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#1 creativity

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:10 PM

I am at my wits end. Not only have I been sleep deprived for the past 8 months with my daughter now, just as Zoe is getting better, Josh just turns hysterical at every bed time. I've worn out the floor with the amount of times I have had to take him back to bed and I just can't do it any more. It starts off almost as a joke where he comes out with a smirk on his face, to the point where currently he is in his room nearly choking himself from crying with my husband in there because he wants me. I don't know what's happened. He used to go down so easily with hardly any issues. It gets to about 9pm every night and I haven't been able to do anything that I need to get done and sometimes not even dinner.

I'm about ready to pack it all in. I'm just so exhausted and over it all.

Has any one had similar experience?

I'm reluctant to lay down with him everynight as I don't want it to become habit and I have Zoe to attend to as well and am often doing bed time on my own where it's just not possible to lay down with either of them.
Josh 13.02.07 | Zoe 04.10.08 | Ben 14.11.11



#2 Mel B

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:19 PM

Is he still having a day sleep? Rosie started yelling out a hundred times a night (always for me rolleyes.gif ) around the same age. When I finally relented after about 4 months and ditched the day sleep all was solved. She goes off at 7.30 without a peep now.

If he's not sleeping in the day then I'd try to wear him out in the afternoons. Take him to the park, get him to do jumping - anything to really tire him out.

Have you tried a star chart to reward him for staying in bed?

Hugs to you, I hope something works for you soon.
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#3 ~R~

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:28 PM

Oh V, sounds like VERY hard work sad.gif

I echo Mel B's suggestions & also, does he have a special toy you could almost introduce as a sleeping aid? I don't want to jinx myself here but I'm convinced that one of the big reasons Indi has been so easy to put to bed is she has her teddy companion every night & therefore doesn't need us unless she's sick really. Just anything that will make him feel secure in your absence?

#4 creativity

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:32 PM

Oh goodness no! Not the day sleep - my sanity!

He does have a day sleep. Sleeps for 1.5 to 2 hours usually. He carried on for that too today, and has done for a few weeks.....I think I will go insane if I can't have a break from him all day. He seriously doesn't have an off button. He is non-stop all day. Maybe I should try it one day.

At my mums place ( she has him 2 days a week) he sleeps in a cot still and sleeps beautifully in there. On the weekend he had a sleep there for nearly 3 hours! rolleyes.gif Needless to say, last night was up the creek.

I'm really losing the plot here. Hubby is lying down with him now and he's going to sleep.

What do you do to occupy a toddler aaaaaaaaaaaall day? wacko.gif blink.gif laugh.gif

QUOTE(~ Rachael ~ @ Sep 7 2009, 08:28 PM) View Post

Oh V, sounds like VERY hard work sad.gif

I echo Mel B's suggestions & also, does he have a special toy you could almost introduce as a sleeping aid? I don't want to jinx myself here but I'm convinced that one of the big reasons Indi has been so easy to put to bed is she has her teddy companion every night & therefore doesn't need us unless she's sick really. Just anything that will make him feel secure in your absence?

I wish he would sleep with something. rolleyes.gif Since he was a baby he has never seemed to attach to anything in particular toy wise that I have tried to introduce. Only his dummy and me really. He still has his dummy, which I'd love to be rid of but since that was his only 'thing' I've put it off especially since we have had a few major things happening like Zoe's arrival and moving house etc.

I might still give it a go......

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'm just so tired of it all and want to run away. Everything just seems like too much hard work at the moment. happy.gif
Josh 13.02.07 | Zoe 04.10.08 | Ben 14.11.11



#5 ~R~

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:42 PM

I know what you mean about not wanting to be rid of the day sleep but it does sound like he's getting to the point where he doesn't need it & it's impacting on his ability to wind down at night.

My only suggestion to give you some sanity & a break during the day is to perhaps let him have some quiet time for an hour or so in his room. Providing he can't get up to any mischief, let him know it's quiet time, he can play with his toys etc or play on his bed and keep his door closed?

