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So mad at myself

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#1 loveActually



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Posted 25 March 2011 - 03:14 AM

I spoke to my lawyer and the likelyhood of me getting primary carer is not very big. I am so stupid when we were together I called the cops one time he was violent, but when he went to court, I wrote to the judge saying to please drop the charges coz it was only a once off. I feel so stupid and I shouldn't have lied to the judge. He made me feel like I had to coz he said he wouldn't be able to travel or get promotions. Omg I feel so empty sad and stupid now. I dug myself into a hole. So at the moment we have shared custody. Lawyer said 10 yrs ago I would have got primary carer but now they look at equal custody. I'm struggling with the bad decisions ive made in life that's led me to this point. sad.gif lawyer said there's a chance of me getting a few days more than him but am I willing to pay so much, just for a chance of a few more days. This is very painful right now sad.gif

#2 nephthys


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Posted 25 March 2011 - 06:16 AM

This man is still bullying you! You need to tell them this and not let him win. You may not be together but he's still controlling you every step of the way. I think you need a different lawyer and sit on the phone to every Tom, Dick and Mary until you get the right advice about you being the primary carer. I don't have much experience with custodial arrangements but from what I do know, your DS is too young to have completely split arrangements. Definitely get a second opinion. Keep fighting.
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#3 Rain...



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Posted 25 March 2011 - 06:25 AM

has he ever been violent to your child? Do you honestly think he would be?

#4 chelley


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Posted 25 March 2011 - 08:48 AM

Good legal advice is worth it's weight in gold.How old is your child?

Please don't waste your energy looking back at what you should have done differently. You can't change those things. You will need your energy for creating a positive future and for fighting your husband in court
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#5 purplelily


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Posted 25 March 2011 - 01:41 PM

Which lawyer gave you that BS advice?

Trust me the Court's view on shared care is changing rapidly. Go and get a second opinion.

Good Luck! smile.gif

#6 ellemjaye


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Posted 25 March 2011 - 02:20 PM

I do shared care with my ex-husband and it works really well.

What are your reservations about sharing care? Every case is different and if yours goes to court then it will be assessed on the specifics of your situation. 50/50 means equal parental responsibilty. Sometimes this includes equal parental time but not always.

#7 *Simone*



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Posted 26 March 2011 - 08:42 AM

QUOTE(sandy85 @ Mar 25 2011, 02:41 PM) View Post

Which lawyer gave you that BS advice?

Trust me the Court's view on shared care is changing rapidly. Go and get a second opinion.

I second this, but are you sharing care now. If so, and you don't want to, you need to stop before you set a precedent. You don't HAVE TO unless there are court orders saying so, which is clearly not the case here.

#8 ~Pooky~


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Posted 26 March 2011 - 08:47 AM

My instincts are saying you should get a second opinion from a female lawyer.
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#9 loveActually



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Posted 27 March 2011 - 06:07 AM

Well the lawyer I hired was a partner in a law firm that specializes in family law and divorce. He has been doing it for like 20 yrs. sad.gif he knew all the magistrates etc. I also spoke to the free law service over the phone and she insisted that the courts are still doing equal custody., unless you can prove the other parent is unfit. I could have had the dv thing over him but I wrote that stupid letter and didn't report anything else. I regret being so submissive this this bully sad.gif

#10 * MsSassy *

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Posted 27 March 2011 - 04:54 PM

Hun, I wouldn't rely on that information. The courts favour 50/50 responsibility, however, a less likely to award and 50/50 care arrangement. So this could be what they are getting at. I would definately get another opinion

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