Jump to content


Photo

HENS NIGHT PLANNING HELP - trying to avoid drama


  • Please log in to reply
6 replies to this topic

#1 chelley

chelley

    Part of the Furniture

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,900 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 06:53 PM

Girls I need some help planning a hens night for the bride. I myself had an AMAZING hens day/night and kitchen tea so want to make sure she has a really wonderful evening that is suited to her taste.

The difficulty is that she is giving me no input AT ALL. She is very much a people pleaser. I have worked out what she DOES NOT want but when I give her suggestions she doesn't give me any feedback. She is really busy with work so don't want to hassle her but also don't just want to plan what I want as it is her night.

There is also a bit of a complication.

The bride is only having a small wedding. In total there are about 14 girls who she would invited to her hens/kitchen tea.

I have decided on the kitchen tea - being a high tea at Gunners Barracks here in Sydney.

The background for the hens night is this

In our group of girls there is one girl who LOVES a great party. She has an ability to influence people to also have a good time but can be pushy. From the outset she said she was planning the night (I am the only bridesmaid). She tends to drink A LOT which the bride does not like - she is 1-2 cocktails kind of girl. She would never write herself off. She was insisting that there would be speed dating and that she was going to involve sex toys and dares and going out to a nightclub.

The bride was mortified. I told this girl straight out that this would not be happening so then she told us she was going to go to the bucks night instead ohmy.gif And yes she is going. She went to highschool with the groom and he has other women going - which I just think is odd - but the bride is just glad that she is going to be with the guys so that she won't spoil her night.

The other girl keeps saying "I will see what your hubby gets up to and you won't". I am like "grow up". She said that she may still go to the boys do during the day and the girls at night.


So my suggestion was to just have a small intimate dinner with 4 girls - her closest friends. In fact she only has two really close friends - me and 1 other girl.I suggested we stay in a hotel room in the city or apartment - go for dinner or cocktails then back to the room for a movie or chocolates, pampering etc etc. I suggested that we don't invite this girl. I feel like if we expand the group number then we may have more problems.

I suggested we invite everyone to the kitchen tea - the mums, aunties etc, this girl because being high tea it is very unlikely it will turn into a boozy affair.

She seemed to think this was ok. My concern is that if we go out with a larger group they will turn it into something that she doesn't like and I don't think she should feel pressured on her own hen's night.


So what do you think. It means it will be expensive because I will cover the cost of the hotel room but do you think this is ok. Do you think it is lame?

I just wish she would give me some feedback. Any suggestions of venues as well?

I was thinking Hilton Hotel because the Zeta bar is meant to be nice. I have been to the Victoria Room in darlinghurst for an i-do meet up and it was nice.
IPB Image

Check out my blog at www.geeyourebrave.com

#2 Porthos

Porthos

    i-do Addict

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,963 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 07:15 PM

Chelley I think what you have planned sounds fantastic and perfectly deals with the situation of the 'party girl' friend.

An inclusive Kitchen Tea in a posh hotel (high tea) is certainly not going to be boozy and I am sure your bride will enjoy having all of her close friends and relos there.

An intimate hen's with just her besties also sounds divine, especially if she is not a party girl herself. My hen's was five of us, including me, and I couldn't have asked for better, it was wonderful having it that small.

I am currently planning a kitchen tea and hen's weekend for my sister and it has also been a bit tricky re: getting feedback from her. We are close, so I knew what she didn't want, but she is not very 'bride-y' so she didn't know what she DID want either. It has taken her a couple of months of mulling things over to finally say "okay this is what I want for the kitchen tea and go silly on the hen's, do whatever you want, I don't care". Once I had permission to go ahead and run with it, I relaxed as I knew I could plan something fun, something to give her a surprise without pestering her about a million details.

So if I were you I'd relax. You have chosen a fantastic hen's night idea and it sounds as if you have a very relaxed bride who is happy to go with the flow. Your idea is wonderful, I am sure she will be thrilled.

As for party girl - try to ignore her. She sounds like a bit of a trouble maker - as much as possible keep her out of the bride's ear and try to let her silly comments wash over you. Ultimately, you'll be giving the bride a lovely hen's that suits her and party girl can go jump if that's not her style - it's not about her!!

Oooppps, sorry for the rant blush.gif

#3 Monica

Monica

    Part of the Furniture

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,128 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 07:21 PM

I agree with Carla, I think the dinner and night in a hotel room with munchies and moves sounds fantastic for the type of bride to be you have described.

Let the party girl go to the bucks, what a lunatic

<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb5f.lilypie....om/511Hp10.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers" /></a>

#4 chelley

chelley

    Part of the Furniture

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,900 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 07:30 PM

Thanks girls

Yes she is an EXTREMELY laid back bride but also extremely busy with work so I don't want her to look back and wish she had done things differently eg she does not have even 1 bridal magazine blink.gif God when I think back to how many I had it probably would have paid for my honeymoon laugh.gif
IPB Image

Check out my blog at www.geeyourebrave.com

#5 indigo

indigo

    FARTY OWLS!

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,733 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 08:20 PM

I think you're a really thoughtful bridesmaid and I'm sure that she will love whatever you plan because you've been so diligent.

The other girl sounds like a tease and why on earth she's wanting to go with the men is beyond me. dry.gif

Another idea to keep it small could be if this bride is so busy - a day spa experience for her and the besties. Relaxing, helps cleanse her skin yadda, yadda. Something like that could be lovely too. smile.gif
IPB Image
Just so blessed: Keely Grace, Imogen Elise, Jakobi Jai and my better half Steve

#6 Monica

Monica

    Part of the Furniture

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,128 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 08:48 PM

I didn't buy any bridal magazines either wacko.gif
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb5f.lilypie....om/511Hp10.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers" /></a>

#7 chelley

chelley

    Part of the Furniture

  • avid user
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 9,900 posts

Posted 07 August 2010 - 11:07 PM

That's a really good idea Gayle - for the cost of a hotel room we could splurge her with some really nice treatments and then still go out for dinner and cocktails. Trouble is trying to get her into a day spa in the city within two weeks. Something to think about
IPB Image

Check out my blog at www.geeyourebrave.com




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users