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Saturday should be my wedding day


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#1 * Kylie *

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 10:54 AM

I've just come back from a good cry in the bathroom. I should be getting married this Saturday, even the *^%$ing weather agrees since it's come out so beautiful and sunny. The gentle breeze would have been perfect for my veil blowing in the wind, and the harbour would have been so beautiful for our NZ guests.

I know you will all say I shouldn't be marrying him, yada yada yada, but it doesn't take away the fact he was the love of my life, and I miss him. I miss him a lot.

Then, to top it all off, Sunday is the EDD of my baby I wasn't allowed to have, she would be one this year. What a *^%$ing great weekend I'm in for.

I just want to give up, I seriously do. I may as well just get a cat and be the old bag with a cat.
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#2 Chr!st!ne

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 10:57 AM

oh kylie, i can understand you're feeling like this.

i will say though that i dont think the love of your life would have treated you the way he did.

im sad you are hurting. please take care, and DO NOT give up!

#3 Rachae

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 10:58 AM

Oh kylie, i am so sorry, i dont know what to say.

I think you have every right to feel like crap, I know how hard this must be for you.

I just wanted to show you some support.
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#4 Zelda

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:02 AM

Oh Kylie I'm so sorry you are going through this. Even though Lee wasn't right for you, of course this date is going to bring you sadness, not to mention grief over your baby.

I've never met you but feel like I know you through the forum. You are such a wonderfully generous, kind hearted person, and I really do have no doubt there is someone out there you are yet to meet who will appreciate you for the incredible woman you are.
They can be empty words I know when you're feeling so miserable, but I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you and will support you in any way that I can.

Perhaps some of us Sydney girls could take you out to lunch on Sunday?
Big (((hugs)))
Sarah.
xxx

#5 TEN

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:05 AM

Kylie, there is nothing I can do to help, but I just want to send my love. I have to say I agree with Christine though, you are yet to meet the love of your life. He will treat you well, and make you totally happy.

Lots and lots of love to you, you are gorgeous, and very very loved.

#6 bats

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:08 AM

I was just thinking of you today.

Its to be expected that you're going to be feeling like rubbish - dont deny yourself the right to be hurt and heart broken this weekend - its totally ok to let yourself feel pain - it can be very freeing

But please dont give up - life is such a wonderful gift, you have lots of fantastic things in your life and while a partner may not be one of them at this moment it doesnt matter. So many people love you.

I am so sorry sweets

#7 ***Jo***

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:14 AM

Kylie, I agree with Bats too.

I think you have always known this weekend was going to be tough, no matter what has happened in the past.

This weekend allow yourself to get it all out and do what you have to do to grieve, as that's what you are doing now. It may take more time than you think after this weekend is over, but that's ok.

Of course you miss Lee and of course you miss your baby.

The girls are right though, you are sunshine in and out my dear and good things happen to good people. One day you will look back and still shake your head in wonder as to why two terrible things happened to you, but my god girl, you will be a stronger and better person for it.

And there will be no cat at all, I can assure you of that wink.gif
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#8 mrsm00kz

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:16 AM

Kylie my heart aches to see you hurting so much. Cry all you want. Scream all you want. I know that it will take a lot of time to heal the wounds he left you.

I'm here if you need to chat or a shoulder to cry on.

Much love xoxo
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#9 ~Camilla~

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:28 AM

Kylie, I'm so sad that you are hurting like this.

A good cry is exactly what you need, you will come out of this the better person.

I'm also hear if you need to talk xxxx
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#10 la_jeune_mariée

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 11:37 AM

It is a tough weekend and nobody expects you to be anything other than a blubbering, emotional mess. It doesn't matter that Lee was a total prick. It doesn't change your feelings one bit. It doesn't lessen your pain and it doesn't make it any less legitimate.

Do you have anything to do over the weekend?
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#11 * Kylie *

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 12:30 PM

Thanks everyone for caring over my blubbering pathetic mess. I hate the fact it's even affecting me, it's been 7 months, why can't I be a cold bitch and not let it affect me like him.

I have a couple of beautiful friends who are coming with me down to Berry for the day, and then I plan to spend the rest of the weekend in an alcohol induced coma.

I guess I am also very pissed off that one of my bridesmaids went and booked a weekend away for herself this weekend, I mean FFS does the date not trigger anything for you you selfish bitch!

**breathe Kylie, breathe**
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#12 ~Jo~

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 12:32 PM

Hun I will be thinking of you.

You are so strong. I have learnt so much from you.

You will get through this.

Allow yourself to cry and to grief.

Brighter days are coming smile.gif
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#13 mrsdella

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 12:39 PM

I’m glad to hear that you have plans for this weekend. It’s going to be tough and too much time alone with your own thoughts IMO wouldn’t be the best place to be.

So cry, drink, scream, drink some more - do whatever you need to do. Relish in the wonderful friends you have around you that acknowledge your pain and suffering.

Feel what you are feeling, and don’t try to stifle it at all because you feel like you should be over it or that he’s not worth it. It’s real for you right now and has meaning in your life.

I’m thinking of you.

#14 RubyTuesday

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 12:45 PM

You are holding so much bitterness. I can feel it. I was in the same situation 2yrs back. Every 'sentimental' date would trigger me to feel like sh!te and to question why this was happening to me... This 'should not' be happening to me. I dont deserve it. How dare ppl be happy around me and have such wonderful lives. What about me??

This viscous cycle of thinking was only stopped when I allowed it to stop. I dont know if you are ready to allow it to stop at this point in time. But there will come a day when you wake up and look out the window and realise what a beautiful day it is and it WONT make you angry that you have no-one to share it with. You will realise that you are able to enjoy this beauty alone... And you will start to feel content in yourself..

There is a bigger picture for what is planned for your life ahead. You yourself cannot see it now, you only have the capability to view each day at a time. But I bet sometime in the future you will realise how glad you are that life turned out the way that it did.
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#15 jet

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Posted 30 April 2008 - 12:48 PM

I'd been wandering where you'd been..... you havnt been to our meeting place in the sewing thread for some time.

I really hate that this guy has caused such a wonderful person so much hurt. I just want to kick him where it hurts....although it would probably hurt me more cos I am a shocking kick!!!!

Much love to you... Jet and I send all our cyber cuddles to you this weekend!



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