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#1 kazz

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:01 PM

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#2 ♥ Emsie ♥

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:20 PM

ouch... thats a tricky situation to be in!!

I think all those points as to why NOT to are very valid, but at the same time, what is more important to you, happiness in a relationship or what people think of you at work.

Its a lot to weigh up...

If you really do want to go for it (if I were in the same situation, I would) then perhaps look at the opportunity of transferring to a different gov dept? that way you won't work together.

OR... tell everyone to mind their own business and that your personal life and work life are seperate and will be kept that way, regardless of whether you are seeing someone within your workplace or not.

sorry hun, thats about the best I can offer sad.gif

Hope it all works out for you!
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#3 MsGems

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:20 PM

As a fellow 'New Beginnings' gal who is very much now of the school of following your heart, I say just that "Follow your heart".

When Scott & I finally got our act together, there was a big risk involved - we were housemates, and I really didn't want to have to move again (I moved about 10 times last year, I kid you not). When push came to shove though (pardon the rude undertones that could be taken from that laugh.gif) I thought "Why not?". There was an obvious connection and attraction there, that I'm sure would've made living together difficult over time, so we just decided "What the heck?" and here we are 5 months later, happy as can be ... It feels like we've been together 5 years sometimes, it just works so well (that and we've got the 'tiff' down to a fine art laugh.gif).

If there's the potential there, and you honestly think that being in a relationship with this guy would make you happy, then go for it. Seriously.

Follow your heart, and do what makes you happy. You're number one. It's your life to live, so live it as you see fit smile.gif

*toddles off to contemplate a career in the writing of self-help books laugh.gif*
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#4 RubyTuesday

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:29 PM

QUOTE(MsGems @ Apr 21 2008, 03:20 PM) View Post

If there's the potential there, and you honestly think that being in a relationship with this guy would make you happy, then go for it. Seriously.

Follow your heart, and do what makes you happy. You're number one. It's your life to live, so live it as you see fit smile.gif

*toddles off to contemplate a career in the writing of self-help books laugh.gif*


Really nicely put!! smile.gif

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#5 LiAsh

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:40 PM

Whilst they may be valid points, you really need to follow your heart!

Damo and I got together when we were both working for a government department - I was his Team Leader, and at that stage, he was contracting, so if he applied for a permanent position I would have been on the interview panel.

None of that stopped us though! We kept a very professional working relationship and just had a 'personal' relationship outside of work. Our team always met up for drinks, etc after work, so the fact that we were hanging out together wasn't really of interest to anyone. When we moved in together, our colleagues actually thought that we were just flatmates and got the shock of their lives when they came to visit and whilst giving them the grand tour we showed them "our" room. laugh.gif

So what I'm saying is that you can have a completely separate personal and working relationship. Keep it professional at work and no-one will have anything to gossip about, and if the relationship doesn't work out then don't make it personal at work either.

I say if you like him and he seems to like you, go for it! Your colleagues are probably jealous that he now likes you (perhaps they only encouraged you before because they either didn't think he liked you, or because they didn't think you'd act on it?).

Good luck!!

ETA: Forgot to add that after I left that organisation, Damo then applied and got permanent (so I didn't have to interview him), but he later then followed me to the organisation that I had moved to - and I was supposed to be on the interview panel, but withdrew from it citing that I knew one of the applicants on a personal basis and wouldn't be able to conduct the interview without bias. He was ranked 2nd for that role and when the 1st guy didn't work out, he got the job - that was when I told the Managers in question that I not only knew him, but that he was my fiance - and they were stoked and very happy to have him on board.
So you never know how people will react - so long as you keep it professional at work! No holding hands, no kissing in the corridors, lifts or even the carparks, and especially no flirting! If you can do that, your colleagues have nothing to complain about. smile.gif

#6 Candy

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:58 PM

I think you need to be careful. I'm ALL for following your heart, but perhaps if you follow your heart and ensure it is outside of work time? if that makes sense. Try to keep professional at work and perhaps take it outside of the workplace. Is it possible to get together outside of work for lunch/coffee/chat? smile.gif

All the best!

#7 *Ali*

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 04:31 PM

Nice friends huh? tongue.gif

I get your frustration. Why choose now to say what's really on their minds? Meh.

