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#31 loveActually

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Posted 04 March 2011 - 01:33 PM

Hi Girls,

I havent posted in here for a while. To be honest I havent been doing ANYTHING for the last month. We have just been sharing custody of my boy... and I have been feeling very uncomfy about the whole thing... and everyone keeps telling me to take him to court to get proper custody. Even my friend (from highschool who turned into a family lawyer) she told me there is no way that a court will grant 50/50 custody for an infant that age.

And my lawyer talked to me saying WTF are you doing? You are hoping this problem is just going to go away by itself etc. and he said I was jeapodising my case.

So yesterday I paid my lawyer the retainer, and sent off the cost agreement yesterday. He has just sent me a draft of the settlement letter (only with regards to custody)

I am sooo scared and having anxiety attacks. But I am just going to go thru with it, for my son.

The only thing that the current arrangements is doing, is making my ex happy. Not in the best interests of my son.

Oh my goodness I am nervous, but am forcing myself to do this!! sad.gif Wish me luck!@

#32 squidge

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Posted 06 March 2011 - 06:40 PM

Good luck!

#33 ~Emma~

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 04:28 AM

Have you done mediation first? The courts won't look at a custody case until mediation has been done.
My ex declined this only 3 weeks ago, but I got a letter saying he has initiated it again due to me claiming for CS.

#34 loveActually

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 10:51 AM

QUOTE(~Emma~ @ Mar 7 2011, 05:28 AM) View Post

Have you done mediation first? The courts won't look at a custody case until mediation has been done.
My ex declined this only 3 weeks ago, but I got a letter saying he has initiated it again due to me claiming for CS.


Well my solicitor said that in extreme cases that are not of normal circumstance (ie. violence has occured) we do not need to go to mediation...

I know my ex will not be in agreeance with me anyway... and he will probably bully me or intimidate me again. I dont want to confront him in mediation...

Wow Emma so you have to go to mediation with this guy? Oh dear you poor thing sad.gif Good luck with it all

#35 ~Emma~

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 07:05 PM

Yup, i have to do mediation, but i have requested to not be in the same room ashim, and teh mediator will run between the rooms.

#36 drom

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Posted 12 March 2011 - 12:07 PM

LA I am so pleased to read that you found the strength to walk away. That took a lot of courage.

You can see (by your posts) that you are growing stronger day by day - which is great to see. smile.gif

Stay strong and don't let him intimidate you. Your lawyer is right. This is not going to go away by itself. You need to step up for yourself, your son and his best interests.

Plus you need to show this man that he does not control you or your life any longer. He has no power over you.

Hang in there and keep us posted.

#37 29 Pearls

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Posted 12 July 2011 - 01:48 PM

Hi LA. Just wondering how you're going. Would love an update. Hope the custody has been worked out and you've managed to get your stuff back. Just remember, you're doing the right thing. NEVER GO BACK!!!

#38 Livvy

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 11:15 AM

hi just thought id write a quick reply....

I dont have kids but going to court in 2 months for a divorce from an abusive man and its tough....they send messages and threats etc they try to make it seem like your the bad guy and telling everyone who will listen that they are the victim!!

stand your ground. fight with everything you have. i agree with what the others are saying. also get every bit of paper evidence or tape record convos without him knowing when he flys off the handle. this is proof hes an arsehole!!!

if you are having a bad day or feel like giving up pm me or add me on facebook i will give u a pm with my email if u want because men who do this to women are cowards and losers! take care and please update us smile.gif
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#39 StaceyR

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Posted 24 June 2014 - 05:17 AM

I would fight now! Be strong for your son!




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