Most of the time India doesn't have a day sleep at home (but does the 3 days p/w she's in daycare) but I still put her in her room and she's happy to do all of the things I described above. I didn't plan it like that, it just kind of happened but it works for us. She is happy to be in her room alone & do her own thing so I guess it depends on whether Josh is ok with this too?

That's all I've got sorry!! Good luck!!

#6 Mel B

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:47 PM

Well firstly you turn the TV on more often laugh.gif

I was also dreading losing the day sleep, hence why I held out for so long before getting rid of it!! I had a lovely 2 hour break every day. But then I was losing 2 or more hours in the evenings and it was so stressful and we were all miserable. After the 5th time I'd go in and Rosie would be saying "You're not cross are you Mummy?" and oh it was awful. Life is so much better now.

Rosie is a pretty easy kid really so I know it isn't the same for everyone. I still kind of break the day down into sections. So mornings we go out and do an activity or go to the park or whatever. Then during Eddie's sleep time I let her watch some TV, so that gives me a bit of down time. And then we do some "big girl" activity like craft or puzzles. Sometimes we go in the garden if I'm feeling energetic, but usually I save that for after Eddie wakes up. And then when he wakes up around 3.30 we do something outdoors or occasionally on a blissful day they will start playing together. Then from 4.30 the TV goes back on while I prepare dinner, then dinner at 5.30, bath & bed at 7.30.

I find that Rosie is a lot less demanding when she has my undivided attention while Eddie is asleep. We have some really nice times together.

Perhaps try it for an odd day here or there and see if it makes a difference to his night time. If you don't want to ditch it altogether perhaps you could limit his sleep to an hour. I was hopeless at doing that so I just went cold turkey when she was 2 & 9 mths. Be warned though it will take some time to adjust and there will be some grumoy times for a week or 2. But she got over that and although she occsaionally falls asleep on the couch at 5pm, generally she copes very well.

Good luck, I hope it works for you!
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#7 creativity

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:53 PM

Heheh! The telly is already probably overused here! tongue.gif

Thing is at the moment I think he still really needs a sleep. He has been waking anywhere between 5.30 and 6.30 in the mornings and one morning ended up falling asleep in the car at around 11.30am. He would be so wasted I think without a sleep, but maybe he will surprise me. I think if he goes back to sleeping until 7 in the mornings then I could live without the daysleep.


I don't know. He's off to my mums tomorrow so I'll just see what happens tomorrow night. Maybe it's just a bad few nights. rolleyes.gif

Thanks girls. Will let you know how I get on. Sorry for my babble but I can hardly string sentences together any more I'm so tired. happy.gif
Josh 13.02.07 | Zoe 04.10.08 | Ben 14.11.11



#8 Mel B

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 08:57 PM

Oh I forgot to mention that was the other benefit - she started sleeping until at least 7am. Sometimes it's 7.45 biggrin.gif She gets 12 solid hours of good quality sleep instead of 3 hrs crying followed by 9 hrs of sleeping.

I was convinced she needed the day sleep too, but she did surprise me.

No need to apologise - we've all been there smile.gif
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#9 creativity

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 09:02 PM

QUOTE(Mel B @ Sep 7 2009, 08:57 PM) View Post

Oh I forgot to mention that was the other benefit - she started sleeping until at least 7am. Sometimes it's 7.45 biggrin.gif She gets 12 solid hours of good quality sleep instead of 3 hrs crying followed by 9 hrs of sleeping.

Bliss!! I might go and dream about that tonight, sounds good! Can't wait to go back to those days.

Thanks again. I really appreciate your advice. I really needed to cool down and hear from others and you've helped me to do that. smile.gif

I'm off to eat some dinner now finally.

ph34r.gif Hubby hasn't come out of Josh's room yet....
Josh 13.02.07 | Zoe 04.10.08 | Ben 14.11.11



#10 ~steph~

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 09:04 PM

We had the same issue with Hayden and I hate to say it we also solved it with dropping the day sleep sad.gif
Maybe instead of dropping the day sleep entirely try restricting it to an hour and see how that goes??
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#11 *****030812

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 09:11 PM

V, Taylor went through this not long ago. I seriously thought it was going to last forever. I ended up reducing her day sleep by 30 minutes to see if that would help, but then went back to the full 2.5 hrs as she got back to her usual self.