It is a hard situation and I think the only reason you should explore the path of something happening is if it's going to be something worthwhile. I don't think it would be worth it for a casual fling.
But, on the other hand, how do we ever know if something will be worthwhile? blink.gif

I agree with Mel, maybe you could try to keep it between the 2 of you until you work out if it's going to work or not. That way you can try and avoid all the speculation and gossip until necessary.

But, at the end of the day, decent guys don't come around all that often. We don't always get given the opportunity for happiness with a great relationship. So, if you see an opening, I'd grab it with both hands.

Good luck and keep us posted!
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#8 Primm

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 04:34 PM

I think work relationships can work.

Where I am at the moment, we have a married couple (different last names). I was talking to one of our mums the other day and mentioned them as a couple. She couldn't believe they were married to each other - their professional life is so completely separate to their home life.

A previous position a couple of girls I knew got together - one was in a leadership position, the other was a new grad. They ended up moving in together then split up a couple of years later (classic worst case scenario). BUT none of this got in the way of their jobs. They kept everything just as professional as they always had.

So it can be done. I'm not suggesting it's easy, but if you really want to make it work, go for it!

#9 **Jessie*

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Posted 22 April 2008 - 11:48 AM

I have recently got together with a guy at work - and it may have been a little bit harded for me as he is a fair bit older then me.

But all I did was followed my heart. So be it if we break up and one of us has to move to another floor or even job. I can't think like that 10 steps ahead, I just have to think about today. Take each day at a time.

We regularly have lunch together and coffee, A few people now know that we are together, but no one has said anything. My boss always said as long as it doesn't interfere with your job, it's no one business.

I say go for it! I certainly haven't looked back.


I have recently got together with a guy at work - and it may have been a little bit harded for me as he is a fair bit older then me.

But all I did was followed my heart. So be it if we break up and one of us has to move to another floor or even job. I can't think like that 10 steps ahead, I just have to think about today. Take each day at a time.

We regularly have lunch together and coffee, A few people now know that we are together, but no one has said anything. My boss always said as long as it doesn't interfere with your job, it's no one business.

I say go for it! I certainly haven't looked back.

Nothing is more beautiful then the love that has weathered the storm of life.


~Jess and Dave riding together since 13 February 2008~



#10 LiAsh

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Posted 22 April 2008 - 02:04 PM

Kazz thats great to hear! I hope everything goes well for you both, and I look forward to hearing updates. wink.gif biggrin.gif

#11 siilk

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Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:59 PM

Hi Kazz,
Hope it all works out. I am another workplace romance girl. I met DH at the first function of my then new job! He was in a leadership roll. I was a flunky. We had moved in together within 3 mths.
We also did this in the expat goldfish bowl. Something that scared the daylights out of me! But here was are now 6 years later and life is good.

#12 soot

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Posted 31 May 2008 - 09:15 PM

Glad it worked out.

#13 bli55bom8

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Posted 03 June 2008 - 11:45 PM

thats great.. and you both felt the same way....

happy cartwheeling..
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#14 la_jeune_mariée

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Posted 05 June 2008 - 07:17 PM

QUOTE(kazz @ May 31 2008, 08:10 PM) View Post

Well girls I promised I'd come back and give you updates so here goes....

A couple ago I put the moves on and was (even if I do say so myself) a mighty success!!!!

I asked him out for a drink one Friday night after work, and a drink turned into several, which turned into dinner, which turned into him coming back to my place and we stayed up talking until 3am. Then slept all cuddled into each other biggrin.gif

Since then we've been on a couple more dates and had our first sleep over last week (TMI - sorry but I'm so happy and excited right now!!!!) and tomorrow he's taking me to a cricket club function to meet some of his mates.

Apparently he's felt the same way about me for months but was worried about all the stuff I listed in post one, but we're going to keep it quiet and see where it goes. I feel like doing cartwheels laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

YAY!!!!!


Yay! How lovely smile.gif

Good luck at the cricket club!
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#15 Hope

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Posted 05 June 2008 - 09:30 PM

OOO you go girl! smile.gif Good on you for being brave, it sure did pay off tongue.gif

Good luck meeting the mates. smile.gif
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