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sudden sleep issues

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#1 pink teddies

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 08:32 PM


I have always been super lucky with ryan - he loves to go to bed, never needs to be settled and sleeps well through the night. The only glitches along this path have been the transition to a big bed - which only lasted 3 nights and sometimes when he has been sick, but even then he is usually happiest to be left alone to go to sleep.

The past week Ryan has been more then happy to go to bed, but does not want you to leave the room at all and cries hysterically. we have also had 2 nights of him waking about 11pm and not going back to sleep unless we stay in the room. It all coincided with my grandfather going back to Hervey bay (he had been here a week) and at first we thought he was just upset that Poppy had gone. Then it happened again and I thought maybe his molars, so on the third night I tried panadol before bed... still he wont go to sleep unless you stay with him. We are up to night 4 and DH has been trying to get him to stay in his room and get him to bed since 7:30... he settles, you think he is asleep and just as you are leaving the room he is up and at the door screaming for you to stay.

we have tried just leaving him and he stayed in his doorway for about 20 mins and then crawled out to the lounge room. We took him back to bed and tried closing the door so he couldnt get out - he screamed and screamed... so now DH is in there.. ok he just came out, but only because Ryan finally fell asleep.

Could it be seperation anxiety? Also he has recently changed day care 3 days a week - but he seems to enjoy it. I am just at a loss as to what is causing it and what we can do to get our good sleeper back? We are only a couple of weeks off having a new baby - I dont think I can handle 2 screaming at me every night.

Help please!!!!

#2 creativity


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Posted 18 January 2010 - 09:28 PM

OH Bec!!! I hear you (unfortunately! tongue.gif )

Josh did the same thing at 2.5 and we are still going through it now. I don't know what the answer is. Everytime we have gone to try some of the things you have as well, he ends up hysterical. I would be happy to let him cry if it was just whinging but he really gets worked up!

I'm hoping it will end soon. Like Ryan we have never had problems with Josh at night. He has been sleeping through for AGES, always self-settled, transitioned to bed well, etc, etc, and ever since my mum minded both kids one night that hubby and I had a wedding to go to he has been this way. I thought it was going out that upset him but it was months ago now.

At the time I had a needy baby as well, she would go down ok at the beginning of the night but was waking me a lot overnight for comfort. I'm pretty sure I prob had mild PND at one point ph34r.gif as I was so sleep deprived but I got through it. Now I'm fortunate that Z doesn't need much if any assistance with sleeping and she sleeps through so I am able to spend the time getting Josh off to sleep. And it has to be me if I'm here. He won't even let hubby stay in his room unless there is no choice!

I've spoken to Karitane and my ECN about strategies to wean him off needing me in there but we don't seem to make any progress with them. So for now until I don't know when I get him off to sleep. It's exhausting as by the time I get out of his room it's usually already 8.30 so I have to make sure I eat my dinner before putting him to bed at 7.30 and make sure hubby's dinner is ready for him to eat.

Sorry I don't have any answers. But I do know how you feel. I've never heard of any sleep issues being common around this age but maybe they are? I think it prob is sep anxiety but not sure what triggers it or what development might be associated with it.

I hope Ryan gets through this time quicker than Josh! Let me know how he gets on. xo
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#3 bika


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Posted 18 January 2010 - 10:08 PM

Bec i hope you solve this one quickly, fingers crossed its just a passing phase!

Henry will not fall asleep by himself either, DH or myself has to lie with him until he falls asleep. I understand how annoying it is!

I wonder if he is just feeling anxious because he knows the baby is coming soon? A bit of seperation anxiety? Is he worried about you going to hospital?

#4 Tortoise


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Posted 18 January 2010 - 11:06 PM

Bec, you know I had the same problem with Lily last August/September, so she must have just turned 2. I really feel for you, you must be so tired with the baby being so close.
I wish I could give you a magical solution! It probably is separation anxiety, do you think he can sense changes? Lily would scream like someone was about to kill her if she was left alone. It got so bad that she was waking up at 9pm, 1pm wanting someone with her. I ended up bringing her into our bed. Bad move but I was way too tired to deal with it and having to work. I tried leaving a light on, the door open so that she could see us but no luck. I was so desperate for sleep that I was making hubby sleep on her bedroom floor so that I didn't get woken! I even went and saw a sleep consultant. There's a couple of methods I was advised but to be honest, none sounded great. One was to go in after about 8 mins of crying and just say, go to sleep and leave again and just keep doing this. But I found this wound her up more. The other one was to keep moving further and further away from the bed so eventually you move out of the room. But when Lily was waking up at 1am I was not going to sit in her room! After about 8 weeks of sitting in her room every night. One night after about 2 hours of waiting for her to go to sleep, hubby came out and said, that's it I've had a enough. She cried for about 2 minutes and then went to sleep. Next night same thing and she's been fine since. We were kicking ourselves that we didn't try to leave sooner!! So I'd say it's just a phase. You can try and talk to Ryan before he goes to bed and reassure him, this helped Lily stay calm.
Hope Ryan can get back to his lovely sleeping habits quickly!!