I wouldn't go completely dropping the day sleep. Try waking him 30 minutes earlier for a few days and see what happens.


Hope it passes soon oxo


#12 karry327

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 08:58 PM

Oh no, you poor love!!

What time is he going down for his day sleep? Perhaps bring it forward a little so there's a bigger gap till his night sleep and he's hopefully more tired? Or make sure he's completely worn out before his night sleep.

If all else fails, you may need to drop the day sleep. Maybe you could buy a few special books or toys that he can only use in an hour of quiet time or maybe a special movie he could watch!!!

Let us know how it goes!

#13 creativity

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 10:39 PM

I actually got a call from Karitane a week ago. I was on their referral list with Zoe. I explained that she was actually settling a lot better and that it was now Josh giving me grief at bed time. They told me that with toddlers displaying his behaviour the strategy they use is that you sit on the end of their bed until they fall asleep, then with your back to them, eventually moving to a chair and then out of the room.

Once he's asleep he's fine, so I've been using the above strategy but it means that by the time I'm out of his room it's already 8-8.30pm. I'm not getting a lot of 'me' time really and I find that really hard. I really need it in order to recharge and have the energy for another day.

Karla, he is going down around 1-1.30 at the moment. and only sleeps about and 1-1.5 hours. He seems to sleep longer at my mums when he is there and he sleeps in a cot there rather than a bed like at home. He definitely really needs the sleep I think. While I have been staying in his room with him he doesn't seem to take that long to get to sleep, he just wants me in the room with him. I guess I just have to live with it for now and hope that this will pass soon. At least I'm getting more blocks of sleep now with Zoe more settled.

I just haven't been myself lately. Disturbed sleep for months on end has really taken its toll on me. I just didn't expect things to turn out this way...so I don't know what's hit me. Hopefully things are finally looking up.

ETA: I should say that all the problems seem to be at night time. He has thankfully been not too bad during the day. Although, crazily, he asks me to turn his lamp on for his day sleep, but doesn't ask for it to be on at night......crazy child!
Josh 13.02.07 | Zoe 04.10.08 | Ben 14.11.11



#14 shelly1170

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Posted 15 September 2009 - 05:40 AM

Can't comment on the hysterics, sorry Virginia!

But for the day sleeps. We've stopped them for Penny. She was turning her room upside down every nap time and stopping poor Abi from sleeping! So she stays up and the TV usually goes on. Or if she's being too feral (or if I need a break!), she goes into her high chair to watch TV or draw. Gives me time to do stuff I need to do... like eat and drink coffee!!

Penny does like to get out of bed and get up to mischief! Our key words are "quietly and calmly". We go in and say "nigh nigh time. Off to bed" and put her back. Usually only have to do it a few times as she soon figures out it's boring.

Both the girls are "lights off" girls. No night lights here! It wasn't a conscious decision, just something that happened and works for us. The dark seems to be the biggest sleep cue of all.

All the pre-schools we checked out have said they don't do day sleeps so she'd need to be out of it by next year anyway.

Our girls are in bed around 7PM every night and usually wake sometime around 6:30-7AM.


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#15 **Bee**

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Posted 15 September 2009 - 12:53 PM

sad.gif sorry to hear that your so tired. Its hard working looking after 2 kids thats for sure. We dont want our babies to grow up to fast but getting some good nights sleep again sounds lovely doesnt it?? rolleyes.gif

We had to do the same as some of the others girls have said.... Drop the day sleep blink.gif I know it sounds horrible but I find Breanna really sleeps alot better without it. She is to tired come 730 to fight sleep. Most nights without the day sleep we put her to bed at 7. I was sick of the fighting every night dry.gif Like you I had no time to myself. In the day I just lay her on the lounge with a pillow and put a movie on. She knows to sit down and watch the movie and let me have some time now smile.gif Every now and again she thinks its funny to run around the house waiting for me to catch her rolleyes.gif
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