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mother interfering!!!


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#1 ~A+N~

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 06:12 PM

I'm going to be quick about this cos I'm still so ticked off.

My mum is being so controlling about our engagement party. Nick wants it at his parents place but I don't care either way. Mum got all upset saying how much I'd hurt her if I had it at his parents place as she has always supported us getting married but his parents think we should wait.

Mum has tossed up a huge fuss saying that she'd pay for everyone (she wants to invite people I barely even know!). So in the sake of my mums constant drama, we're having 2 parties!!!!! (Overkill much).

His family at his parents, mine at my family.... I prefer to get it all over and done with... fricken hell....

*rant finished*

#2 TEN

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 07:06 PM

Wow, that is overkill - I personally think an engagement party is a time to celebrate and bring people together. If its thi much effort for an e-party what about the wedding??

Is there any chance that having it on 'neutral ground', such as a function room will work??

Good luck, it really is a tough position your mum is putting you in sad.gif

#3 Swarles Barkley

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 07:26 PM

oh honey, i feel your pain. i had a similar deliema about a 'next day bbq'.

My only suggest is to tell your mum, nicely, that she cant control this, and that it is about what you and nick want.

on anther side, could you have it at a mutually neutral place? That way neither set of parents have control over it? I agree that it is a good coming together of families. For us, it meant that Brians aunts and uncles knew my family before the wedding, which was good as they mingled on our wedding day.

good luck
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#4 Lil_Miss

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 08:14 PM

You poor thing. I feel for you.

Once you have calmed down, think about it. This is about you and Nick and should do what you both want.

Goodluck with it all.

#5 ~A+N~

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 10:04 PM

We had considered a 'neutral' place but hiring a hall and getting everything catered is just too expensive for us.

That's a good reason why having it at mum and dads suits us because as she has said she'd pay. Its all being set as his family only available on one date while my family is only available on another....

As for the wedding I will put me foot down on this and tell her its our wedding not hers.

#6 ***Bella***

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Posted 31 August 2008 - 06:16 PM

I feel sorry for you. I would be very annoyed. I agree that Engagement parties are meant to bring all of the families together.
Good on you for putting your foot down over the wedding. It is YOUR day, not hers.

#7 bluenomi

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 10:05 AM

And this is why we didn't have an engagment party. Relatives can't fight over it if there isn't one!
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#8 EJay

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Posted 02 September 2008 - 08:55 AM

Could you barter with her over something? I'm thinking along the lines of "We thought we'd have it at his parents because I thought you would enjoy hosting the kitchen tea/hen's night/recovery BBQ more..."?

I hope you work this out, but - if she insists on having her 'own' engagement party don't let it stress you out - give her control of it on the proviso that she keep her 'demands' to this event and stay out of the wedding.

Overall - don't let it ruin this wonderful time for you. In 5/10/20/50 years its not going to be important.
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#9 Thelma

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Posted 04 September 2008 - 05:42 PM

I had 2 engagement parties because our family and friends lived in 2 separate cities 1.5 hours away from each other. I loved it because it meant that I could invite lots of extra people that I knew we wouldn't be able to invite to the wedding. Those extra people also appreciated it because they were still able to celebrate our union with us when they knew we wouldn't couldn't ask them to the wedding.




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