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The start of things to come .....


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#16 smileykylie

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Posted 07 February 2011 - 03:58 PM

Second lot of bloods taken .... First month, Dr said I ovulated early. Second month, No ovulation at all, Dr's response was just carry on "as instructed".

I'm so upset, I don't know what to do. In tears sad.gif
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#17 Fifi2009

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Posted 07 February 2011 - 05:30 PM

sad.gif
It's a terribly hard journey and our bodies can play nasty tricks on us- I'm sorry you have not yet got better results sad.gif

I know it's hard to be disappointed month after month, but with the monitoring you are having over the next six months if you don't get your much hoped for BFP (and I so hope it happens for you), at the very least it will give your FS the information he needs to decide on the next step in your treatment plan.

Don't lose hope hun- i hope good things are just around the corner wub.gif

#18 smileykylie

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 09:59 PM

I just feel lost and alone and just ... sad sad.gif

I couldn't even go to the movies tonight without the movie throwing not being pregnant in my face.

Why does the universe have to be so mean

#19 Decembergirl

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 11:10 PM

Kylie you need to feel comfortable with what you're doing. If you think this is just a case of more waiting, make an appointment with your FS and ask to move on to the next phase early. Explain to him/her the effect this is having on your mental health, and explain your need to move on now, rather than in three months time.

*Hugs* to you. This is such a hard road.sad.gif

Please feel free to vent away in here, that's what we're here for, and sometimes just getting it off your chest is enough to ease the pain slightly.

#20 Fifi2009

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Posted 24 April 2011 - 09:03 PM

QUOTE(smileykylie @ Apr 23 2011, 09:59 PM) View Post

I just feel lost and alone and just ... sad sad.gif

I couldn't even go to the movies tonight without the movie throwing not being pregnant in my face.

Why does the universe have to be so mean


sleep.gif

Sorry things have not been going well Kylie. Can't say too much more other than I get it and no- the universe can be mean to us.
It's ok to feel lost and feel sad (that's totally normal and understandable)- but don't give up hope- as DG suggested, could you go back to you FS earlier to discuss things further, it's very hard being at a standstill. Fertility treatment is very hard work too, but at least it feels like at least SOMETHING is happening.

Big hugs- keep your chin up xx

#21 smileykylie

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Posted 25 April 2011 - 10:24 AM

thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond. I really appreciate all the great support. You are right DG, sometimes putting it down on paper or a computer screen makes the burden less.

I am going to do a couple of things on Wednesday:
1/ make an appointment with my FS.
2/ Make an appointment to see a lady about Bowen treatment, I have read and read and read about this and doesn't seem to be a harmful thing whether is works or not.
3/ I'm going to see if I can find some who does acupuncture in my local area.
I guess I feel like I'm not doing enough to try and help my situation. So this week I will be proactive and see how I go.

I feel sick every time I wake up and realise we aren't pregnant but I have to try and stay positive even thought that seems impossible some days.

On a much happier note, today I got to the 80's - 89.5 kilos. 56 kilos gone and never getting back!!!

#22 Swarles Barkley

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Posted 25 April 2011 - 11:28 AM

I just wanted to send you a hug sweets, we've talked about this privately and I know it isn't easy. I think making those three things happen this week will be a good step forward though, as least you will have given it a shot.

xoxo

#23 smileykylie

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Posted 25 May 2011 - 08:47 AM

WOOHOO something FANTASTIC has happened... I reached my goal weight today. 85kgs!!!!!!

Something else that was positive lately, I went and saw a Kinesiologist.
I went with an opened mind and actually not knowing what to really expect.
I was there for about 2 hours. We talked and she touched my arm and it was very weird but she pointed about so many things that I had hold of in my mind. She didn't make any promises about babies. I have a free mind now. I must admit I don't have a fear of getting pregnant anymore. In the past 3 weeks, every time I think about babies and getting pregnant with my hubby, the feeling of fear isn't heavy on my chest. She released that. Or so it seems. Mind over matter, its a powerful thing. Anyway fingers crossed. Positive vibes.

#24 smileykylie

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Posted 24 September 2011 - 04:08 PM

Its been 3 years since we started trying for a bub. Not an anniversay anyone should ever have to see. My husband doesn't know why I have given up but lots has happened other than us not having a bubs this year, I know its time to see our FS again but I feel defeated, my body has done so well losing all my weight but now it won't give us a child! Can't bring myself to make an appointment to see FS. Promised my husband we would do it in the new year if we don't succeed ourselves. Who am I kidding, I should make that appointment now why waste more time trying ourselves, something isn't right.

Just can't seem to shake the feeling of hopelessness Im feeling at the moment.
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#25 K+J

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 06:41 PM

QUOTE(smileykylie @ Sep 24 2011, 05:08 PM) View Post

Its been 3 years since we started trying for a bub. Not an anniversay anyone should ever have to see. My husband doesn't know why I have given up but lots has happened other than us not having a bubs this year, I know its time to see our FS again but I feel defeated, my body has done so well losing all my weight but now it won't give us a child! Can't bring myself to make an appointment to see FS. Promised my husband we would do it in the new year if we don't succeed ourselves. Who am I kidding, I should make that appointment now why waste more time trying ourselves, something isn't right.

