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My 6 year old has asked "that" question


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#1 TraceyH

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 07:58 AM

My 6 year old daughter had a sleep over at a friends house last weekend and her and her friend went out to friends mum and asked the question "how are babies made". My poor friend didn't really know what to say but explained that it was something that Jess should talk to me about and she would talk to her daughter about later. She explained this to me when she dropped Jess home.

Anyway she asked the question again but this time to me but we had another friend with her so I used my friends response biggrin.gif . I am not prepared or comfortable talking about this to another persons child but I do have to have a chat to Jess and tell her something.

What should I say? How much do they need to know at this age? She definitely knows how babies are born.
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#2 Rain...

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 08:16 AM

My step daughter asked my SIL this question... and she answered it... which annoyed us. I think your doing the right thing by not answering it for other people children.
The thing that really annoyed me about my SIL she told the old "a Stalk dropped you off". It really pissed us off. she shouldnt be answering those big questions for another persons child.

We ended up having a talk to Olivia (my step daughter), and told her the Truth. She was only 4 or 5, and we said something along the line "When two people love each other very much...."
We made sure she realised it was something special between two people, and also suggested that they should be married.

goodluck... wink.gif

#3 anon_e_mouse

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 08:40 AM

My parents were saved this by a friend's older brother and sister teaching us all the facts of life when I was about 5! To be honest, it just demystified the whole thing and meant it was never really spoken about.

A whole lot of friends had the 'where do I come from' type book presented to them about the age of 8-10 but my parents spared me that! We did have a very good book in the primary school library though, I'm never going to remember the name, but it was all about the human anatomy in terms of machinery! As silly kids we loved the section on reproduction, and they had diagrams of the genitalia but all made up as machines so you could see what was going on where. I think it was a good way of explaining it all to be honest, but I was pretty open-minded as a kid and that would make a difference biggrin.gif
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#4 Bronwyn

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 08:47 AM

I was given a book called "Questions children ask and how to answer them" which has age specific answers for these sorts of questions. As an example, this is what they suggest as the answer to this question aged 4-6:

"Like all babies, you were made from a seed from Daddy and an egg from Mummy. Daddy's seed and Mummy's egg joined together in Mummy's tummy to make you, so you're very special, and a lovely mixture of Mummy and Daddy"

Age 6-8 says:

"Daddy's see, which are called sperm, are made in his tests, which are inside the special bag of skin, called s crotum, hanging behind his penis. Millions of tiny sperm are being made there all the time and they are mixed with a white liquid called semen. Mummy's eggs grow inside her body in two egg-makers called ovaries. Every month Mummy's ovaries make an egg. When Mummy and Daddy made you, semen from Daddy's penis carried the sperm to Mummy's womb. One of the millions of sperm joined up with Mummy's egg to start a new baby - which was you."

Now, I'm not saying to use either of these responses exactly (the second one definitely sounds like a little too much detail for me), but it might give you a guide as to what level to pitch the answer to. They don't really go into the idea of sex, but there is another answer for the sex question.
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#5 TraceyH

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 08:49 AM

QUOTE(Serenzy @ Mar 5 2010, 09:12 AM) View Post

Ooh Tracey, this is something I'd love to see responses too! Maddison hasn't asked that specific question yet, but I know it's not far away! She also knows how babies are born (after we told her, she looked down at herself in horror and said, "But Mummy, it's way too SMALL!" Yes my love, we're all too aware of that! laugh.gif ).

I'm wondering if there are any decent books out there that would help explain, apart from the "Where Do I Come From?" one?!


Thats funny. Jess thinks babies are cut out of you because I had a c-section with Jaz. She knows there is another way but hasn't asked for the specifics of that either yet - thankfully!!
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#6 aChocLover

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 09:23 AM

I'd be interested to hear the responses too - my daughter has been asking "HOW" since she was 4.

She also came home in absolute tears because she didn't want to have babies "because they cut your tummy open" sad.gif I tried to explain not all babies are born that way (I had vaginal births for both girls!), which just led to the "well HOW" and looking for an easy response said "they come out of a special hole near your bottom" ... which was met with an inquisitive "can I see?!" blush.gif ph34r.gif laugh.gif

So far, now she's 5, we've avoided the question - I really don't want her to look at Hubby and understand that there's a dual purpose for the penis (urinating/sex). I looked at the Where did I come from books and they were a little too advanced for her/too much information. I also worry she'll go to school and share the information with other children!

