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Questions Regarding Newborns


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#16 seedyem1978

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 07:28 PM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
my hubby says his best piece of advice was to take care of me, as I could look after the baby. it served us well. my hubby has always done his share of washing and nappy changing, but it was great having someone to bring me a drink and make sure I'd eaten without being asked.

2. What was the least useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
that breastfeeding doesn't hurt.
that I should sleep when baby sleeps - see point 3 below. yeah, so everyone TOLD me, but I didn't listen ph34r.gif

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?
in those early weeks when baby sleeps almost all the time, really DO rest ALL the time. baby WILL wake up and want more attention and have more awake time sooner than you realise, but until then: sleep and recover

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
all the meals
my now best friend and saviour came over to deliver a meal and home made cookies, took one look at me, heard me talk about bfing 2 days home from hospital, and got a lactation consultant to come around that night! that 2 hour visit changed everything for us.
not visit: lot's of my really good friends intentionally didn't come around for a few weeks. I really appreciated that as it meant we had time the 3 of us to become a family and get used to what we were doing

5. What was the least helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
send presents: so kind and generous, and I appreciate them, but meals are more useful than more 000 size clothes ph34r.gif

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#17 Decembergirl

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 07:44 PM

Oh, I feel like I've stepped into an Italian family with five generations of wonderful women handing out pearls of wisdom. What a great thread and I'm learning so much. Thanks for being willing to share ladies. smile.gif
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#18 chelley

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 08:48 PM

QUOTE(brightspark @ Jun 17 2008, 12:20 PM) View Post

Hi ladies

i asked these questions of some my close girlfriends and got some really great answers and helpful hints, so I thought that I would post the questions here too ... apologies if they have been asked previously.

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?
4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
You have grown the baby under your heart for 9 months - you KNOW your baby - your baby is unique and therefore you will find for yourself what works for your baby. Allow yourself the time to get to learn all about each other.

They grow up so fast - treasure each stage as it will pass quickly.

Breastfeeding is a skill that you and bubs both need to learn.

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
That cloth nappies isn't doable - it is and it looks damn cute wub.gif

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?

That stretch marks can develop after the birth laugh.gif How hard it is to get a night together with the girls. How common it is to feel anxious. That pregnancy brain remains after you are pregnant.

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

My sister who has three kids (one only born 3 weeks prior) came and was my support person and sometimes just sat with me while Aurelia was in SCN and hubby had to go to work and I felt unable to take in all the paed was saying.

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

Email everyone photos of Aurelia in the SCN when we had explicitly told her we did not want this to happen.

MIL coming and staying in my house and REFUSING to leave, turning her back on me while holdin my baby and I was trying to take her back for a feed - generally making me feel like crap everytime I have to interact with her. mad.gif

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#19 afecay

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Posted 17 June 2008 - 09:30 PM

Great questions, and great answers too smile.gif might have to print this thread out for hubby to read.
Mum to two gorgeous princesses, Miss M born Jan '09 and Miss C born Feb '12

#20 SEA

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 08:56 AM

Thank you all for this thread - the information is fantastic. I'll be remembering the "Special K" latch when Shimmy arrives!

#21 miss polly

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Posted 18 June 2008 - 01:52 PM

QUOTE
Thank you all for this thread - the information is fantastic. I'll be remembering the "Special K" latch when Shimmy arrives!


Ditto!
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#22 Lizzzard

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 08:14 AM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
* As someone said above, that breastfeeding is a skill that the baby has to learn, as well as the mum
* That the first 6 weeks or so are the hardest and is DOES get easier

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
Ooooh, LOTS from the in-laws tongue.gif
* That carrying her in a sling would spoil her
* That letting her sleep in our bed would spoil her
* That cuddling her too much would spoil her
* That not letting her cry herself to sleep would spoil her
....you get the drift dry.gif

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?
That I REALLY SHOULD sleep when the baby naps !!!

