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Just a bit of a sad pathetic whinge

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#1 * Kylie *

* Kylie *

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Posted 03 July 2008 - 10:50 PM

I've just finished watching PS I Love You.

I've never seen it before, and I knew it would be sad, I didn't realise I would need to stop it for about 15 minutes while I howled.

9 months on I realised I was never really allowed to grieve for the ex. He was absolutely the love of my life. I gave him absolutely everything.

When we broke up, I wanted to be strong, and whenever I would start to be upset, someone would remind me what a prick he was (and I'm not denying he is) but basically by doing that they said it was not OK to be sad that he was gone. To them, he was just an awful person so I should just be glad he was gone.

He was everything to me! I loved him more than life itself, and to me he died. I have not seen him since that day.

I don't believe this is coming up again, I don't believe I am crying over him. But I've realised I'm allowed to. Yes he was awful. Yes he destroyed my heart. But he was also my fiance and my love. I should be allowed to grieve his loss.

PS I"m not saying I want him back or anything, I just want to say goodbye properly. sad.gif
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#2 soot


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Posted 03 July 2008 - 10:59 PM

Absolutely you should grieve the loss, not only of him but the dreams you had with him. It is okay to be sad and have a good cry, you just need to not let it bring you into a state that you cant get back out of. Hugs to you Kylie, you are a beautiful soul.

#3 Hope


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Posted 03 July 2008 - 11:02 PM


I think you have just taken a big giant step in moving on too Kylie. It would be the easy way out to brush it off and say oh well, he was a jerk anyway. You were going to marry this man, jerk or no jerk your life was turned upside down and you cant brush that off.

I admire your strength, you have been through so much and have come out of it a stronger person.. You are such a wonderful person - no one on here would have a bad word to speak about you. Of course you have every right to grieve the life that you left behind as well as someone you cared so deeply about, and when you are ready I am sure you have a fabulous future ahead smile.gif
I remember hearing (i think it was SATC) that you need 1/2 the amount of time the relationship went for to fully move on.. it takes time but eventually your heart will mend and you will be ready for when a wonderful person comes into your life

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#4 *Ali*


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Posted 04 July 2008 - 08:22 AM

Of course you are allowed to grieve him and feel sad for the loss you have experienced. I think it is the only way you will ever really be able to move on. If you don't process what's happened, you won't heal. You won't become whole again and be able to start fresh.

It is a massive thing to go through hun. I know that. You should allow yourself all the time you need.

You are an amazing person and you deserve the very best out of life. And I have faith that you will find it.
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#5 L's Angel

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Posted 04 July 2008 - 08:59 AM

Oh Kylie, every loss needs to be grieved. Whether it's a loss through death, break up, relocation or even just drifting apart. Loss is loss and when it's the loss of something as important as a life partner, it's a very big thing to get through. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, there's no controlling emotions, nor should there be. Cry, scream, vent, whatever needs to come out, let it out.

What you have lost from this relationship is huge, but I think in the long run what you have gained will also be big. You've grown in strength, you've started your business, you've inspired many women through the dignity with which you've handled this awful situation. I for one, admire you. Despite only 'knowing' you from the words you write, I see a kind, caring, generous woman who is creative, talented and inspiring. I see a woman who deserves happiness and who I'm sure will find it, just give yourself time.

Take care of yourself, you deserve it. smile.gif
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#6 Lissie


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Posted 04 July 2008 - 09:06 AM

Oh you poor thing, I 2nd what the other girls have said.

Sometimes when sad things happen in our lives, alot of us push it to the side & never grieve the way we should only to have it come back at a later stage in our life. You are allowed to cry over him, yes he wasn't a nice person, but you loved him & he was such a huge part in your life so it's important for you to grieve that old stage of your life & only you will know when you are ready to close that book & start a new one.

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#7 Domestic Dreamer

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Posted 17 July 2008 - 05:13 PM

I think this is a place you needed to get to before you can properly move on. Much love to you, do what you have to.


#8 5Angels


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Posted 17 July 2008 - 09:18 PM

It doesn't matter how you "lost" Lee, the fact is that it is a loss on so many levels, and if you feel the need to grieve that loss then do it, it doesn't matter that other people thought he wasn't right for you.

Take care xo

#9 katya


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Posted 17 July 2008 - 09:35 PM

Oh Kylie! I don't know what to say but everyone has already said words of wisdom and comfort. I'm here anytime you need someone to cry to.

P.S. I don't think I'll be watching P.S. I love you.

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