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The dreaded Threenagers!


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#1 -Megs-

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 09:27 AM

Why did no one warn me about the threenager? I was quietly smug throughout the "terrible two's" when a devil child did not emerge. And then the threenagers hit and any sense of smugness went flying out the window.

My darling, sweet natured little tot has been replaced by an insolent little so and so with extremely selective hearing. "What say? Huh? What say? What say mummy? Huh?" is repeated oh about a billion times a day. I can be sitting right. next. to him and still he feigns in ability to hear until my frustration meter hits overload and I'm sure my head is about to explode.

Tell him no is about as useful as quoting medical text at him, he's a threenager now and he can do what he wants don't you know? Send him to his room and he goes running off down the hallway whining in the opposite direction of his bedroom.

Sneakiness is coming into play, hiding things behind his back when he knows he isn't meant to have them, shoving his little brother when he thinks you aren't watching, snatching things away from others that he wants to play with. The latest little gem has come in the form of slowly edging his way in front of Lew when Lew is watching a favourite show, thus blocking Lew's view and ensuring a tanty.

There are still little signs my darling tot is in there somewhere, he'll come and cuddle me if I'm sad, cuddle his brother if he falls over and lots of cute cheekiness as opposed to the utterly maddening kind. But gee, come the end of most days, I really wish I could have a shot of vodka laugh.gif laugh.gif

What trials and tribulations are you finding in parenting a threenager?

#2 ~steph~

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 09:33 AM

Oh I hear you, the early threes especially were so much worse than the twos here. Honestly I would do the 'terrible twos' twice over the threes once!!

We just kept saying no and being consistent, he did eventually sort of start hearing again, sort of!
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#3 Camilla

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 09:39 AM

I love the name! It really does describe them so well. The selective hearing is driving me crazy and DH absolutely flips out over it. He is almost worse than J and throws a tantrum over the tantrums LOL. Oh BOY is it fun when we all go out for a family fun day.

The other day J decided that running off in the car park and not listening was a fun idea. I HATE myself when I get so mad but this is one thing that makes me so scared that I yell and I'm sure I'm very very scary Mummy!

Last night he accidently knocked the glass shade off the light on the stairs as DH was taking him up to the bath. It shattered everywhere and it just added to that fun feral hour.

I could tell when I picked him up from daycare yesterday that he had been pushing buttons there LOL. He had been climbing up the lockers to get his bag every two seconds and was "helping" them pack away the outdoor toys when I got there. I know his kind of "helping" laugh.gif gosh those ladies are SO patient!

This morning I saw a gorgeous side of him with his sister. He got down on the floor to give her kisses and hugs (when he didn't think I was watching) and he was so gentle.
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#4 ~steph~

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 09:50 AM

Ohhhh the tantrums!!! H hit the threenages about 2 months after A was born, there were a good number of months there where I honestly wondered what we had done (by having a second) and actually dreading what A was going to be like in three years.

H still throws a good tanty but they generally don't last the 2 hours they used to last, thank god!!
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#5 Cate

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:06 AM

We seemed to hit this at about 10 months old lol! and it hasn't stopped. Only now he is getting more sneaky and manipulative.

I have always had a struggle at teeth brushing time. However this morning he did it himself, and did it very very well. I was very impressed until he high five'd me and told me next time I talk to Aunty Mon on Skype could I let her know how good he is at teeth brushing so she can buy him trains.

I just had to keep reminding myself 'he's only 3'.... and keep repeating this mantra when I want to literally have a tantrum myself!

I also find it hard when he links things together and I have no good explanation behind my 'we don't do that' speech. For instance, there is a kid at kindy who has been picking on him. Biting, pushing, pinching etc all the time. Fox has not retaliated and has been good at letting the teachers know. They are dealing with it, and I actually think they have removed the child for a week or two. Anyway, Fox now tells me that next time someone hits him he is going to punch them. When I say no, he says 'but all the superhero's do it, pow pow'. So Simon tells him they only do it to the baddies. Fox then says, but if someone keeps hitting me aren't they a baddie too? Hmmmmm what do I say biggrin.gif

Another thing I'm finding is they have no sense of tact at all, everything and anything is open to discussion. Fox thinks only 3 languages exist, English, Spanish and Chinese. So when he hears someone speaking another language to these he says very very loudly 'Mummy what ARE those people speaking?'.

Plus he thinks all asians are female.... and proceeds to call asian men 'ladies' constantly. Again loudly!
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#6 tastebud

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:15 AM

Ahhhh the Threenager! Love it. My mother always said toddlerdom was First Adolescence!

This thread is very apt for us at the moment, thanks Megs. I actually wake up with dread every morning mine is not at kindy. I said to my GF and DH last night I'm actually scared of my own anger right now.

QUOTE(-Megs- @ Jun 17 2010, 09:27 AM) View Post

There are still little signs my darling tot is in there somewhere,


Funny, I said this to G this morning. "Where is my son? What have you done with my beautiful loving, listening, lovely-mannered boy? Will you please bring him back? I MISS HIM!"

