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time frame for PND ?


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#16 MrsWhitton

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 08:50 AM

Hey sweetheart, just wanted to see how you were?
I was diagnosed with PND when Rylan was 15mths old, i was angry all the time, not at him but everyone else.
Hubby couldnt do anything right and id yell at him for not doing anything but then yell when he did cause he was doing it wrong!

I couldnt sleep, i felt like i had to do everything myself...cause thats what mums do, they have happy babies, beautiful homes, cook meals, keep everything perfect and dont need to ask for help!!

I can relate to the resentment but mine is different, i resent the fact that hubby can leave at anytime without any worries at all, the kids just wave and say goodbye, but if i try that its like a standoff...kids screaming they want to come and making me feel guilty for wanting to run to the shops by myself..

I know these are different to what you are feeling buy guilt can manifest itself into everything we do and change how we think.

I hope you get some answers from your DR, you know where i am on Fb if you want to chat smile.gif

Take care
xx
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Ashlyn Frances 25th June 2007

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#17 _Alana_

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 10:21 AM

Thankyou everyone.

I went to the docs and he said i have PND - he doesnt think its too bad though its more because of being so anxious of being a perfect mum and now the anger that he doesnt want me.
He gave me some tablets to take, booked in with the therapist at the surgery and he is looking for a PND mothers group run at the hospital for me to join.

I rang my mum and told her everything i was feeling. She doesnt think i have full blown PND more 'baby blues' and it will pass when ry finishes he faze of clingy to his dad. It was nice for her to be understanding though as i was really nervous in telling her.

Ill get there, i'll forgive OH for it soon, i hope biggrin.gif.

I love my son soooooo much but i cant wrap him up like a baby forever.
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#18 MrsWhitton

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 01:09 PM

Im glad to hear that you have gotten the support you need, i found the medication helped heaps, and i felt 'normal' pretty quickly.

I hate all the pressure and expectations we place on ourselves as first time mums, they are so unrealistic and thats what leads to feeling like this.

Best of luck over coming your anxiety and fingers crossed Rylan will grow out of this phase.

I was just curious..
Are you the parent to discipline him and make him do all the things he doesnt want to, eg go to bed, eat, sleep and so on or is it an even split between you and your OH?

My kids (at your little mans age) only saw daddy as the one to play games and have fun, and me as the horrible mum who made them take medicine, eat veggies and go to bed LOL, so could this possibly be adding to his behaviour?

Either way i hope you are ok smile.gif
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Ashlyn Frances 25th June 2007

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#19 _Alana_

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 02:05 PM

Yes eliza i am that parent i guess. Its hard - he is at daycare 4 days a week, home at 4:30pm - OH is at work till 9:30pm and Ry is in bed around 7:30. So im like a single mum 5 nights a week, which is lonely. OH and i pick up Ry together and he drops us home these 4 days ( its like his lunch break )

The two days OH is home he does as much as me - only i do bottles and bed though as he doesnt do it that well for OH but is perfect for me at those times.
Saturdays is Ry and i's day home together - he sees his dad till around 10:30am when he goes to work - Ry is a pain until lunch time nap on saturdays after his dad leaves but is good once he wakes up. Sundays and Mondays are our family days with OH and I doing it together.
OH does play alot with him, but so do i - and i rough it up too. OH is just as strict and will give him the stern voice just us much.

Ry loves me but is use to me - i guess he is just excited to see his daddy as he doesnt see him that often, I know OH feels like this and i shouldnt take that away from him

I feel very fuzzy from the 1/2 tablet today. I dont like them at all - i would prefer no medication and just talking about my feelings but ill give it ago.
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#20 atua

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 02:18 PM

you'll find the fuzzy can last upto 2w but generally speaking within a few days you should notice it subsiding - i know for me i started at 50mg of zoloft for 4 days then moved to 100mg and the jump from none to 50 was harded than 50 to 100 - the hardest steps have been made though and it does get easier from here.

