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#1 Myst

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Posted 02 February 2011 - 09:00 PM

This section doesn't seem like it is super active but I didn't want to post in another section as I'm all done being labelled today!! sad.gif

If anyone is reading this thread I would really appreciate some support however, if no one is reading this thread then a vent will also be very therapeutic I'm sure. Apologies for this being a total ramble but I have always had trouble explaining my faith to others so I hope that you can follow.

I am currently trying to organise my DD blessing day – I call it that because although it is not a baptism it will have reference to God, prayers and blessings for our babe and the introduction of a godparent. I am really annoyed because people just cannot understand what a ‘Blessing” day is and why I’m not just having a baptism or Dedication. The truth is that I totally made up a Blessing Day – it is a naming day but with God involved.

The reason that I’m not having a Baptism/Christening is because I actually believe in God so I am not prepared to stand up in front of him and all of my family and promise to raise my child in a certain faith (the Catholic church in my case) when I do not intend to – I am not going to knowingly lie to God in order to uphold a sacrament that should be about faith but has become about tradition (no disrespect to anyone who baptises their children).

I also am not having my baby dedicated as I do not currently have a church that I go to every week and I am not going to have a stranger dedicate my child just for the sake of it.

I want god to be a part of my DD life and I want to pray and have her blessed and I do not believe that my DH and I are not ‘qualified’ to do this ourselves – I don’t believe that God only listens to the prayers and blessings of certain people and I do not understand why everywhere I turn people are passing judgement on my decision.

I was raised a Catholic and went to a catholic school so most of my family and friends are of the catholic faith however I find most of them totally void of faith. They claim to believe in God and Jesus but they seem to think that I am some sort of crazed freak because I have faith in god and his ability to help me become the person I want to be IYKWIM. It seems like they are Catholic because they were brought up that way, not because they actually have any faith in God. I am so sick of people around me that claim to be Catholic but are laughing at me because it is such a ridiculous concept to believe in God – Umm, if you claim to be a Christian then it’s kind of a pre-requisite to believe in God??

On the flip side my DH comes from a very Pentecostal Christian circle who is mainly AOG and I get judged by them too. They judge me because I like to drink alcohol and I had sex before I was married and I have friends (and relatives for that matter) that are gay and I think that Jesus loves them just as much.

It seems like everyone has some judgement to pass – What ever happened to "Judge not, that you be not judged” I mean for goodness sake, take a look in the mirror before you judge me. You claim to be a Christian but think “those people that go to Paradise Church are crazy” or “she is drinking vodka – she must be an alcohoic”.

I am so sick of people judging me. I understand this from people who have no Christian beliefs at all as they may be unsure of what it’s all about but I am sick of people that claim to be of Christian faith but spend all of their time judging the choices that I make – wouldn’t your time be better spent looking at how you can support others, wouldn’t you energy be better put to spreading Gods word through love and showing others the joy that Jesus can bring in to your life by example??

Anyway – my rant is all about done. I am so sorry if I offended anyone and I hope that if you are reading this that you understand that I am not trying to pass judgement on anyone – just trying to have a relationship with God that doesn’t involve everyone else and their opinions!!

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#2 EJay

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Posted 02 February 2011 - 09:09 PM

Myst, I know it's hard but sometimes you just have to ignore what everyone else says.

To me, it makes total sence that you want to have god involved without a formal baptism - have you explained to your family why you don't want to go down the path of baptism? Don't forget, also, that there is no upper age limit for baptism - if your little one decided down the track that she wants to be formally involved in the church in that way (of if you are in a different position in a few years and decide to go that way) you will most certainly be able to do it.

Why is it that everyone feels the 'right' to have an opinion about other people's personal lives?!? It's baffles me. Hang in there - be strong, and vent away!

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#3 jessmay

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Posted 02 February 2011 - 10:46 PM

QUOTE(EJay @ Feb 2 2011, 09:39 PM) View Post

To me, it makes total sence that you want to have god involved without a formal baptism -

Yes, this makes sense to me too, from what you've said, the alternatives do not sit right or suit you or your child at all!

Judgment is such a hard issue! I try to follow the bible and it's basic beliefs as much as possible. There are definitely things/actions mentioned there that suggest God does not like certain things. BUT it also says that HE will be the one to 'judge' them, it's not up to us!! There are so many things that we can do to help others and do ourselves I don't see why people need to focus on the negative so much as point out the 'wrong' in others! I guess it's human nature, and easier to do then point out our own faults! It is a shame, as it really brings a bad in religion as a whole, making it seem like a judgmental and negative lifestyle!

Good luck with your choices!
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#4 purpledixie

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 07:44 AM

QUOTE(EJay @ Feb 2 2011, 09:09 PM) View Post

Myst, I know it's hard but sometimes you just have to ignore what everyone else says.

To me, it makes total sence that you want to have god involved without a formal baptism - have you explained to your family why you don't want to go down the path of baptism? Don't forget, also, that there is no upper age limit for baptism - if your little one decided down the track that she wants to be formally involved in the church in that way (of if you are in a different position in a few years and decide to go that way) you will most certainly be able to do it.

