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Need help with clingy daddy's girl!


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#1 TK3

TK3

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Posted 14 August 2010 - 02:16 PM

I really need some advice on how my DD acts when her father is home. He has always been a very hands on dad and loves to take her everywhere with him. I warned him about 6 months ago to maybe distant himself from her because she was starting to become clingy when he was home but he just kept going. Fast forward to now and when he is home (he works shift, so he works for 5 days and home for 5 days) she will not leave him alone, she follows him all around the house and won't let me do anything for her. She tantrums and squeals so loud when he goes out of the room or leaves the house and it takes 20 mins to calm her down.

Last night I lost it sad.gif , he got home at 7.30pm and had tea then sat down on the couch to watch tv, she wanted cuddles with daddy so they cuddled for awhile and then he put her in her sleeping bag for bedtime and tried putting her down. She went mental, so it was back on the couch for more cuddles. Come 8.20pm and he was going to go to bed so he left the room and she screamed and screamed, nearly threw herself off couch and waddled to the bedroom door then started banging on it. I raised my voice and told her to stop being silly and come cuddle me but she wouldn't move. I went to pick her up and she started hitting me and so I put her down. He came out and said that he can't do anything without her being there and picked her up and gave her another cuddle.

So then we started raising our voices at each other, in the end he went to bed at 8.30pm and I was left with her screaming, she finally admitted defeat and went to bed at 10pm.

I just don't know how much longer I can put up with this! I don't have this problem with her when he's at work, she is so well behaved and plays on her own but the minute he walks through that door she is a different child. She will only fall asleep on him when he is home but when he is on night shift she tells me when she's tired and goes down no worries (bedtime is between 7.30-8pm)

Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this? I just need some help as what we should do to get her to stop being so clinging.

Thanks.

#2 Angel_Elle

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Posted 14 August 2010 - 03:31 PM

oh TK3 - i here you on the clingy daddys girl, milly is majorly a daddys girl. I remember when i stopped working she took ages to accept that i was able to comfort her as well. We have the issue where she knows what to do to get away with things if dads home IE bed time if she cracks it then she gets away with staying up and falling asleep on the lounge at 10pm.

What i have found to work so far is getting DH to agree with me on boundrys that way we both say no to the same thing and she looses the advantage of going to daddy. Rather then myself constantly stepping in to keep bedtime battle he will step in and its a major shock to hear daddy agree to me so she backs down after a bit of battle. Consistancy from both of us being united seems to be the key to get her to understand.
Sean & Mechelle 28th Oct 2006

Amylia 29 Oct 2007 Liam 17 Mar 2009 Daniel 21 Feb 2011

#3 TK3

TK3

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Posted 14 August 2010 - 05:03 PM

Thanks Angel_Elle, he does raise his voice when she does her screaming tantrums and she doesn't like it therefore stops but then continues with what she was doing before she got told off. I will get him to be more firm with her during the day so she see's that he won't give into her demands.

The one thing that annoys me the most is bedtime, we both are quite firm when it comes to that time but she will scream like she has broken a leg if we put her in her cot. I can ignore the screaming but don't like to let her go on for too long so we get her out for a 10 minute break and it starts all over again. We can do this for 5/6 times a night but she won't give in until he nurses her to sleep on him.

I would like it to be resolved before bubs comes along so I can go to bed at a reasonable time.







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