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Get help while pregnant?

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#1 mum 2 four

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Posted 06 August 2010 - 03:59 PM

I have been feeling awful pretty much the whole pregnancy (27 weeks now). I was seeing a counsellor earlier in the pregnancy but have stopped because it got too hard to juggle with kids, work and financials.
I didn't think I had depression because I havn't been crying that much but i just did the surveys on beyond blue and scored very highly, particularly for post-traumatic stress disorder (what my counsellor suggested was my issue).
Anyways, I am not sure if I should force myself to get help or if I should just try and cope on my own and see if it goes away when this baby is born (assuming I have a baby to take home at the end of this pregnancy).

The other worry is that I am really destroying the relationships in my life. I am not returning anyone's phone calls and declining all invitations because i just can't find the energy or motivation to do ANYTHING! I have a friend who had twins a couple of weeks ago and I offered to go and help her out next week for a day and my anxiety about doing that is consuming me. 1. because she has TWO newborns (I havn't been able to cope with seeing new babies since my baby died, I know what you're thinking! what will happen when I have my own? I dont know about that yet, another worry)
2. I will be out of the house around another person for longer than I have in months.

ARGH, my life is a big fat mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2 Avery



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Posted 06 August 2010 - 04:11 PM

Hi hun,

Im just about to head out the door (so forgive the shortness of my post) but I just had to reply ... please go see someone. I had pre natal depression and thought that it would just go away when the baby was born, but it didnt, and it just made things worse after the birth.

Im not sure where you live, but if your around the Newcastle NSW area I have the phone number of a place that specialises in prenatal depression if your interested ...

please take care x

ETA: Im so sorry for the loss of your baby x
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#3 HayleyNZ


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Posted 06 August 2010 - 04:51 PM

Keep seeing your counsellor!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are no good to anyone else (or yourself) unless you get these issues sorted out. You have to MAKE the time, rework everything- you are also no good to your kids or work if you don't work on yourself first. Make your recovery your priority.

You have been through so much. You will not get through this by yourself honey, (it sounds like) you have a mental illness which has resulted from this most tragic upset in your life. This is a chemical reaction in your brain that will not go away.

Sometimes a way to help pull yourself out of this funk is behave your way to success. If you can, go see your friend with the twins, you can always leave if its too much. You never know, helping someone else out may do you the world of good and take the focus off your own pain. You can always just cook and clean for her and not interact much with the babies. And explain to her how difficult this is for you, she will understand.

But whatever you do, please please, go see your counsellor.

Good luck and keep talking to us, we are all here for you xx

#4 atua


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Posted 07 August 2010 - 11:26 PM

please please please please i cannot urge you enough to seek help.

check your hospital if they have a mental health unit that specialises in pre and post natal care - most hospitals now have them across various states - you need to look after yourself or you are no good for anyone else.

even without the trauma you have been through i can see myself personally the difference between not getting help (molly) and getting help (james) and the post birth period - i feel COMPLETELY different to what i have after previous births and i truly believe it's because i had a jump on it from the get go so to speak.
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#5 ***Jo***


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Posted 08 August 2010 - 12:05 PM

The last thing you want to feel is that all consuming horror that is depression when your baby is here. Do it now and get it sorted while you are pregnant, so you are best equipped when your baby arrives.

Take little steps each day and don't be hard on yourself. You owe it to yourself to put yourself first for once.

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