#5 varkat


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Posted 19 January 2010 - 06:34 AM

Hey Bec,

A did this too, and it all coincided with me being about 5 weeks to go in the pregnancy and L coming along. They can sense that there is a big change about to happen in their world. It lasted until L was about 4 weeks old. It was extremely exhausting and hard to put up with. Drove me mad. She would go to bed at 730, stuff around until about 1030 or 11, then wake again at 2 and REFUSED to go back to sleep until about 530 or 6 in the morning! Very draining and I was getting NO sleep.

Anyway, that's my experience with the sleep issues. I hope it stops sooner for you though.

Take Care,

Kat x
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#6 Heidi


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Posted 19 January 2010 - 06:35 AM

Elijah's recently been doing a similar thing. I tend to think they pick up on changes that are going on? (I'm newly pregnant and whilst he doesn't know, I'm sure he's picking up the fact that I'm different at the moment). Elijah's never had trouble settling himself or sleeping through the night but the last 2 weeks he's woken a few times at about 1am and cries until he gets a cuddle. He's happy then to go back to sleep but then wakes again after 40mins a couple of times. Each time I go in there he says 'mummy and daddy gone' so I think he's definitely going through a bit of separation anxiety.

It seems to happen more often when he's had a quiet day and isn't as tired so maybe try wearing your little one out at the playground or something and see if it makes a difference? I wish I had more suggestions to help, but I know how you feel sad.gif
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#7 pink teddies

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 07:26 AM

Thanks for the suggestions girls... I also hope that it is just a phase and that he is picking up on the changes. touch wood - but he hasnt been waking through the night other then the first 2 nights.

Tortoise - the issue that we have with leaving the room is that he is in a bed, so he just gets up. Last night we left him and he sat in the doorway and then he crawled out and layed under his table in the dining room. We are basically putting him back to bed and saying sweet dreams and we will be here in the morning.

Heidi - with the Seperation anxiety - the first night he woke up Heidi he kept saying "poppy gone" and was really sad about it. When we go to leave the room now he keeps saying Stay stay... with tiring him out he does play lots all day and is a very much on the move little boy so I dont think he is not tired enough.

Bec - I can only imagine, it is hard because we have always been lucky to have a good sleeper... although sometimes early riser! I do think that he knows that a baby is coming - we have the basinette up just recently and while he is excited about a baby I think he knows a big change is coming.

OMG Kat - I am so glad that A improved eventually, it would be so impossible to still be going through that.

Creativity - thank you for sharing your story - it does help to know that I am not alone. I have noticed that Ryan has recently become very possesive of me and I think that it contributes to some of the sleep issues we are having. initially it was when I put him down he was being difficult, but was fine with DH putting him to bed, but now it is just a constant.

I hope that we all sort these sleep issues out soon!! Thank you again for all your replies - we will keep trying different things and I will update on how it is going.

#8 ~steph~


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Posted 19 January 2010 - 07:36 AM

Could he be having nightmares and now being scared??? I know Hayden is a year older, but he has always been a dream sleeper then he started freaking out when we took him to bed and eventually we were able to work out he was scared of the dinosaurs he had dreamed about.
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#9 *****030812


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Posted 19 January 2010 - 07:47 AM

Bec, now that you have typed it all out, Taylor was like that recently. We just basically did what we had to do to get her to stay in bed and fall asleep.

Believe it or not, that was as simple as hubby leaving her door ajar and the hallway light on and saying he had to come and see me about something...(but we'd already had a few nights of going in/out etc)........so now when she goes to bed, we leave the hallway light on until we go to check her later, or at least for an hour.

I don't think it lasted any longer than a week for us (tho just guessing) but, if Ryan has teething issues as well, it might last longer.

Hope he goes back to his beautiful sleeping self soon oixo

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