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Daughter freaked out in puberty talk at school


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#1 Bethmd

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 09:02 PM

Oh lordy if it isn't one child giving me grief at the moment it is the other. I know it is the age but geez give me a break.
So the yr 6 class was having a lesson on hormones etc, how things change etc. Miss 11 apparently way over reacted & said it was "Gross, disgusting" etc. At one stage she left the class in tears. Said she was to young to be learning this & told the teacher she was scared.
I braced the subject with her & she totally clammed up & cried & just told me she was scared.
Neither of us know how to handle this.
Anyone else been through this? Any suggestions.
Teacher is worried she will hate being in class over it & I just want her to realise it is all natural & happens to everyone.
HELP
Thanks
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#2 ***Jo***

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 09:27 PM

Beth I remember I was an early developer and had to wear a bra in Year 6 and got my period in Year 7. I got teased terribly.

Maybe she is scared of these changes and being a bit different amongst her school friends when it happens.

Kids don't like change at the best of times and this is the biggest change of all. I guess something like your body changing is out of her comfort zone and she's not sure how to deal with it.

I remember my mum took me bra shopping and bought me sanitary pads. She made it out to be a very special time in my life to look forward to and tried to get me excited about it. I was unsure and didn't want it to happen. I guess at the end of the day I was scared of being 'different', but the best thing my mum did was be open with me and let me know I could always talk to her about it and maybe that's the best advice. Just be there for her and keep reassuring her.

Good luck!

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#3 * MsSassy *

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 10:28 PM

Beth,

If it were me in your situation I would be inclined to find out why she is scared. What particular aspects of the information scared her? See if maybe she feels embarrassed about what happens with the female body (I know I felt this way). If she still clams up, then I would leave the issue for a week and then reapproach but in a casual manner. In the car when you are travelling somewhere. Try and relate to her as well. Tell her about the way you felt when you started learning about puberty and the female body. Don't make her feel like its invalid to feel the way she currently does. Sympathise/Empathise with her. Explain that this change (when it happens) will probably make her feel weird/strange/funny and that it is ok to feel that way and if she wants to and when she's ready you can talk to her about it more.

#4 BaliJess

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 10:36 PM

Does she like reading ?? are there any books on the topic, I know its very old fashioned now but something like "Are you there god, its me Margaret" I remember reading that or is there a teen movie?? sorry am a bit clueless tongue.gif

I remember being embarrassed about periods and getting boobs but my Mum never really had 'the talk' with me so I had no idea what to expect so it seemed so scary. I think I was scared because it was like it a was a hidden topic so therefore something to be frightened of, I had never seen a pad or tampon till I got my period! freaked me right out.
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#5 pinkbutterfly

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 11:11 PM

QUOTE(BaliJess @ Jun 19 2009, 10:36 PM) View Post

"Are you there god, its me Margaret"

Oh my god! I absolutely LOVED this book when I was about 12-13. I am sure there is an equivalent now. And for mine, you really cant go past "What's happening to Me" It has to be 30 years old but it is so well written that it stands the test of time and is stil used by the family planning clinics. I've already bought a copy for Audrey for when the time comes wink.gif hehehehe

Also write to the sanitary companies. I think there is a webiste www.libragirl.com.au (I think, not sure, you might have to google) and you can send away for a funky little pencil case filled with sanitary products and a couple of brochures, aimed at girls who are at that age.

Maybe she has noticed some of these little changes already starting to occur and she is worried. Or maybe she is noticing some fo her classmates starting to blossom a bit early and feels like she is being left behind. Maybe you could have a special Mummy Daughter day just the two of you, get a pedicure or something and then have a little casual chat about it.
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#6 Bethmd

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 08:20 AM

Thanks ladies, the kids have "Where did I come from" & "What is happening to me" I have never read the Margaret book, not even sure what it is about so I will look into it.
Most of the girls wear bras & I am sure some of them have their periods already. Not sure how much it is discussed amongst them all though.
Will check out the libra girl site.
Thanks for the replies ladies.
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#7 ~*Lanie*~

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 09:15 AM

If you're after a good book for her try Girl Stuff by Kaz Cooke. My daughter thought it was great. And we went through the chapters together smile.gif
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#8 Bethmd

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 02:21 PM

We are sitting next to each other at the moment on the 2 computers & I said "Oh Mel I found a website for you this morning" I directed her to "Libra Girl" She took one look at the site & was like "Oh wow this looks like a cool site" I think it was the colour & the cartoonish pic that got her in. She is in the process of signing to the site & signing up for a free starter pack. She has no idea what the site is about yet but I think I will just let her read & figure it out.
Will have a look around for the books mentioned.
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#9 Daybreak

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 04:02 PM

QUOTE(Bethmd @ Jun 20 2009, 08:20 AM) View Post

Thanks ladies, the kids have "Where did I come from" & "What is happening to me" I have never read the Margaret book, not even sure what it is about so I will look into it.
Most of the girls wear bras & I am sure some of them have their periods already. Not sure how much it is discussed amongst them all though.
Will check out the libra girl site.
Thanks for the replies ladies.

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret is a novel by Judy Blume told from the point of view of a girl going through puberty. It's pretty old now - I think it was written in the 70s, or maybe even earlier - but the feelings and changes are still relevant. If you ask at your local book shop there may be a more recent book along similar lines which may suit your daughter better depending on her tastes.
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#10 Bethmd

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 04:47 PM

Well she got all excited & signed up & then when she read it she freaked out & left the computer.
Well she knows the site is there at least.
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#11 Bethmd

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 05:46 PM

I just saw her talking on MSN to a friend & when I asked what she was talking about she said she told her friend about the site & the friend wanted to sign up then about 5mins later she came up to me & gave me a kiss on the cheek & thanked me for the site!!!
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#12 TEN

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 07:03 PM



I agree that 'Girl Stuff' is a good book. It wasn't around when I was that age (I don't think), but a lady I work with bought it for her daughter when she was younger, and we also have a copy at work.

#13 pinkbutterfly

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Posted 20 June 2009 - 09:35 PM

QUOTE(Bethmd @ Jun 20 2009, 05:46 PM) View Post

I just saw her talking on MSN to a friend & when I asked what she was talking about she said she told her friend about the site & the friend wanted to sign up then about 5mins later she came up to me & gave me a kiss on the cheek & thanked me for the site!!!

Thats great. She's talking to you about it, even if it is only a little bit. Knowing the site is there might be good too. She can go back when you arent sitting next to her and have a look by herself.
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#14 Bethmd

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Posted 21 June 2009 - 11:02 AM

Got home from breakfast this morning & guess what site she was on????
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#15 e*liz

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Posted 21 June 2009 - 12:11 PM

QUOTE(Bethmd @ Jun 20 2009, 05:46 PM) View Post

I just saw her talking on MSN to a friend & when I asked what she was talking about she said she told her friend about the site & the friend wanted to sign up then about 5mins later she came up to me & gave me a kiss on the cheek & thanked me for the site!!!


That is so fantastic, you've obviously found a way for her to find some information that feels non-threatening. The great thing about a website or book is that she can learn at her own pace and doesn't have to talk to you about it until she's ready. I also think the Kaz Cooke 'Girl Stuff' book is great. She also has an older one called "Real Gorgeous' which is also good for girls going through puberty. I know quite a few school libraries have it so it might be worth a look.




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