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#1 sis

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Posted 20 March 2011 - 07:30 PM

Hi ladies my DS is 3 and has been TT for wees for about 7months now and he picked it up really quickly.

We didnt push the TT issue and waited till he was ready. We talked to him about the toilet/potty, allowed him to see us go and allowed him to just sit there if he wanted, than one day he got up and told me he wanted to wear his undies. Since than his been in undies and a rest nappy. His day sleeps at daycare are now nappy free and im looking to take them away here as well (but he has a bigger sleep at home and still wakes wet so giving it another month before we try it).

Our problem is he wont do a poo on the toilet/potty OR in his undies. He will hold it until his in a nappy than go. He will tell me when he wants to go and sit on the toilet than ends up very upset and will cry until we put a nappy on him. We've tried reading, singing, playing games and treats. But he still wont do it.
We told him he would get a surprise when he does a poo on the toilet and now he will tell me he wants to go (even when he doesnt need to) and sit there half the day if we let him and still not go but keeps asking for his surprise.
His surprise is a big box of lego that he wants and its sitting up high so he can see it and he tells me everyday its his surprise but its not working sad.gif

I cant be in the bathroom half the day. DH is at sea so im doing it alone and need to be there for both boys but this is taking up so much time. Ive tried putting the potty in the lounge room so he can watch tv and go but nope that wont work either.

HELP what else can i do?


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#2 hanes

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Posted 20 March 2011 - 07:57 PM

My daughter does the same thing. She's brilliant now at going to the toilet on her own to do a wee and we have few accidents. But, she will always request a nappy when she wants to poo. If we dont put her in one, she becomes very distressed and will flatly refuse to go anywhere near the bathroom. The, once she's actually in the nappy we arent allowed anywhere near her while she's 'busy'.

I just figure that eventually, she'll go to the toilet so I havent made a big deal out of it yet. I have read that this is quite common and they will evenutally grow out of it.
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#3 chelley

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Posted 20 March 2011 - 08:04 PM

Ah the joys of toilet training - we have poo issues but that is because my daughter goes in her undies.

Every child is different. My friend had a 3 year old son who was EXACTLY the same. Her paed actually told her to use a bit of tough love and get rid of the nappies. The first day he hung on for about 8 hours she said.

But she had thrown all the nappies in the bin and let her 3 y.o watch her do it. Eventually with a bit of a yelp he ran into the bathroom and went on the toilet and he has never looked back.

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#4 Mel B

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Posted 20 March 2011 - 08:23 PM

It is really common. Rosie TT for wee no problem but needed a nappy for poo until she was 3.5. Once I realised she had was anxious I stopped talking about it and just let her use the nappy. When she was about to start preschool we talked about it again and she was ready to try. So that was when we went shopping for the special "poo on the toilet" present. She didn't go for almost 3 days, and I was about to offer her a nappy and then we had the breakthrough! Once she did the first one, we never looked back.

I would take it easy on the pressure. I have friends who tried to push their son into it, he ended up with severe constipation and bowel impaction from refusing to go, which led to fissures when he finally did go and then developed a whole new fear associating poo with pain. It was her experience which convinced me not to push it until she was older.

Another friend has 2 boys who had the same issue - both resolved around 3.5 - 4.
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#5 chelley

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Posted 20 March 2011 - 09:08 PM

Yep in practise I agree with Mel. While it worked for my friend to go tough love it would not be what I would use in my household. Don't know many grown men still needing a nappy and therefore he will get it all synced in his own time
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#6 moore

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Posted 21 March 2011 - 09:36 AM

Archie used to do the same thing. It was almost like he was afraid to poo on the toilet. But then all of a sudden one day he just did it and he never looked back. So I guess I don't have any real advice for you, but I have been where you are now and want to give you my support.

QUOTE(chelley @ Mar 20 2011, 10:08 PM) View Post

Don't know many grown men still needing a nappy and therefore he will get it all synced in his own time

I love that! And it is so true. It may seem like it's taking forever and that it will never work, but it will smile.gif
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#7 seedyem1978

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Posted 22 March 2011 - 10:20 AM

Our GP made 2 great suggestions - we're having the same problem.

The first is to have the "treat" in the bathroom. We hung a magnetic play scene on a hook in the bathroom, and she knew that when she did a poo in the toilet or in the potty in the bathroom then she could have it. Having the reward there makes a difference to their sense of reward. A surprise could be anything, but seeing it there made her want to achieve it.

The second suggestion builds on the first - a variation. You give a reward for them doing a poo in the bathroom, even if it's in their nappy. So they get positive association for being in the bathroom when it happens.

Having said all that, we had success within days of introducing option 1, but not since (prob a month ago). She seems to most often do a poo after waking, so having the nappies for sleep time is a harder one to tackle. She also has digestive issues, so we're reluctant to do anything more that might encourage her to hold on.
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#8 lizabear

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 05:19 PM

Finlay was like that too. I made it a bit of tough love after a while and we did have accidents on the floor and in undies and he would save it until he had his bed time nappy on too.

We did rewards for poos on the potty, he got a mini pack of smarties, even if it was a tiny speck and we hi-fived, and showed dad his poos ph34r.gif and flushed them in the big toilet....

This caught on and the poos got bigger and bigger, he kept getting treats for a while but then I kept telling him they were running out as he'd done so many poos, etc

He's a poo master now and even tells us to go away and to shut the door! lol. Just need to perfect the wipe now.

Good luck, he'll work it out.


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