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#1 Livvy

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 08:46 AM

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#2 Rachae

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 09:05 AM

Livvy, I am sorry this has happened. But i am incredibly proud of you for making the right decision for you. I left my ex after 4 months, and it was hoestly my pride that suffered the most.

People telling me that marriage is for life, you need to work at it. Some things just arent workable.

Did I realise them before we got married no. Why? Because it all honesty, I was too caught up in the wedding, too proud to call it all off because I didnt want to hurt anyone.

There gets a point. You just need to learn from every experience.

I dont have much practical advice because I never changed my name, and I moved out of our home, but I do remember that I had to sign something releasing the lease into my exes name, I would assume that he would have to sign something similar, just give the real estate a call and ask them what needs to be done.

I know this journey you are embarking on, just remember that you made your choice for a reason, and that you DO have support.
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I hope you are feeling okay, and I trully hope that you have thought this completely through. I know I did, and I am not doubting that you have, I just like to make sure, because I know how hard this is, and is going to be in the coming months.

Good luck Liv


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#3 aChocLover

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 09:32 AM

QUOTE(Livvy @ Sep 10 2010, 08:46 AM) View Post


for those ppl who tried to make me feel guilty for leaving i dont care what u say i know this is the best decision for my life. i dont have to worry about coming in the house and wondering what ill find. i dont have to stay awake listening to him yelling abuse that im a bad wife etc.



sad.gif I'm concerned that this is the feeling you got from the other thread, I don't think it was people's intention to make you feel guilty. It's very hard to comment on someone's life when you haven't walked in their shoes so were just making suggestions. Please try not to dwell on it.

As to the new opportunity that awaits you, good luck. I hope you find every happiness and that you enjoy feeling free from the burden that it has caused you smile.gif

#4 karry327

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 09:53 AM

Good on you!

Re Telstra, perhaps you can just cancel that account and then open up a new one in your name? As for his clothes, I'd just box them up and put them in the garage. It's not your problem to see that he gets them.

#5 *Lib**

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 09:55 AM

Good on you. Have you told him? What did he say?
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#6 aChocLover

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 10:47 AM

QUOTE(Livvy @ Sep 10 2010, 10:22 AM) View Post

i feel calm now... im not sure what to do about the rings do i keep them and also do i wear them at work coz no one knows yet


Keep them for now. Just put them in a safe place. Have you seen a solicitor about embarking on divorce? I would suggest that you start looking at property settlement stuff as soon as possible. You'd hate to win lotto in the coming months and have to share it tongue.gif

#7 katy_bride

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 10:52 AM

Good for you. I think you know what you wanted to do, and I think thats why the other thread wasn't the best thing to be reading wink.gif

With the telstra account I suppose at the moment it doesn't matter so much if his name is on it if it just a home phone? Its not like he has access to it. But I guess if it is mobile phones that is different. With the lease does he need to contact them or can you just sign a new lease? Personally I don't trust anyone else, why would he ring up these places to help you? I would be trying to do it all on my own but I guess that is not always possible.

With his clothes and possessions I would just be boxing them and putting them in the garage like karry327 said. Its up to him to organise to pick them up or whatever. I wouldn't waste my time trying to sell them but I think you could also get in trouble for doing that.

I think you've definitely done the right thing. No one is saying this is the end forever but I think you need to assert that you are not going to put with his emotional or physical abuse which is what you are doing now. All the best for the future I hope you find 'Liv'!

#8 flowerrose

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 10:54 AM

Sounds like a good decision Liv.

If he won't put the bills in your name it's not the end of the world. All it means is he's still liable to pay for them. So long as he can't get into the house that's the main thing. How long has the lease got to go. I'd consider moving at the end of the term - fresh start and all that.

#9 Rachae

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 11:48 AM

I would still get some stone advice from a lawyer or something. Just to make sure. Then at least if he tries anything sly you'll be covered.

I would also consider moving and RE the rings.. Just FYI I gave mine back, I didnt want to look at them. And wearing them to work, everyone will find out sooner or later. I would just take them off. But not say anything to anyone unless they ask.
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#10 aChocLover

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 12:01 PM

I know nothing about family law sorry, I would suggest ringing legal aid or someone to discuss divorce and property settlements. You may have already seen this publication from the family law courts:

http://www.familylaw... than two years

In my experience, it's the property settlement, not the divorce, that causes most angst.

And, just because you have paid for something, doesn't make it yours solely.

The affadavit you talk of has to accompany your divorce application. You'll still need to be separated for 12mths also. I'm not sure you'll get an annulment?




#11 MrsBee

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 06:04 PM

Hi Liv,
I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say good on you for making such a hard decision. Good luck with everything ... and I hope you're over the worst of it now. smile.gif
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#12 scary_girl

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Posted 10 September 2010 - 10:55 PM

Just wanted to pop in to say good on you for taking this big step! I'm not really sure what advice to give in regards to things that need to be done - I'm still trying to work it out for myself!

Just make sure you take some time out now to work out yourself and what you want to do. Try to enjoy this time alone.

Thinking of you.


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