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Mothers Groups in real life


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#16 ~Bella~

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 03:11 PM



1. How many of you as first time mums joined a mothers group? Yep i did

2. How did you meet/make contact with other women to form the mothers group? Well the ECHN out my way still hasen't organised a MG for the ladies in my area (bloody slack if u ask me especially as it is in a small town and the support is needed) Hubby's best mans' partner was due a few months after me and joined pre-natel classes quite early so we all had babies with 5 months of each other. She invited me along when i met some of the ladies at her baby shower.

3. How long did you attend mothers group for? How frequently? It is weekly, we usually meet up at someone's house or at a cafe ad hang out for at least 4 or so hours

4. Did you find you had much in common with the other mothers? Values? parenting styles? even just personality? Suprisingly yes! And they all weren't that much older or if they were nearer to their 30's they seemed quite young and we all get along really well. They are a awsome bunch of women. I think we are pritty diverse in our parenting styles but we all accept that, and just enjoy each others company!

5. If you didn’t enjoy it, did you stick with it? Why? Why not? I have/am sticking with it, as it is my sanity!

6. Will I be a bad mum if I don’t go? Absolutely not! But i would say give it a go, its good to get out of the house and to meet others, even if you only gel with one other lady you could just meet up with her each wk.

7. What benefits are there for baby/child? Socialization? Well atm it benifits me laugh.gif But im sure as he gets older and the others they will have lots more fun and learn socialization skills etc etc

8. If you never went/had no interest in RL mothers groups, why? N/A
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#17 leebee81

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Posted 17 October 2010 - 03:45 PM

1. How many of you as first time mums joined a mothers group?

I did. I was in two minds but figured I didn't really have anything to lose by trying it out.

2. How did you meet/make contact with other women to form the mothers group?

Via the MCHN/clinic nurse. We had 4 weeks of set groups at the clinic with a different topic each week - feeding, settling, sleep, etc - then afterward exchanged phone numbers and emails.

3. How long did you attend mothers group for? How frequently?

We met weekly at a cafe until the babies were around 9 months, then the weather was nicer and they were sick of sitting in prams so we swapped to the park. By 12 months everyone but me had gone back to work and it fizzled, so I swapped to a local playgroup. By 20 months some of the mums were on maternity leave again and we started meeting fortnightly at a park again. Its pretty informal, there's only 3 or 4 regulars plus whoever else feels like going.

4. Did you find you had much in common with the other mothers? Values? parenting styles? even just personality?

Not really but it didn't matter. Quite a few of them are full on routine types and think I'm a bit mad for doing baby led/demand feeding etc but its ok, I think they are a bit mad too. laugh.gif I didn't expect my mother's group mums to match my parenting style though, I attended an ABA group for that. I just wanted some people to have a coffee with each week, an excuse to get out of the house. They are all nice women and easy enough to have a conversation with. Even with the parenting stuff, I did find it interesting to hear the routine-led take on things and they seemed interested enough to hear my perspective too, even if we didn't always take each others advice.

5. If you didn’t enjoy it, did you stick with it? Why? Why not?

When I’m given advice, often people say, don’t worry, you’ll learn all this at your mothers group. So I guess what I’m essentially asking is… is it mandatory?


I did mostly enjoy it, as I said, they are nice enough women and its an excuse to get out of the house each week.I guess with the advice thing, its useful to have a pool of other mothers with babies at a similar stage to yours so you can say "Hey, baby is being a total pain this week, is yours refusing the sleep too? What are you doing about it?" and find out a) your kid is normal, cool.gif you feeling like crap is normal, and c) exchange ideas about what to do about a and b. laugh.gif Its definitely not mandatory by any stretch of the imagination and there are alternatives available if it doesn't work out - ie a Playgroup, ABA group, there's also AP groups around, and I know some prenatal birthing classes end up exchanging details and making up a antenatal group too. So you have options.

6. Will I be a bad mum if I don’t go?

Definitely not, its personal choice. I do think its worth going for a few weeks to try out before deciding if its for you or not.

7. What benefits are there for baby/child? Socialization?

For baby, not much for the first few months. During that time its pretty much all about mum I reckon - some people to talk to, an excuse to get out of the house. But once the babies get older its nice for them to be able to play together. Oliver remembers his little MG friends even though we don't meet up with them that often anymore. But a playgroup is actually better for socialisation for him, because there is a ton more toys/activities and they do craft too.
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#18 greenwich

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 08:21 AM

1. How many of you as first time mums joined a mothers group?
I did

2. How did you meet/make contact with other women to form the mothers group?
The CHN told me about it, so I rang to join my local group and it was full, so they put me in another group a few suburbs away - I was annoyed because my main incentive was to meet local mums, but it turns out the other group is full of mums from my area who couldn't get into the local group that was full laugh.gif .

3. How long did you attend mothers group for? How frequently?
The first three weeks were at a local hall and run by a CHN, then we scheduled a weekly coffee date at a fixed location - we are a big group so the idea was that it was a standing date and whoever could make it would, and odd are at least a few people would show.

