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Okay so it is officially over...


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#46 scary_girl

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 09:21 PM

KAAAM - Thanks hon, it has been worrying me somewhat - but I'll try to relax about it now and just believe that my baby girl is fine in there.

Mrs Sassy - hmmm 3 weeks for your ex. I wonder how long it will take mine. Not long I'm guessing - but I'm going to try to not let it get to me.

Simone - thank you for helping me see that I am doing the right thing.


It is funny I think the emotional side of me keeps on thinking that I have stuffed up, but my logical side tells me that I have only ever wanted what any wife and mother deserves. So I think for a while I've just got to ignore my emotional side and just get on with my day to day life.

Ex is taking Zoe for the weekend tomorrow night so it will be interesting to see how the 'pick-up' goes. Hopefully it won't be too traumatic.


Alicia.

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#47 *Simone*

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 09:39 PM


Just wanted to add: Allow yourself to grieve for what you feel you have lost- the idea of what your family was going to be, the support of your husband, etc. You have every right to spend some time grieving that.

Just don't allow him to make you feel that your at fault, because you're not.

Good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you and Zoe.

#48 Porthos

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 09:39 PM

Good luck with the pick up Alicia. Will be thinking of you and hoping it goes smoothly.

You're SO right about the emotion and logic fighting it out. Try and stick with what logic is telling you - because you are doing the right thing and you are IN the right too.

To be honest, I am amazed by you smile.gif You are one tough chick. You have some very good karma headed your way me thinks after putting up with this absolute rubbish.

(And don't worry about hurting your lovely daughter with your upset moods etc. With such a smart mummy I bet she's a smart cookie too. I bet she's in there right now brewing up how she can arrive and become the sunlight of your life wub.gif ).

#49 KellM

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 07:16 AM

QUOTE(scary_girl @ Sep 2 2010, 09:21 PM) View Post

It is funny I think the emotional side of me keeps on thinking that I have stuffed up, but my logical side tells me that I have only ever wanted what any wife and mother deserves. So I think for a while I've just got to ignore my emotional side and just get on with my day to day life.


I think that is normal - I feel like this
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#50 RosiePosie

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 08:48 AM

Not much more to add unfortunately sad.gif but just wanted to say that the counselling is definitely a good idea. Particularly when dealing with all those feelings Simone mentioned (loss of your 'planned' future, etc) as well as the day to day issues, feelings, etc. Relationships Australia offer counselling specifically in this area and their charges are very reasonable. They means test so if you're not working, it would only be about $15-25 a session roughly. Very worth it!

Try to enjoy your weekend too - do something special just for you smile.gif
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#51 scary_girl

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 11:39 AM

Simone - thanks I am trying to not feel like it is my fault - but you are right I should be allowed to grieve the family that I wanted so badly.

Carla - awww wub.gif I hope my little girl in there is happy - and I'm sure she will be the sunshine in my life smile.gif

RosiePosie - thanks for that info - I might give them a call. As long as mum is okay with babysitting while I go to counselling.


I am having a girl's night tomorrow night with my bestie - so nachos, chocolate, movies and lots of talking. I think it is just what I need at the moment!

Thanks again everyone smile.gif



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#52 Rain...

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 12:52 PM

reported

#53 Livvy

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Posted 29 July 2011 - 09:32 AM

why was this reported???
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#54 ClaireBear

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Posted 29 July 2011 - 10:30 AM

There was a spammer above the post made by Rain but it must have been deleted now.
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#55 CaseyT

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Posted 03 August 2011 - 02:16 PM

QUOTE(Tigridia @ Sep 1 2010, 08:40 AM) View Post

Oh sweety, what a bad situation sad.gif Really, I do think you are better off without him. He isn't treating you or your family with respect. I hope he wakes up to himself enough to be a proper father to Zoe and bub.


My thought exactly, he has no respect for you or your job as a mother, I think men tend to have the blinkers on and cloak themselves in self pity when it comes to taking time to look after their own children.

I am sure there are so many women out there happy for a role reversal even just for a day or two a week. Instead of working a day job, being a mother is a 24/7 job. Selfish selfish selfish.

It might be hard for you and make you hurt, but in the end you are going to realise he isn't worth the heart ache and you are better of just relying on yourself, because clearly he can't be relied upon for support or compassion.

Sadly he is always going to be in your life and always going to cause you frustration because of the babies, but only you have the control on how you react.
Also you're going to have to accept that you are both going to have different parenting styles, so take a deep breath and let the trivial stuff go through to the keeper, but don't back down when you know you have something important you need to happen.

Good luck Babe. I hope soon you will find the peace and happiness you are worth of.
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#56 Summerbub

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Posted 03 August 2011 - 04:49 PM

Omigod its just all about him isnt it!!

Im sorry to post as an anon I just couldnt log out and log in without posting It made me so incredibly sad to read this and what he is doing to you. I agree he is emotionally abusive
You are way too beautiful a person to be with someone like that

I think alot of weight will lift when he is gone from your life

sending you much strength for the transition and im so sorry hes such a selfish loser


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#57 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 03 August 2011 - 05:07 PM



CASEY T STOP BRINGING UP OLD THREADS PLEASE.
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#58 goodgirl

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Posted 03 August 2011 - 06:19 PM

I don't think it's Casey's fault. Most of these old threads are revived because of spammers. If you haven't been around for a while you wouldn't automatically know these are old.

A good reminder for us all to check the dates since there's so much spam these days though.

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#59 CaseyT

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Posted 04 August 2011 - 08:05 AM

QUOTE(goodgirl @ Aug 3 2011, 06:19 PM) View Post

I don't think it's Casey's fault. Most of these old threads are revived because of spammers. If you haven't been around for a while you wouldn't automatically know these are old.

A good reminder for us all to check the dates since there's so much spam these days though.


Thank you, it wasn't my doing, I didn't know.

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