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#1 Lucy HL

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Posted 30 September 2008 - 02:56 PM

This is my first post in here. sad.gif

I feel like I am ready for a completely new start in my life but what did you do with your engagement and wedding rings or your wedding dress? A couple of my friends have said I should get the diamond in my e-ring made into a pendant but would this be weird? They have said "it's still a diamond!" At the end of the day it is a beautiful stone but the fact is that it still has all the "marriage" thing attached to it and wearing it would make me feel strange (at the moment) and that it was still part of the marriage. Is that really a clean slate or fresh start by keeping it.

#2 Hope


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Posted 30 September 2008 - 03:01 PM

Good on you for starting to get on with your life, it must be such a hard time, and you are being so strong. I don't think you should rush into anything with you rings just yet. Right now your feelings are probably still very raw. Perhaps put them into a drawer for now and wait, eventually you may want to have something made, or you may want to get rid of them completely. You will know what to do when the time is right. smile.gif

#3 * Kylie *

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Posted 30 September 2008 - 03:26 PM

Good on you for getting to this point. smile.gif I know it's terribly hard but it's all progress. And it's not the best section to be in, I know. sad.gif

I have had a similar struggle with my engagement ring. It's a beautiful ring and it's beena year since the breakup and I have worn it once or twice. I still feel funny though. I don't want to really get it made into anything new, but I am contemplating just selling the main diamond and using the other little ones to make a plain band, so I can hopefully get some money for it.

Selling it was not working for me, I wasn't offered anywhere near what I would be happy to sell for, so at the moment I will hang onto it and hope it gets stolen so I can at least get insurance money. laugh.gif That was a joke. smile.gif

I know it's so hard when there are all these big things that just hold so many memories, and meaning. I also have my wedding dress, and although never worn I've got no idea what to do.
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#4 almost there...

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Posted 30 September 2008 - 03:57 PM

I agree with Hope, put them away for now and when the time comes you will know what to do with them.

I wasnt in the same situation as you. When my ex and I split there was no ring to worry about as we had got stuffed around by our jeweller so much that we had already got our money back. But if I did have a ring, I think I would have got the diamond put into a necklace or earings. I agree that it would feel strange to wear again, but it is not a time of my life that I want to completely forget, so many of those memories are still special to me. So I would like to keep it as a reminder, but not in the form of an engagment ring. This is just me though. Like I said, I think eventually you will know what you want to do.

As for the wedding dress, I have no idea sorry, I never got that far. I would think that I would have sold it, but I'm not sure.

Congratulations on the start of this new chapter in your life, and best of luck. Come and join us in the single girls thread sometime smile.gif

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#5 MegLegs


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Posted 30 September 2008 - 06:10 PM

QUOTE(almost there... @ Sep 30 2008, 03:27 PM) View Post

Congratulations on the start of this new chapter in your life, and best of luck. Come and join us in the single girls thread sometime smile.gif

I agree with Lara, when you're ready, please come and join us in the singles thread wub.gif

I've been through a divorce and still have my rings, they're still sitting in the ashtray of my car actually laugh.gif It's coming up to 3years since we've split up and I've not done anything with my rings; I was tempted to at one stage, but have since decided to hang onto them and give them to Logan when he's older. He was created with our love, so giving him something that represents that I am sure would be something very special to him one day.

My only advice is to not make any rash decisions just yet. I came so close to just doing something so that my rings were not my 'rings' anymore and I am so glad that I didn't, whether I had Logan or not. Just maybe hold onto them or put them in a safe place for a while until you know 100% what you want to do with them, and then go for it.

Good luck and please, feel free to join us single girls. We're a great support network for eachother and we all share similar stories smile.gif
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#6 *Ali*


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Posted 30 September 2008 - 08:03 PM

Good for you hun. I know how much courage this takes. And I agree with Lara and Megan, please feel free to come join our singles thread when you feel ready. The girls in there are an amazing form of support. They are all amazing, strong beautiful girls.

As for your rings, like the others said, I would wait to make your decision. I sold mine. Got next to nothing for it though dry.gif but I couldn't hold onto it. To me it represented a time in my life I had to move on from. I just wanted it gone. But, that's me and my situation was probably different to yours.

I had 2 wedding dresses. I sold one and am still trying to sell the other one. I also had heaps of wedding related stuff and I have slowly sold most of it off. I feel like it's all bad jew jew.

If you ever need someone to talk to hun, my PM box is always open, or FB if that's easier.