We're now scheduling a weekly walk (on a different day), babes in arms movies, regular tennis and a girls night! Not everyone goes to everything though.

4. Did you find you had much in common with the other mothers? Values? parenting styles? even just personality?

Funnily we don't talk so much about that stuff.... Although I have kind of bonded with a few of the mums over our babies catnapping habits.

5. If you didn’t enjoy it, did you stick with it? Why? Why not?
I didn't enjoy the CHN sessions (she was unhelpful and a bit patronising), but I persevered because I wanted to meet mums in my area.

When I’m given advice, often people say, don’t worry, you’ll learn all this at your mothers group. So I guess what I’m essentially asking is… is it mandatory?
Not mandatory at all. I have friends who didn't go to a mothers group. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't learn anything from MG that I hadn't already learnt from here ph34r.gif .

6. Will I be a bad mum if I don’t go?
not at all.

7. What benefits are there for baby/child? Socialization?
In the newborn stage, the main benefit is socialisation for the mum - I'd imagine there'd be socialisation benefits as the babies got older and started interacting with others, but you can also get that in other places (i.e. playgroups, organised activities, other friends with kids, daycare etc).

8. If you never went/had no interest in RL mothers groups, why?
n/a - although a friend of mine who hasn't joined a MG, has sort of formed her own - her best friend had a bub 3 months before she did, and 2 other close friends also have bubs a bit older and that works for her.


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#19 kibo

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 01:10 PM

If anyone feels like answering some/all of my questions, I’d very much appreciate it.


1. How many of you as first time mums joined a mothers group? Yes I did

2. How did you meet/make contact with other women to form the mothers group? through a course run by CHN - we all got on & decided to keep meeting after the course was finished.

3. How long did you attend mothers group for? How frequently? Still do almost 3 years on, most weeks smile.gif

4. Did you find you had much in common with the other mothers? Values? parenting styles? even just personality?
Some yes, who I see outside of MG, others, I only see at MG. Some I have a really similar parenting style to, other not so much, but we all respect eachothers differences even if we don't always agree with them tongue.gif

5. If you didn’t enjoy it, did you stick with it? Why? Why not?
I've had times when I enjoyed it less than others, have taken a break here & there & went again when things settled down in my life. Not everyone makes it every week in our group, so we always have people coming and going & it's no problem.

When I’m given advice, often people say, don’t worry, you’ll learn all this at your mothers group. So I guess what I’m essentially asking is… is it mandatory?
Def not mandatory & everyone parents very differently. I think that was the best thing I learnt from seeing other mummies in action.

6. Will I be a bad mum if I don’t go? Definitely not.

7. What benefits are there for baby/child? Socialization?
TBH I think it is more for the mummies than the babies, especially early on. My DD is quite shy at first in situations, & even seeing the same kids each week didn't make any difference, it's just changed as she's got older. She got lots more out of one to one playdates than any group thing, so I wouldn't feel that I had to go just for your child, if it's something you don't enjoy. having said that, her playdates are with other kids from MG whose mummies are my good friends now biggrin.gif




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#20 KittyKatz

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Posted 18 October 2010 - 07:19 PM

1. How many of you as first time mums joined a mothers group? Yes I did

2. How did you meet/make contact with other women to form the mothers group? Through our local ECHN. She organised the first 4 meetings from when the babies were about 6 weeks old, and we all kept meeting once a week after that.

3. How long did you attend mothers group for? How frequently? Still meeting 12 months on, once a week. Once we started going back to work it got harder, but I made a FB group just for us, and we chat on that, and reguarly change meeting days so we can all catch up. We also go out every 6-8 weeks for a mums only/no babies dinner. We actually went out for drinks, dinner and dancing last Saturday night- it was awesome!!


4. Did you find you had much in common with the other mothers? Values? parenting styles? even just personality?
Yes, we all have lots in common, but we are all also different which is fantastic. Our values are all very similar, and we generally parent the same way. For most of us (bar 2 out of our group of 11), it's our first baby so we can all help each other out with advice.


5. If you didn’t enjoy it, did you stick with it? Why? Why not?
Have to admit that I love my MG. We all just get along so well that I really enjoy my time with the girls and their babies.

When I’m given advice, often people say, don’t worry, you’ll learn all this at your mothers group. So I guess what I’m essentially asking is… is it mandatory?
No,not mandatory, but it's been wonderfulknowing that we're all going through the same thing, and very reassuring when you find out that we're all having similar issues - we share and swap ideas and give each other support in the tough times.

6. Will I be a bad mum if I don’t go? Definitely not.

7. What benefits are there for baby/child? Socialization?
Def. socialisation - Abi loves playing with the other babies. She sees them regularly so is comfprtable with the babies and their mums. But for me, it's a chance to get out of the house and just spend time with other adults!

My sister and some friends never joined a MG and some found that they had no one to bounce ideas, thoughts and feeling of. OK - I can always talk to DH, but he doesn't always get it like other new mums IYKWIM.

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