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#16 SEA

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Posted 30 December 2009 - 05:08 PM

I'm really sorry to hear this Em sad.gif

I hope it is a fresh new start on the road to happiness for you, Jordan and Ash. We're all here for you xx

#17 brightspark

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 02:20 PM

I'm sorry to hear this news Em, however I'm sure that you have done what's best for you and your family, hope things work out. Stay strong and lean on your support network to get through the tough times.
I thought I knew you so well,
After all I have seen inside your hands and feet, your brain and your heart,
Yet everyday you amaze me...


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#18 AK2

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 06:32 PM

Em, I'm really sorry to hear this. It must have been such a hard decision, but sounds like you are being responsible about it and putting your family first.

Be good to yourself over the coming weeks & months.

#19 ellemjaye

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 08:03 PM

I'm very sorry to hear your sad news sad.gif

I separated from my (now-ex) husband in May of last year. It's a tough road to travel - being a single parent is a crazy warp zone of being stuck halfway between family-land and singledom.

Look after yourself xx

#20 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 08:40 PM

Thanks ladies. It's been a tough week so far. I'm not really coping very well, and don't really feel very supported by friends. I think because I'm known as a strong person who battles her way through anything people don't think I need help or a message every now and then to see how I'm doing. However they all seem to be keeping in touch with Braden to see how he is coping sad.gif

i feel like I am not allowed to feel sad or have a tough time because I'm the one that initiated the break up? Yes ok, I ended it, but I'm still missing him when he isn't here, trying to be strong when Ashton sits at the window looking outside crying waiting for
daddy to pull up, and I'm still crying myself to sleep every night. Just because I ended it doesn't mean I'm not sad.

Sorry for the wah wah, I just don't have anyone else to talk to sad.gif
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#21 MsGems

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 08:48 PM

Oh Em sad.gif
It's always hard when people don't understand that it's hard being the one to break things off, and not just hard for the person who's been broken up with.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat.
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#22 scary_girl

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 09:02 PM

Emma I'm so sorry sad.gif - I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is.

I think you have every right to feel sad - just because you initiated it doesn't mean that there wasn't problems there to begin with.

I'm always here if you need to chat! Feel free to PM me at any time.

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#23 stacie

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 09:30 PM

Em, if your IRL friends aren't being supportive to you, then always remember that we are here for you. Anytime you want to talk or cry you can always PM anyone of us.

Try not to expect any more of yourself - just get through each day. Thats all that matters at the moment.
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#24 * MsSassy *

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Posted 07 January 2010 - 09:03 AM

Hi Em,

I can complete relate to how you're feelings. However for me it probably took me a good 3 months for it all to sink in properly. With lots of ups and downs along the way.

I still have them and for me adjusting to being single is a huge step and has been a long process.

It is especially hard when you dont feel like you have the support of your friends. But if you can look deep inside yourself and know that you have done the right thing then it really shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. If your friends want to take "B" side of it, then it just shows their inability to see both sides of a story. Trust me, I have experienced this myself.

I send you lots of strength and love and warm virtual hugs. Take each day as it comes.

If you wanna cry, make sure you cry. If you feel angry, feel angry. Just remember to let each of these feelings go as they pass. You must experience them as they are all apart of the grieving process.

#25 Porthos

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Posted 08 January 2010 - 06:41 PM

Em I can't believe I have only just seen this, where have I been hiding? sad.gif

Just because the separation was your idea doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel sad, of course you are. I wish your friends IRL were being a bit more supportive. The end of a serious relationship is always difficult for bnoth parties and both parties need suport. I'm glad it's sounding amicable - I just wish you were getting more support.

So sorry it took me so long to get my butt in here. Thinking of you lots xxxx

#26 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 08 January 2010 - 07:46 PM

aww thanks mummy twinnies wub.gif

I'm actually doing really well. Every day presents itself with a new set of challenges but I'm doing OK!

The frustrating thing at the moment is that B seems to be here as much as he was when he lived here blink.gif which in part I don't mind because I told him he can see Ash as much as he wants... but when he is here, he has a sleep, a bath, sits outside and smokes, whinges when I ask him to feed/change/bath ash etc... and I just want to slap him. If he is here, then its to spend time with his son. Not act like he still lives here and do nothing with Smash.

And... when he is here, he is constantly trying to talk about things. I've told him numerous times that yes, we will be trying to work through things, but I need some time first. He is constantly trying to push it. And says things like "oh, sleeping on the fold out bed at D's house is really hurting my back". pfft. like thats gonna work. My repsonse was "take your bed then" laugh.gif

I don't want to seem like a heartless bitch, but I need some time to myself to work through things on my own before I start trying to work through things with him, you know? He just doesn't get that.
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#27 scary_girl

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Posted 08 January 2010 - 08:00 PM

Sounds like he isn't giving you any space at all. I'm not sure what the best way to handle the situation is - if you push to hard to make him give you space it could make things awkward around Ash, but it sounds like you need some boundaries otherwise you are never going to figure things out in your head.

I hope you can communicate how important it is for you to have some space.

Hugs xx

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#28 Porthos

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 08:05 PM

Em, I don't want to sound harsh but maybe you need to ask B NOT to come around for a week or two? If he wants to spend time with Ash couldn't he pick him up and they go for a walk / adventure / some sort of 'out of the house' activity?

Because you definitely need some time to yourself to figure stuff out before you can figure it out with B. Him being there all day like normal isn't helping, it's just prolonging. If life is basically the same as when he was there there is no point in him being gone!

Sorry that might be a bit harsh and I haven't gone through a break up for a while so I am bit out of touch blush.gif But I don't think things will get better if life is just staying the same. You deserve some time out to sort your head and heart out and I personally think B needs to respect that, however hard that may be.

Still big hugs coming your way Chickie xxxxx

#29 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 08:33 PM

No not harsh at all, you're exactly right. And I've TRIED to get that through his head but he just doesn't get it and takes it as an attack that I am trying to come between him and Ashton rolleyes.gif

I've decided I'm going to do up a 'roster' with an even spread of him here with Ash and I'll go elsewhere, him taking Ash for the day, and one, maybe two days with all of us here. Its the only way I think its gonna happen.
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#30 toffee

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 09:11 PM

QUOTE(xxEmxx @ Jan 10 2010, 09:33 PM) View Post

I've decided I'm going to do up a 'roster' with an even spread of him here with Ash and I'll go elsewhere, him taking Ash for the day, and one, maybe two days with all of us here. Its the only way I think its gonna happen.


I think that would be great for Ash, & as an added bonus, great for yourself too wink.gif




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