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

My parents came to stay but rented a furnished apartment close by (instead of staying with us) and came to visit each day, cooked, cleaned and then left us each evening. They were so amazingly supportive and sensitive about letting us find our own way, while still 'being there' wub.gif

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
Tried to 'guilt me' into handing over Charlotte for endless cuddles with random family members. It made me feel really torn between being polite and doing what I felt was best for myself and my baby sad.gif
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#23 Melsy

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 10:56 AM

Thankyou all so much! This thread is great! Ill def be printing of for hubby to take a look smile.gif

#24 Mistaken

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 05:35 PM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?

Just go with your instinct, there are no rights and wrongs.

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
"The baby is unsettled because this is your first and you're worrying too much." This is after having a baby who screamed for hours on end and never slept, and was then diagnosed with bad reflux.

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you? That everyone goes through bad times and not everyone finds it easy.

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital? My mum just did some general house chores whenever she came to visit. Washing up, sweeping the floors, hanging out washing, etc. It really helped.

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital? Turning up and expecting to be entertained and then leaving a MASSIVE mess. Not one person even took their glass to the kitchen or attempted to tidy in the least (and this was close family).

#25 Porthos

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Posted 21 June 2008 - 09:21 PM

I too am a fan of this thread. keep it coming!!!!

#26 leebee81

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Posted 03 July 2008 - 10:11 PM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?

Two really:
If you can get through the first 6-8 weeks it gets much easier (for everything, but especially BF).
Babies don't have clocks, they have tummies. When in doubt, feed. In the early days, if they cry, feed em. Its good for your supply and usually makes bubs happy/sleepy/both too.

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?

That *all* babies should follow the exact same strict sleep routine (ie, sleep for x minutes, x times a day). Babies are people too and there is going to be a natural variation. I spent a very unhappy week early on trying to make Oliver nap during the day when he very clearly did not want to. I gave in and went back to following his cues/my instinct and ignoring all the books and we are both much happier for it.

I also got a lot of snide remarks about using cloth nappies, but I'm stubborn so the comments just made me more determined to succeed at that.

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?

Its not unusual for a newborn to take an hour per breastfeed.
Breastfeeding is painful or at least uncomfortable in the beginning even if your latch is correct. My nipples just weren't used to being sucked on for an hour at a go 8-10 times a day.

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

Bring food. Friends of ours brought soups in individual serve containers, a vego lasagne, homebaked cookies and muffins. It was great, all we had to do was heat and serve, so much less stress than cooking something while getting your head around having a new baby. By the time the food ran out we were right to start cooking again.

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

We were very lucky, everyone was really good when Oliver was born.
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#27 Kate

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Posted 04 July 2008 - 10:10 PM

This is a great thread! I have a few for each one though!

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
- The first 6 weeks are the hardest and it does get easier, I kept saying this to myself over and over in the first couple of weeks and I promise you it gets so much better.
- Listen to your instinct, you know you're baby better than anyone.
- Newborns cry for a reason, not because they are manipulating you into cuddling them rolleyes.gif (and even they were who cares, I'd still cuddle em!)
- It's ok to ask for help. It's impossible to do it alone, it doesn't mean you're a bad mother because you need help.
- Maybe not in the first couple of weeks but when you can, try to get out of the house every day, go to the shops or the baby clinic or even just for a walk, it gives you something to look forward to and breaks up your day, as comfy as it is sitting on the lounge in your pj's all day, it isn't good for you!
- Not every answer is in a book. My hubby was the one who actually said this to me, I was forever saying "but the book says this and the book says that" and one day he said "the book doesn't know everything, and it doesn't know our baby"
2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
- "Stop picking him up, let him cry or he'll never learn" um no! I will pick him up whenever I want!!
- "Just give him formula, he's not getting enough milk, you're milk must be bad" sad.gif
3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?
- I don't know why but I kind of thought that if a baby was tired they'd just drift off to sleep, some babies do but mine certainly doesn't!
- Neither you or your baby know how to breastfeed straight away, it takes time, practice and patience.
- Bonding might not happen the instant you see you're baby, it can take awhile. Actually I had read this many times but I thought "pfft as if, I'm going to be so in love with my baby as soon as I see him", well I wasn't. I loved him straight away but I didn't really feel a 'connection' IYKWIM? Over a couple of weeks though we bonded and now i'm completly and utterly in love wub.gif
- As leebee81 said, *all* babies should do this or should do that. Don't get caught up in what your baby *should* be doing, just follow their cues and your instinct.
4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
- My mum cleaned my house from top to bottom so I didn't have to worry for at least a couple of weeks.
5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
- When Aiden was unsettled in the first couple of weeks especially week 3, I got a lot of people saying "Maybe your milk isn't enough" "Maybe it's your milk" "Maybe your milk is bad" etc etc. I know people don't mean to make you feel like you're a failure by saying this but it's certainly how it makes you feel.

