Finding it really hard to get around not getting married to him any longer...
Posted 30 April 2008 - 10:32 PM
But im having trouble dealing with it, we were engaged for so long, everything was planned and paid for, some things were delivered...
My friends from HS who have met, got engaged to.. are getting married..
its not the actual wedding.. or maybe it is?
I just was looking forward so seeing all OUR hardwork come together and have a beautiful day that we would cherish forever..
everything is triggering me and its really really hard.
Hes playing games with me too... even tho he says hes not and the things he is doing arent intentional and are all coincidental i dont believe him..
sometimes i think, i didnt HAVE to get married to him, and if it worked out one day - i probably wouldnt.. but then if i think that, why do i get sad about wedding THINGS?
its all just really crap, really really crap.
hes said alot lately that has really made me and think, WHO IS THIS PERSON??? some of it is unbelievable and he cant see a problem with it.
From the person you are in your heart,
You can be who you want to be, Make us believe in you,
Keep all your light in the dark,
If you're searching for truth, You must look in the mirror,
And make sense of what you can see,
Just be.... Just Be..
and nothing can change that belief...
Just be... Just Be.
Posted 01 May 2008 - 07:50 AM
I know in my head he is not the person I should be with, doesn't make it any easier for my heart.
I have my dream wedding dress hanging in a cupboard, God knows if I'll ever wear it.
I'm sorry he's playing games with you, that's not fair. Are you able to cut all communication with him? I think it's the only way to really put him behind you.
I'm always here to chat, I know what you're going through.
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Posted 01 May 2008 - 08:08 AM
I think it's hard too when you think you are moving on to the next stage of your life and then suddenly you are back to square one. I still get like this now nearly 2 years after the split.
It's good that you are not tempted to get back with though.
You will get your wedding one day and it will be perfect and with the right man xo
Posted 01 May 2008 - 06:54 PM
Take care sweety. I really feel for you and think of you often.
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