Just can't seem to shake the feeling of hopelessness Im feeling at the moment.


hi Kylie. I was just looking through and remembered you from a couple of previous ttc cafes. Just wanted to see how you were going? If you made a FS app? I hope you are doing ok, I have been ttc for a year with only miscarriages and I can't imagine another 2 years on top of that. I'm truly sorry it has been so hard.

Congrats on reaching your goal weight too, that is amazing.

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#26 ~steph~

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 07:31 PM

QUOTE(smileykylie @ Sep 24 2011, 04:08 PM) View Post

Its been 3 years since we started trying for a bub. Not an anniversay anyone should ever have to see. My husband doesn't know why I have given up but lots has happened other than us not having a bubs this year, I know its time to see our FS again but I feel defeated, my body has done so well losing all my weight but now it won't give us a child! Can't bring myself to make an appointment to see FS. Promised my husband we would do it in the new year if we don't succeed ourselves. Who am I kidding, I should make that appointment now why waste more time trying ourselves, something isn't right.

Just can't seem to shake the feeling of hopelessness Im feeling at the moment.


I am so sorry things are going well for you sad.gif sad.gif

Just wanted to give you a virtual hug.

#27 smileykylie

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Posted 05 December 2011 - 07:36 PM

QUOTE(Kay & James @ Dec 5 2011, 07:41 PM) View Post

hi Kylie. I was just looking through and remembered you from a couple of previous ttc cafes. Just wanted to see how you were going? If you made a FS app? I hope you are doing ok, I have been ttc for a year with only miscarriages and I can't imagine another 2 years on top of that. I'm truly sorry it has been so hard.

Congrats on reaching your goal weight too, that is amazing.


Hi Kay & James & Steph - thanks for coming in here to check on me smile.gif
So sorry to hear about your losses K&J

I wish I was coming in here with more positive news.
Yes have seen a FS, he gave me Clomid drugs, 1st month didn't work, didn't even ovulate. Now waiting for AF to arrive to start my next cycle.
Really really struggling to stay remotely positive, doesn't seem like theres a "light at the end of the tunnel"
Also started counselling this week, he's asked me to start a jounal and also to get a hobby, no idea what I want to do, can't really find the motivation to enjoy anything, just want a baby.

On the weight loss front, have maintaned between 81-85 kgs for the past few months. Am now wearing size 14 clothes - thats pretty exciting, have been spending a little bit too much money on clothes but oh well smile.gif
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#28 K+J

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Posted 06 December 2011 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE(smileykylie @ Dec 5 2011, 08:36 PM) View Post

Hi Kay & James & Steph - thanks for coming in here to check on me smile.gif
So sorry to hear about your losses K&J

I wish I was coming in here with more positive news.
Yes have seen a FS, he gave me Clomid drugs, 1st month didn't work, didn't even ovulate. Now waiting for AF to arrive to start my next cycle.
Really really struggling to stay remotely positive, doesn't seem like theres a "light at the end of the tunnel"
Also started counselling this week, he's asked me to start a jounal and also to get a hobby, no idea what I want to do, can't really find the motivation to enjoy anything, just want a baby.

On the weight loss front, have maintaned between 81-85 kgs for the past few months. Am now wearing size 14 clothes - thats pretty exciting, have been spending a little bit too much money on clothes but oh well smile.gif


If you don't mind me asking, do you have other options such as IVF? There are very few people these days who can't ever end up with a baby, so there is hope. I know it helps me to look at the worst case scenario, like I looked up sorogacy. I figure if I can accept that as worst case, at least one day I could still get a baby of my own, if that makes sense. For some reason I feel ok about it all knowing that one way or another, we have survived it this long and that we WILL get that end prize, just don't quite know how or when yet!

Age still sounds on your side, sad that we have a clock ticking at all, but yours sounds like it's got a lot of ticks left yet!

Please keep us posted, I understand if you don't want to hang around in the TTC cafes snd watch everyone continuously graduate, but I'd love to know how you are doing.

And you can NEVER have enough clothes! Enjoy showing off your new sexy body!

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#29 Swarles Barkley

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Posted 07 December 2011 - 07:27 AM

Kylie, I never had great results with Clomid, the first month it did nothing but make me a moody cow. After a couple of months we switched to Letrozol and it made a huge difference. Can you take the drugs to induce your period?

Hang in there buddy.

xoxo

#30 smileykylie

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Posted 07 December 2011 - 04:41 PM

K&J - I haven't tried anything else. But I'm going to give the Clomid 1 more month and then I might contact the nearest IVF clinic. Its really daunting and I really am having a hard time coping with being faulty.
I'm 32 so I think I have age on my side but its certainly ticking away pretty quickly.
Thanks for understanding why I don't hang around the TTC cafes, it really is hard to keep positive month after month.

SB - *Waves* Hi love, thanks for the tip, I have had some many different people tell me good and bad stories about Clomid, Like i said above, I think this cycle I go up to 100mg, So I'll give it 1 more month and then see. And if my period isn't here by Friday I'll call th FS and ask WTF!!!
I'm so OVER just waiting around for what seems like nothing, but the end result is SO WORTH THE WAIT. I have to remember that.

From the bottom of my heart - thank you so much for caring xxx
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