Also this doesn't really fit in with any of the questions but wanted to add, everyone says "don't worry about the housework just sleep when you can", but for me I couldn't stand looking at the washing piling up or the dust on the furniture and it made it more stressful for me. So I would plan to do a job a day, even though some days I never actually got around to the job, having the plan in my mind and getting one thing done each day made it easier to sleep when Aiden did because I knew tomorrow or that afternoon i would be doing the washing or the dusting or whatever.

#28 Cake

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 02:40 PM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?

Definitely the special K lips. My aunty is a lactation consultant so she would come to the hospital twice a day to help me feed her. It was still a struggle as Zara was born a little early and her tiny mouth had trouble latching on. We eventually got there but it took quite a few days.

Also my mum helped me form a routine from day one - actually it day 4 as Zara was in ICU and SCN for a while so I never got to feed her until then. It was a routine for me, not Zara, and it helped me so much especially when the baby blues hit.

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?

Letting her cry. It is only now that I will occasionally let her cry and only if I am positive it is a protest cry. I tried Tizzie Hall's Save Our Sleep at around 5 months but I spent too much time crying at her bedroom door even though I knew she was protesting. I found it more distressing for me and I think if you want to cuddle or feed your baby to sleep then you should.

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?

To stand up to the doctors and midwifes if I feel like something is wrong whilst pregnant or with your newborn. I was so sure that they knew what they were doing but I was wrong!! Mothers instinct is the best guide and if something doesn't feel right shout and scream until someone listens to you. Never think that you may be neurotic or over reacting. This is your baby and you will know.
Just quickly - I was left to labour for 2 days with pre-eclampsia. I now have kidney and liver problems. ALSO when Zara was 4 days old in hospital, I told a midwife that her left arm and leg were shaking - she said it was normal. Well it wasn't and she was having seizure which were not medicated until she was 10 days old!!


4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

My mum stayed with me everyday and took me out to lunch to feel normal again. Zara was out and about very early on and we can now take her out to dinner with us and she is an angel.

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

I am happy to say that everyone was fantastic.

#29 tianakaesha

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Posted 05 July 2008 - 03:02 PM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
No Expectations, No disappointments. If I don't expect something to happen, I cannot be disappointed when it doesn't.

This too, shall pass!

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
"You might just have to get over yourself and feed her solids [5 weeks old]... XXX was refluxy and her first meal was a pie at 8 weeks"

She needs to cry for her own good

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?

Osteopathy can work wonders for newborns

Tara has tongue tie

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

We went and lived with my mum for 4 weeks... smile.gif

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?

Insist I needed to give her solids..

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#30 Nyree

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Posted 19 July 2008 - 08:40 PM

1. What was the best piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
Rest when baby is asleep.

2. What was the least most useful piece of advice you received regarding looking after a newborn?
All the different opinions of the midwives telling me how to BF. In the end I gave up on them and taught myself. I was also turned away from a public health clinic because they were about to close and wouldn't have time to see me and check on the BF. I only wanted to check... lucky I was doing it right.

3. What was the one thing you wish someone had told you?
Speak up to the Obs and Midwives more! What they say does not have to be the final word wink.gif

4. What was the most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
Left us alone to be a family and figure each other out.

5. What was the least most helpful thing a friend/family member did for you when you got home from hospital?
They were all pretty good. My mum did ring every day though for a while... that got a little annoying because it was always at a bad time.



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