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#1 kazz

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Posted 19 April 2010 - 06:20 PM

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#2 mango

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Posted 19 April 2010 - 06:29 PM

Maybe your mad because they have found happiness you don't think they deserve?

#3 Vik

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Posted 19 April 2010 - 06:31 PM

QUOTE(kazz @ Apr 19 2010, 08:20 PM) View Post

I'm so relieved and thankful I didn't marry him so why would i be so cross that he got married?

It's probably worthwhile looking a little below the surface. Behind anger is usually sadness and shortly behind sadness is usually pain.

There could be myriad reasons why you felt the way that you did when you found out he got married. I think it's probably only something you can answer.

If I found out my ex got married (who I haven't spoken to in over 10 years), there'd be a part of me that would feel rather sad. The sadness definitely wouldn't be regret that I'm married to my now husband who I love and adore, the sadness for me would more be about the regret I had about the way our relationship ended as well as the fact that that we weren't in a position today to talk about what did go wrong.

One thing that you might do to help you get started is just ask yourself : "If there there was a reason for me to be angry, what might it be?" From there, you could then ask yourself some more questions and see where you end up.

I hope you're able to find some answers within.
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#4 purpledixie

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Posted 20 April 2010 - 08:25 AM


May be you are mad because you think now he might be doing what he did to you (abuse etc.), to his new wife??

If that makes sense?

#5 ~Pooky~

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Posted 20 April 2010 - 09:25 AM

Id be angry as well. He treated you like dirt if he mentally abused you and cheated on you. Then he gets to go off and have a romantic wedding - id be a bit insulted also.

Even if I was totally over it which you sound as though you are. Good on you for leaving. Its all finalised now and youve been able to get angry and maybe you are just letting that final anger out so you can move on! better out then in.

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#6 pinkbutterfly

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Posted 20 April 2010 - 12:15 PM

When my ex got married to my ex good friend, I felt nothing. I didnt wish them well, and I didnt wish them ill, just nothing. And that actually surprised me cos I thought I should feel something.

But I do get angry everytime I see him post on mutal friends FB page, and I thank God everytrime that I didged that bullet.

I think I feel a bit like what Vik was saying. Angry at the way things ended and that we can't even be civil to each other anymore.
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#7 RachelleK

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Posted 20 April 2010 - 12:47 PM

Hi Kaz,

While I agree with what has been posted - I was also in the same situation as you for almost 5yrs - except my ex got married a year after we separated ... I was left with more than an incredulous WTF!! feeling!

I was shitty that he put me through hell and then went and married someone else with a "clean slate" so I felt I was the only broken one. I was shitty that he could be doing the same things to her. I got EVEN SHITTIER after being a FB stalker and saw all the "happy so in love" family shots ... My Shat-Off-O-Meter exploded when I had the following thought:

"What the hell was so wrong with me, that you treated me like dirt, didn't want to get married to me and have the happily ever after you clearly rushed off to get with someone else?"

I still get riled up (lol am irritated now) what gave him the right to treat one person so different to another? I'd like to think it's guilt that he's appearing to not be such an ass anymore! dry.gif

Am with you Poooky - onwards and upwards! He's out of your life now - can only hope he's not putting his new wife through the same hell you put you through.

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#8 ~Pooky~

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Posted 20 April 2010 - 12:57 PM

A leopard doesnt change his spots though - it might look all nice and lovey dovey but eventually an abuser will descent into their old ways sadly. Thats what I think anyway I could be wrong but I dont think people change a heck of alot.

id be mad also hes managed to fool a new set of people and hence gotten away with how he treated his ex only so he can do it again when he thinks he is all secure!!
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