Why is it that everyone feels the 'right' to have an opinion about other people's personal lives?!? It's baffles me. Hang in there - be strong, and vent away!


Totally agree with EJay. I dont really understand how it is any one elses business. I do think people have the right to ask you/clarify with you what a Blessing Day is and what will be happening on the day, but I dont think that gives them the right to then go on and judge you and give you their opinion. It is YOUR child and YOUR choice what you do.

I also think if people are Christians or not, what does that matter??? I dont see why either should be able to judge your choices.

Shouldnt your family and friends just be excited at having a special day for your baby to celebrate her existence, whether it is a naming, blessing, christening, baptism whatever!!!!

#5 KoolKat

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 08:22 AM

QUOTE(Myst @ Feb 2 2011, 09:00 PM) View Post

I was raised a Catholic and went to a catholic school so most of my family and friends are of the catholic faith however I find most of them totally void of faith. They claim to believe in God and Jesus but they seem to think that I am some sort of crazed freak because I have faith in god and his ability to help me become the person I want to be IYKWIM. It seems like they are Catholic because they were brought up that way, not because they actually have any faith in God. I am so sick of people around me that claim to be Catholic but are laughing at me because it is such a ridiculous concept to believe in God – Umm, if you claim to be a Christian then it’s kind of a pre-requisite to believe in God??

On the flip side my DH comes from a very Pentecostal Christian circle who is mainly AOG and I get judged by them too. They judge me because I like to drink alcohol and I had sex before I was married and I have friends (and relatives for that matter) that are gay and I think that Jesus loves them just as much.

It seems like everyone has some judgement to pass – What ever happened to "Judge not, that you be not judged” I mean for goodness sake, take a look in the mirror before you judge me. You claim to be a Christian but think “those people that go to Paradise Church are crazy” or “she is drinking vodka – she must be an alcohoic”.


Judgement is partly human nature and partly (I believe) self guilt about not doing things right themselves.

If you feel confident and clear in your decisions then that's all that matters.

I hope it all works out for you smile.gif
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#6 * MsSassy *

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 10:04 AM

In my experience, most judgement comes out of fear and insecurity. As sad as it is, it is much easier for some to judge then it is to just except people as they are and except that other people have the right to make their own choices whether they are good or bad.

IMO, life isn't about always doing 'good' or 'right'. If that was the case then no one would ever learn. There is right and wrong, good and bad neither is of any value as they're all apart of growing and developing - ying and yang.

Continue with your choices and know that GOD supports them and thats all that matters.

#7 mango

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE(purpledixie @ Feb 3 2011, 07:44 AM) View Post

Totally agree with EJay. I dont really understand how it is any one elses business. I do think people have the right to ask you/clarify with you what a Blessing Day is and what will be happening on the day, but I dont think that gives them the right to then go on and judge you and give you their opinion. It is YOUR child and YOUR choice what you do.


To me Blessing Day sounds completely self-explanatory, Your blessing the birth of your child. Yes you could of called it a naming day and still had religious reference, but you choose not too and wanted something more religious without a baptism. I agree with the above bolded of Purpledixie.

FWIW I didn't want a baptism for my son (atheist) but my MIL couldn't understand when I said I wasn't having one. To her it was the done thing and you HAVE to have it done. Ummm no. DH and I had discussed it with each other and I told him what it meant to me and he understood. I also told him that if he wanted our son/children raised in a christian manner I would support that and take the kids to church (although I don't believe) he didn't want that either, so what would be the point of a baptism? In the end we didn't even have a naming day for our son. My DH thought it was a stupid idea so we agreed not to. That was our choice.

Stick to your guns and do whats right for your family!

#8 Cole29*

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 11:25 AM

QUOTE(jessmay @ Feb 2 2011, 11:46 PM) View Post

Yes, this makes sense to me too, from what you've said, the alternatives do not sit right or suit you or your child at all!

Good luck with your choices!


I agree with jessmay above.

DH and I are both non-believers, and both come from families that are non-believers and therefore were never baptised or christened ourselves. We decided before TTC that we would not be doing it for our child either as it would be hypocritical of us. Some people (not family)though still seem to think we should have a baptism because that's what you do. For crying out loud - it is nobody else's business.

I hope you all have a lovely blessing day Myst biggrin.gif
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#9 jet

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 11:35 AM

People pass judgement all the time and for all kinds of reasons.....

Your blessing day sounds awesome. Totally love it. People who find it weird are just those who cant think out of the box.
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#10 Myst

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 07:19 PM

Thanks so much for all the replies girls smile.gif

I'm feeling much better about it all today and have decided that I need to learn to just not care what other people think sometimes.

I really appreciate the support though, I needed it!!
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#11 squeaza

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 08:11 PM

I think what you're doing sounds really lovely, and a good reflection of your own beliefs.

I'll admit to being judgemental people who have baptisms yet have no religious faith and never attend church, but I'm tactful enough to not actually say it to their faces.
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#12 Primm

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Posted 05 February 2011 - 02:51 PM

What squeaza said! Good on you for not carrying on the hypocrisy of baptising a child in a faith in which you have no intention of bringing him up.

I think a blessing day sounds lovely!




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