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#466 loveActually

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 09:57 PM

Hi girls... I thought I would join this thread as I have recently become a single mum. My situation is a lil different, in that I only have half custody of my 2 year old son sad.gif

I have been separated from my awful ex for 4 mths now and its the best decision I have made! Altho now I am going thru the issues that you girls all go thru being a single mum... its all a bit scary at times but Im still happier than being in an awful marriage.

Anyways I look forward to getting to know you all smile.gif

#467 ~Emma~

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 10:34 PM

Sassy, we had mediation a few weeks ago, were lucky enough to get a cancellation. We did shuttle because i was not prepared to be in same room as the ex. Good Luck for yours.

I have been seeing a guy too, but it is nothing serious at all, and i cant ever see it getting serious. He is fun, and i enjoy spending time with him, but nothing more than that. We hvae known each other since school days, but we never really knew each other that well.

We have (hopefulyl) final prop settlemetn discussion on 10th, then we will apply to the courts to have it enforced. Im still owed close to $2000 from him, and we have a fair chunk sitting in trust at moment.

#468 * MsSassy *

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 04:44 PM

Thanks Emma. How'd hrs go did u get emotional. That is my biggest worry as I ended up in tears at the pre mediation interview. I am feeling very nervous though and I will definatley be having the day off world for it as well.

We have also discussed property settlement but nothing has been put forward to my lawyer at this stage so I don't know where that is up too. I did say previously that I wasn't going ahead with property settlement until the issue with the kids were sorted. I said it in the heat of the moment when I was quite emotional. I later said that I'm happy to look at it and that they need to send correspondence to my solicitor. But I haven't heard anything so I'm assuming they have done anything about it.

Gem - that's great to hear ur doin much better and feeling like ur getting on top of the PND. And from Facebook I definitely see how happy ur are in your new relationship. I love the start of relationships, feels like you're on a constant natural high.

Loveactually. Welcome to our section. You sound like ur doin really well with the new adjustments. How are u coping with the 50/50 care arrangement???

#469 loveActually

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 06:30 AM

Now Ive had a bit more time to read thru recent posts, I can kinda see what everyone is upto.. sort of hehe.

Ms Sassy - Thank you for welcoming me... It has been a lil difficult... we have an arrangement one week on one week off. Except wed, and thurs night he is with the other parent to break up the week.
He is in daycare fulltime. Hardest part is when I am away from him for the weekend he is with his father because it means I drop him off on friday morning and dont see him again till monday afternoon after work.
Im hoping it will get better I get very sad by 3rd and 4th day, very lonely.
Anyway its great that you are going away to Bali for a holiday sounds sooo exciting take me too!! Lol

MS Gems - Im really happy for you that you have found "The One" no doubt you have been thru alot and deserve what you have now smile.gif

Emma - Hi again smile.gif I remember you were going thru the same thing as me... Im sorry you are having trouble with CS.. I havent applied for it, I just got my solicitor to ask my ex to help with Childcare. HE hasnt paid a thing towards my sons childcare or ANYTHING. Even tho we share custody. Still waiting for a reply to my proposal for property and assets and everything. He has until 12th May... Hoping we can settle.

LIlimouse, Vaalentine, Emsie and Vanessa and Ela- Hi there, I havent read many of your posts because I only have read about 2, 3 pages back... But Im sure Ill catch up!

So how old is everyones kids, and how long have you been separated from the father etc..?

In a nutshell I was married for 2 years to a narcissist and finally separated about 4 mths ago. We have shared custody of our 2 yr old. Future is a lil scary (regarding custody and my relationship with the ex he doesnt want to be amicable) but trying to take one day at a time and not look too much into the future coz it freaks me out.

Is it difficult to start a relationship with someone now that you have kids? Do you find its accepted or do you get people who dont want that kind of responsibility? Also how long were you separated before dating again?

#470 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 07:02 AM

Hi loveactually smile.gif I'm not really part of this group anymore because B and I have sorted things out and he's moved back in smile.gif but I still read regularly and offer support and see how my chickies are going.

Just wanted to mention that if you are receiving centerline assistance (family tax benefit in particular) you have to apply for child support of they will greatly reduce the amount you receive. It's up to you whether you want to do a private arrangement, but you still need to apply and have the assessment done. If you want to go with a private arrangement you just tell them you'll collect yourself. If you are working, and have a 50/50 care arrangement, if you earn more than your ex it's quite possible that you'll need to pay him child support. Just a heads up xxx

Also just on the starting a new relationship with kids. I'm sure there are guys out there who it may bother, but in my experience it really is a non issue. I have an older child from a previous relationship and that didn't bother B when we started seeing each other. When B and I were apart last year, I was pregnant and that still didn't bother a guy that was interested in me. Most guys out there don't see kids as a reason to not get involved, but more of a way to be more careful with your heart and theirs smile.gif
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#471 ~Emma~

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 08:13 AM

Sassy.. I was extremely emotional during mediation. He is a cock and not thinking for Sophie, only how to screw me over sad.gif

LA- the guy I've been sorta seeing is coming around a bit to Sophie. He has only seen her a few times so far and we haven't been loved up around her, just taking things very slow this time.