With the exception of empathy, I can't add much more ladies. The idea of repeating it all here
in addition to living it is just too much.

MANTRAS TO SELF
"He is only 2 (or 3)"
"He will be ok"
"We'll be ok"
"Just ignore it"
"It's just a phase"
"It''s just a stage"

But yep you're right, ALCOHOL is the missing ingredient from my day.

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#7 minimee2B

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:28 AM

LOL priceless things to look forward to!!!

#8 Cate

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:32 AM

Is this a new thing? I'm wondering why I never heard about how bad it was from older generations? Is it because kids are more advanced these days? Have more outside influences? Or is it because previous generations had more family contact, eg an extended parenting style that took the pressures off the main carer?

I remember when Fox was two and I was moaning about him to my Aunt, who is almost 60 and she said I was expecting too much from him, and in her generation 2 yr olds were still considered babies! She laughs when I try to negotiate with him and tells me he's not in the UN tongue.gif
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#9 Sarah Kate

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:46 AM

Oh Megs darling it only gets worse at 4 and then when they start school LOL. Emma is giving me so much lip at the moment I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I spoke to a few kinder mums and they are going through it as well.
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#10 ~steph~

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 10:51 AM

QUOTE(Sarah Kate @ Jun 17 2010, 10:46 AM) View Post

Oh Megs darling it only gets worse at 4 and then when they start school LOL. Emma is giving me so much lip at the moment I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I spoke to a few kinder mums and they are going through it as well.


That's true H is getting very good at answering back, however honestly I would take that over the tantrums we had at the start of the 3's!!

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#11 scasey77

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 11:38 AM

I need to stop reading now as this is making me scared of what is to come laugh.gif

I say to DH that everytime I think Cate can't get worse she does.

I agree about never hearing about it before though Cate. I have always heard about the terrible 2's but never about the 3's until recently. A book I was reading on discipline did say that we can be inclined to treat kids too much like adults and that it is a bit pointless trying to persuade them around to our way of thinking. They just need to know who's boss so to speak rather than negotiating too much.
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#12 Em-Jay

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 12:04 PM

Oh we have bossiness in full force here, and the drama and theatrics that start if she doesn't get her own way rolleyes.gif My god blink.gif

I too was pretty smug through the terrible twos, thinking gee it's really not as bad as people make out ph34r.gif Then she turned 3 and all of my smugness went right out the window!!

Most days I crack and yell myself at least once. Last night it was about wanting to take off ALL of her clothes to go to the toilet (at 8pm in the middle of winter blink.gif ) The dramas that started when I wouldn't let her were unbelievable! I ended up screaming "Sit Down Or I Will BLOODY Smack You!!!!" To which she replied "Bloody is a naughty word, and because you are such a naughty Mummy I don't like you and I will buy a new one" rolleyes.gif
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#13 *****030812

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 02:33 PM

oh dear Nicki! they are too smart for their own good with what comes out of their mouth!

I only knew of how bad 3 was by reading what people had been mentioning here and then on this forum laugh.gif And it's soooooo true. We have been seeing it for a couple of months now.

Miss Attitude. Miss Bossy.......etc etc.

Hearing you on when they know something is naughty. Taylor tends to grab whatever it is and make a run for it yelling out "nah nah you can't catch me".

I have to say though I have seen an improvement in her apologising and fully understanding what i am saying. I won't settle for a simple 'sorry mummy'. I ask her to say it in a full sentence so that I know what she is sorry for. I try to do the same when she demands something and forgets her manners. I want to hear the request and the please together in the same sentence ph34r.gif

Thankfully I still see the wonderful side of her on a daily basis at least once.

It is so hard not to laugh when they say they don't like you anymore and they don't want to see you ever again.

#14 ~R~

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 03:17 PM

QUOTE(Em-Jay @ Jun 17 2010, 12:04 PM) View Post

Oh we have bossiness in full force here, and the drama and theatrics that start if she doesn't get her own way rolleyes.gif My god blink.gif

I too was pretty smug through the terrible twos, thinking gee it's really not as bad as people make out ph34r.gif Then she turned 3 and all of my smugness went right out the window!!


I'm hearing you Nikki blink.gif

I have nodded my head in agreement with every post I have read so far.

In particular, what is it with the selective hearing all of a sudden? This is driving me up the wall! If I hear "What?" one more time I am going to flip! I KNOW she doesn't have a problem with her hearing but honestly I've lost count of the amount of times these last couple of weeks I've considered taking her to the GP just to get it checked out wacko.gif


#15 Bridget_A

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Posted 17 June 2010 - 03:35 PM

Jeremy was an almost perfect child until Heidi arrived. Now I don't know whether to attribute it to the "change" or the "age" - but wacko.gif he's doing my head in!

I could be here all day going on about it, but I wont. I don't have much more to add other than *sigh*
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