are you taking the meds at night or in the day? i know a lot of ppl get told to take them at breakfast as they can sometimes cause insomnia - i personally find it easier at night (i don't suffer from added insomnia thankfully) as that way i know there is another adult in the house (i wait til they are asleep) so i'm not so worried about being a little snoozy as there is someone else there just in case.

please call 02 4621 5000 (the ICAMHS team) - they will see you for upto 12mths post birth then you are transferred to adult mental health after that - medication for this team (which is run through the hospital and is staffed mostly by ex midwives and has a psych on the team) is last resort and it is more counselling based - it is completely free (covered by SWASHS) and honestly i could not function without them, i have never felt so safe in counselling as i have with this team - medication has it's place but discovering the underlying reasons why you feel like you do and putting coping strategies into place long term will be more beneficial IMO.

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#21 ***Jo***

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 02:24 PM

Hi Alana

Well done for going to the doctors and asking for help.

My son goes to childcare 4 days a week and 1 day at my mums - I work fulltime as well. There is not a day that goes by that I feel completely shit when I drop him off. But I have to work. My husband is taking on more responsibility this year while I am working full time (he works from home) and Liam will behave more for him. Around me these days, he is very whingy.

When I am home I really try to make an effort to just give him all my attention, but what happens is that there is not a lot left over for my husband and oh yes, me!

Its definitely a hard balancing act.

Don't beat yourself up about breastfeeding. I gave up after 8 weeks and its only now a year later I have forgiven myself for giving up so early. There is a lot of guilt associated with taking your baby off the breast which we put upon ourselves. You are NOT selfish. You wanted your body back and look how well you did by growing him in your body. Be proud that you gave your body over to your baby to give him a healthy start in life.

You will be ok. Talk about how you are feeling with your husband, a therapist or your mum. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Thinking of you xx
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#22 Monica

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 02:45 PM

Glad the visit with the doctor went well and he's made some great suggestions.

What mg of tablet are you on? I am only on 20mg (Sam, 100g I'd be smashed)
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#23 bellarosa

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 04:52 PM

Alana, good to hear that your doc is so supportive, sounds like you're got the right things going to get better!

Just a comment on what your mum said... this resonated with me because one of the struggles I had was recognising what it was I was feeling, when Alex was little I tried to tell people how I was struggling but I felt it was just brushed off as 'oh, having a baby is hard and you'll be fine once you get some sleep and a manicure'. I'm not at all dissing what your mum said, people who said variations of that to me were being really supportive but they really didn't understand what I was feeling and that's OK to. I just found for me that I needed my feelings validated to be able to move on and get better. It might seem trivial to others but it's your reality and that is what counts. Don't let anyone feel that what you are experiencing isn't important or difficult or serious because it is! I hope that came across OK as I only mean it in the most positive way.
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#24 SEA

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Posted 31 January 2010 - 06:20 PM

Well done on getting help, Alana. That is the first step smile.gif Like Sam said, the tablets' side effects can last for a few weeks. My side effects went away after about 10 days, but that first day was awful. I'm on 30mg of Cymbalta.

QUOTE(bellarosa @ Jan 30 2010, 05:52 PM) View Post

Just a comment on what your mum said... this resonated with me because one of the struggles I had was recognising what it was I was feeling, when Alex was little I tried to tell people how I was struggling but I felt it was just brushed off as 'oh, having a baby is hard and you'll be fine once you get some sleep and a manicure'. I'm not at all dissing what your mum said, people who said variations of that to me were being really supportive but they really didn't understand what I was feeling and that's OK to. I just found for me that I needed my feelings validated to be able to move on and get better. It might seem trivial to others but it's your reality and that is what counts. Don't let anyone feel that what you are experiencing isn't important or difficult or serious because it is! I hope that came across OK as I only mean it in the most positive way.


I completely agree with you, Bellarosa. At first my parents didn't realise how serious it was, and thought that every new Mum felt like I was feeling. It wasn't until I was completely honest with them that they understood the severity of the situation and things are a lot better now.


#25 toffee

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Posted 06 February 2010 - 06:50 AM

I'm glad you got some help Alana, how are you going now with the meds? Has the fuzziness cleared?





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