08:51 AM

Personally I let my two go so long as both are enjoying themselves and no one is likely to get seriously hurt, they aren't doing it in an inappropriate place (ie bathroom) and no one is being a real bully, ie like you if there is serious pushing etc involved, but again that comes back to enjoyment by BOTH of them.

If we are at a friends place the same rules as above apply, or if the other mother obviously doesn't want the rough play to happen.

They are rough though aren't they?!!?!?
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#3 ~Emma~

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 08:56 AM

What about rough little girls??

Sophie is exactly as you described Channy... Its harder to know where to draw the line with a girl, then a boy wink.gif

#4 AK2

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 09:56 AM

My son is the same, loves to be rough & tumbled with and plays like this with other boys his age...it's so hard to know when the right time is.

When I'm with another mother, I'll always ask her what she's okay with, because I don't want her to think that I'm just letting my son 'go wild' and that I'm not keeping a close eye on the situation.

#5 claire_p

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 12:12 PM

Liam can be pretty rough with his sister. We keep saying he is going to play rugby because he is a good tackler. Having said that I have never seen him be rough with any other kids. Daycare has never said anything.
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#6 tastebud

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 01:14 PM

I have a few rules -

1. No contact from the neck up
2. No sticks
3. I always make sure I tell them to keep checking that everybody is having fun.
4. I tell all involved to speak up immediately if they aren't having fun anymore.

If I am in someone elses home, I am lead by the parent's level of comfort.

I think there is some good learning to be had from rough and tumble play.
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#7 Channy

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 01:16 PM

Thanks girls smile.gif

I have been letting him go with it. The boys he plays with are close friends and they are ok with it. So if things go to far we intervene. I am the same, just don't want anyone thinking I am letting him go wild...but then don't want to be a helicopter mum too!!

He definately doesn't bully, he played with a little girl the other week and didn't tackle her once.

Emma - LOL of Sophie, she can come take on Aidan wink.gif


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#8 Gretch

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 01:26 PM

QUOTE(tastebud @ May 26 2011, 01:14 PM) View Post

1. No contact from the neck up
2. No sticks
For some reason these made me laugh - although they are of course good rules!

T is very shy and rough play is one thing I've been consistently told will help. I have read many times that playing 'rough and tumble' style is important to development.

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#9 Channy

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 01:54 PM

QUOTE(Gretch @ May 26 2011, 01:26 PM) View Post

T is very shy and rough play is one thing I've been consistently told will help. I have read many times that playing 'rough and tumble' style is important to development.


I didn't know that, that's interesting! Aidan is an extrovert, always looking for someone to play with him...kids, adults, whoever!
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#10 tastebud

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 02:09 PM

smile.gif

I don't allow sticks but I do allow plastic and foam swords. And blow up hammers ph34r.gif
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#11 Maxi

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 02:27 PM

My little girl is named "The Tough Kiwi" at mothers' group. ph34r.gif laugh.gif

She and the biggest boy there love playing rough and tumble and often tackle each other. Some of the mothers were worried, but the children weren't getting hurt and I don't want A growing up to be a little "princess".

My husband and I were painfully shy children so we're not sure where it all comes from!

ETA: My little one is only 16 months old so slightly different situation to yours.
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#12 *Simone*

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 02:36 PM

QUOTE(Gretch @ May 26 2011, 01:26 PM) View Post

I have read many times that playing 'rough and tumble' style is important to development.


I've heard this too, particularly in the context of little boys and their father or father figures. My son, though younger, is quite rough too. I draw the line when it involves kids younger than him, or bullying behaviour like snatching or pushing.

If it's just rough and tumble in good fun, and kids are enjoying it, I don't see a problem.

#13 scasey77

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 03:44 PM

QUOTE(*Simone* @ May 26 2011, 01:36 PM) View Post

I've heard this too, particularly in the context of little boys and their father or father figures. My son, though younger, is quite rough too. I draw the line when it involves kids younger than him, or bullying behaviour like snatching or pushing.

If it's just rough and tumble in good fun, and kids are enjoying it, I don't see a problem.


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#14 SEA

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 05:11 PM

Henry and S rumble every afternoon when S gets home from work and Hen is rough! He loves being flipped over, tickled and rough-housed. He's not too rough with other children - he prefers to play things like soccer and chasies with his friends.

I follow the same things as others have said - making sure the kids are having fun and happy. A couple of times another child has tried to hit or kick Henry while they've been playing and I just tell them firmly that we don't do that, and would do the same if Henry was the instigator.

#15 Daybreak

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Posted 26 May 2011 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE(Gretch @ May 26 2011, 01:26 PM) View Post

T is very shy and rough play is one thing I've been consistently told will help. I have read many times that playing 'rough and tumble' style is important to development.

I read an article recently that said that 'rough and tumble' play is particularly important for the development of decision making skills, because the kids involved have to make a lot of decisions very quickly.
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