I was married for 6 years, together for 10, been separated for 4 months this weekend.

#472 MsGems

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Posted 03 May 2011 - 04:25 PM

I was never in a relationship with Penny's father.

I dated a couple of guys prior to starting my relationship with S. They knew I have a child (I met them via RSVP), and both have children themselves. Only one was truly accepting of her.

S has known me for three years, so was well and truly aware of P laugh.gif. He hasn't had much to do with babies before, but he accepts that P is a huge part of my life and we're a package deal.
He's not game to change a nappy yet laugh.gif but he's great with her. She's even called him 'dada' a couple of times ph34r.gif

IMO if they're not willing to accept that you're a mum and come as a package deal, they're not worth the time and effort.
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#473 loveActually

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Posted 13 May 2011 - 08:19 PM

Hi Girls smile.gif

Thanks Emsie for the advice. My solicitor said that we will try child support as a last resort if ex doesnt pay anything... can you believe he told his lawyer, who then told mine that he IS paying childcare unbelievable!!

Emma thats great Im happy for you that you are moving on smile.gif

Ms GEms thats sooo great you must be soo excited!! I would love to see photos of everyones babies!!

So whats new with everyone? How come this thread is sooo.... quiet? smile.gif

#474 ~ela~

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Posted 16 June 2011 - 10:53 AM

Just wanted to come back in as it had been a while since I had been in here.

Things are going ok here, having a toddler and a newborn was a breeze compared to now. Ethan is currently 2.5 and Lucas is 1 next month. I have hit the full on stage with Lucas thinking he can walk (although he can't) so he's into everything. Ethan has resorted to pushing him and snatching everything from Lucas. Sigh. wacko.gif

I am still looking for work, 90% of jobs are things I am not qualified for, they want you M-F school hours (ideal in a few years, but not atm when I have to get Ethan twice weekly to speech therapy and pay daycare x2) or they are full time. I am persevering though as something will come up, not to mention I have been out of the workforce for 2.5 years so am probably not a great candidate.

The days/nights are still so full on here, Ethan is sleeping ok, Lucas is all over the place. On Friday afternoon I had just packed their bags as they were going to Brett's for the night, and Lucas let out a big scream, gasping for air etc, he was standing (he's so close to walking) at Ethan's toy ironing board and he dropped down and the board dropped on his middle finger. Cue a trip to the emergency ward, plastic surgery the next day. In the plastic surgeons words he busted the end of his finger. Gulp. Nothing like driving two screaming kids to the emergency ward on a Friday afternoon and then fasting an 11 month old for 8 hours for surgery, did I mention the poo from the antibiotics laugh.gif ph34r.gif . He is finally home now, but is awake alot during the night, 2/3 hours of sleep a night is really getting to me! We go back in a week for them to re-dress it and check how it's healing. Literally felt like my heart was breaking sending my little bubba to theatre. sad.gif But he is on the mend. smile.gif

It's quite literally one thing after another, and everyone keeps saying as time passes by it gets easier, but really I have been doing this for 8 months and it's just exhausting. sad.gif The sick children and lack of sleep is really starting to affect me.

Anyway, how are you lovely ladies going? Is Alicia/SG still around?

#475 ~Emma~

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Posted 16 June 2011 - 11:25 AM

Im here... Just really surviving. Have had more drama after another, and just got a serious 2nd degree burn to my face at work.
Ex is agreeing to terms of AVO now, so I dont have to go to court anymore. Still no closer to getting a resolution on the property though sad.gif I want it to hurry up, cause I want our parenting plans lodged to the courts aswell.

#476 loveActually

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Posted 25 June 2011 - 09:47 PM

Hi girls... Ela just reading what you have been thru my goodness how do you handle it! If my son busted his finger i would freak out really bad!!! I really feel for you. How is lucus now? I hope hes alot better now and getting some normal sleep routine back.

#477 **Vanessa**

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Posted 26 June 2011 - 06:00 PM

Hi all, I know I have been MIA for a loong time.

In a nutshell, I went through a very, very bad patch of depression, was suicidal etc., and ended up in the mental health unit for a couple of weeks. I am medicated now and see someone every week. I have good days and bad days.

I too have started seeing someone. I have known him for 2 and a half years so he knows Abbey well. He has a son with cerebal palsy, who is the most beautiful boy. Dave treats me really well, he took me to a dayspa, cooks me dinner, is happy to mind Abbey so I can have a rest or a shower in peace.

Abbey is starting daycare 1 day a week next week, so I can have a day off. It is bloody hard work this single parent gig.
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#478 jantastic

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 12:51 PM

reported

development is a journey, not a race

#479 * MsSassy *

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 09:08 PM

Hey Vanessa,

I'm sorry to hear what you have been through. I had no idea, even from your facebook. Although I can tell that you are very much smitten with your new relationship.

Its kinda the thing you've been looking for I believe.

Its also great having an extra set of hands around on occassion to help out with children duties cause they certainly take it out of you.

All is pretty good in my life. Am starting to get the ball rolling with court proceeding to allow me to relocate 2hr away with the kids. I know its going to be a drawn out battle but am hoping that we will know what we can do within the next 12-18months *fingers crossed*.




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