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#7 MsGems


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Posted 30 September 2008 - 09:01 PM

QUOTE(MegLegs @ Sep 30 2008, 06:10 PM) View Post

still have my rings, they're still sitting in the ashtray of my car actually laugh.gif

laugh.gif My wedder is in the centre console of my car. Great minds wink.gif

I sold my engagement and 'eternity' (they were a wedder set, but I chose to use the wedder as the eternity band) late last year. I had no attachment to them, and was made a reasonable offer, so accepted it. It felt a little odd handing them over, but I handed them over nonetheless knowing that they'd be going to someone who would appreciate them much more than I would. From memory, I did that about 6-8 months after we separated.

I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting any money for my actual wedder, and as I said, it's still sitting in my car. I was originally going to take it back to dad's with me when I went down last year, and bury it in the yard of his house (was the 'marital home'), but forgot to take it with me. S has suggested taking me on a deep-sea fishing trip and dropping it overboard, but that hasn't happened yet. I'll find the right thing to do with it one day, I don't just want to throw it in the bin or anything. 'til then, I'll keep it out of eyesight and just keep on keeping on.

Good luck with it all smile.gif You'll know the right thing to do when the time's right smile.gif

#8 RubyTuesday


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Posted 30 September 2008 - 09:36 PM

I too couldnt keep my rings from when I first got married ten yrs ago.

I sold them and got next to nothing for them.. $200 all up, but originally paid $1600.. But I felt no desire to hold onto something that represented a life I no longer wanted to be a part of..

Good luck with your new journey. You have a great support network on here smile.gif
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#9 RosiePosie



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Posted 30 September 2008 - 09:53 PM

I don't have any advice - my engagement ring is still at my mum's somewhere from the day I took it off. My wedding dress is there too somewhere. I don't want to see either of them again.

I traded in my wedding ring though. It was quite cathartic at the time smile.gif

I've asked my XH to keep our wedding album and a few other sentimental items at his place for our son when he's older.

Good luck with everything Lucy. It's a really difficult time but also one of hope for a brighter, happier future smile.gif
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#10 *C*



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Posted 01 October 2008 - 10:12 AM

You are very brave for beginning your single journey.

I know what you mean about wanting a "fresh start". When we separated I stored my wedding album and wedding dress at my parents house so I didn't have to deal with it.

We have been separated for over 2 years, divorced for over 1 and I only now feel completely happy to sell my wedding dress and have made attempts to do so.

As for my rings, they hold no sentimental value to me anymore, although it took me a while and a lot of soul searching to reach that point. I would sell them if I thought I would get a reasonable amount of money. My thoughts at the moment are I will hold onto them and when I have a little more money will make them into something pretty. At the moment they are just sitting in a tallboy drawer.

It really is a very personal choice what you decide to do. If I can give any advice at all, I would suggest, hold onto them all for a bit longer and make a decision based on reason, not a rash one.

Best of luck!!! xxxxxx

#11 aChocLover


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Posted 17 August 2009 - 08:16 PM

Good luck with your brave step, here's to you making some beautiful new memories!

Re the rings - I still have my engagement ring, from 9 years ago. I too toyed with the idea of making a pendant and earrings with the diamonds.

Instead, I've kept them - as I hold no emotional attachment and am not busting for the money, I have told my younger brother that he can have them if/when he chooses to propose to his girlfriend. He wouldn't be able to afford a nice engagement ring, so I figured that if he doesn't feel weird about using them, then they're his to have.

#12 AliBear


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Posted 09 September 2009 - 02:19 PM

My marriage was really bad & as bad as it sound, my friends & family are throwing me a divorce party once it's all finalised.

I found what's called a Ring Cofin, to put my rings in & I'm either going to bury it, cremate it or send it out to sea. As for my wedding dress, my ex husband shreaded it just after I left him, so I have no choice in that one. My situation might be different because although Im greiving for the fact that I had a failed marriage in my life, I'm not as attached to the marriage itself because it was so bad.

Hope you come to peace with what you want to do with it. Just don't do anything with it all until you're 100% sure of it.


QUOTE(MsGems @ Sep 30 2008, 07:01 PM) View Post

laugh.gif My wedder is in the centre console of my car. Great minds wink.gif

Mines there too laugh.gif
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#13 nephthys


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Posted 09 September 2009 - 10:06 PM

Did anyone notice this thread was started a year ago? laugh.gif

I hope you're going okay Lucy!

#14 pinkbutterfly


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Posted 09 September 2009 - 10:33 PM

I noticed Nep. But I didnt notice it last year wink.gif

My mum has been divorced from my father for the best part of 30 years. She still has her engagement, wedding and eternity rings, and various other bits of jewellery Dad bought her. She knows she'll get nothign for them, but wants to pass them on to me or Audrey. Seems odd to me because she hates my father with so much venom. But, goes to show that you dont HAVE to get rid of things.
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#15 Arial


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Posted 11 September 2009 - 10:56 PM

I saw Lucy's name and came into the thread as I was wondering how she was the other day.
Lucy I hope you are well.

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