My parents gave me a where did I come from colouring-in book wink.gif

#7 Rachae

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 11:15 AM

I got a his thing goes into your thing and thats how babies were made.

I swear from 5 to 8 or 9 I freaked out everytime anyone gave anyone a wet willie. (the finger in the ear kind)
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#8 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 11:32 AM

Some may not agree with me, but I don't think a 6yo is old enough to understand the sex part of it.

I also disagree with cabbage patch / stork stories.

I like the idea of "when 2 people fall in love and get married, and decide they'd like to have a baby, they have special cuddles and then something from the daddy and something from the mummy meet up in mummy's belly and make a baby. Over 9 months the baby grows inside mummy's belly and gets ready to be born. When the baby is ready to come out, mummy goes to the hospital and brings the baby into the world" then answer any questions that stem from there, giving as much or as little info as you like.

HTH.
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#9 SmittenKitten

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 04:51 PM

Tracey,

Just going out on a limb here! Have you thought about actually making a book with your daughter. So you can draw the pictures with her and explain it to her as your making the book? Obviously you would just draw mum and daddy hugging for the "sex" part of it and maybe say "when mummy and daddy love each other the expresss it in a way where they hold eachother close???, and then quickly move on from that into what happens after this.

I think it would be a great way to answer the question openly and honestly and allow her to to be able to understand fully as SHE has created the book rather then being handed one or have one read to her.

Just an idea!
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#10 TraceyH

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Posted 09 March 2010 - 11:47 AM

QUOTE(xxEmxx @ Mar 5 2010, 12:32 PM) View Post

Some may not agree with me, but I don't think a 6yo is old enough to understand the sex part of it.

I also disagree with cabbage patch / stork stories.

I like the idea of "when 2 people fall in love and get married, and decide they'd like to have a baby, they have special cuddles and then something from the daddy and something from the mummy meet up in mummy's belly and make a baby. Over 9 months the baby grows inside mummy's belly and gets ready to be born. When the baby is ready to come out, mummy goes to the hospital and brings the baby into the world" then answer any questions that stem from there, giving as much or as little info as you like.

HTH.


This is basically how I answered her the other night. She seemed quiet happy with the answer. I did explain about girls/women having a form of egg (had to explain it wasn't like a bird egg). Oh and had to say that when two people love each other and want to be together forever etc because she has a couple of friends whose parents aren't married but have children together. Phew think it is over for now.

Thanks for your help.
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Jessica Anne born - 31/12/03
Jasmine Sarah born - 30/5/07
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#11 cazza

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Posted 15 June 2010 - 09:19 PM

There is a fantastic childrens picture book called 'Mummy laid an egg' I'm not sure who the author is.
It explains things soooo well for young children. I would definately recommend this as a starting point anyway.

#12 Mellybel

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 04:55 PM

QUOTE(xxEmxx @ Mar 5 2010, 12:32 PM) View Post

I like the idea of "when 2 people fall in love and get married, and decide they'd like to have a baby, they have special cuddles and then something from the daddy and something from the mummy meet up in mummy's belly and make a baby. Over 9 months the baby grows inside mummy's belly and gets ready to be born. When the baby is ready to come out, mummy goes to the hospital and brings the baby into the world" then answer any questions that stem from there, giving as much or as little info as you like.


This souds good, I wouldn't do the 'cabbage patch/stork' thing either, but the truth in a 'little kid' way like this is nice

When I was 6 on the way to school from the backseat I asked mum what sex was (she loves telling this story) and luckily she asked 'why do you want to know?' first - turns out I was reading my new wallet which has an id card asking 'name, age, SEX...'?!?! LOL

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#13 tastebud

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 01:45 PM

Recently, my 3yo asked a series of questions, ending with "But how does the baby get into your tummy?!?!"

I told him the mummy and daddy have a special huggle, then I quickly changed the subject!

I myself knew the truth from (at least) 4yo, so I'll be frank and to the point as these things pop up. That's for my own children.... I would be following your friends lead if someone elses child asked me....
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#14 Monica

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 01:55 PM

Nina asked me what her vagina was yesterday, LOL and when I told her she walked around the house singing 'bagina, bagina'
I SO look forward to the rest of the questions.
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#15 AK2

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 02:04 PM

LOL Nina, cute smile.gif

Will waves hello and goodbye to his penis every nappy change....




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