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Just those little irritating things


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#16 siilk

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Posted 17 March 2008 - 09:56 PM

I am like Jo, 8 years ago I could have written your post. I didn't really mind being single, in fact there were many things about being single that I in fact liked. However, what I didn't like were the presumptions by busy bodies be they family or not. I was once even asked I was gay as they had never seen me with a man! and this came from pretty much a complete stranger - even if I was - what business is it if theirs. I also had a sister who had been in a very serious relationship for a very long time and didn't really understand what I felt.

When I met DH I had been single for a LONG time and I had pretty much given up on meeting anyone with whom I could have a 'proper' relationship with and I was not going to waste my time on anymore idiot etc. I stumbled on DH when I moved O/S to a shit hole of a country.

At first, I was fairly unwilling to believe that DH was actually real and I actively admit that I was <very> difficult to get to know. DH also had to be willing to take on a very independant woman who knew what she wanted and usually got it, without help from any bloody one - let alone a man. Boy did that man have to work hard.

Your feeling are all real and extremely valied. I am not trying to be condesending but just let you know that good men are out there (under rocks hiding according to DH <idiot> and that some fab guy will realise how wonderful you are and want it all.

#17 Antarian

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Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:17 AM

Ahhh kazz, family are fun, aren't they?

I had an uncle who would saunter up to my sisters and I and say "Got a boyfriend yet?" (This started when I was fifteen, and my sisters were 13 and 11). When I would say "Not yet", and turn back to continue my conversation he would chuckle and say "So you STILL haven't trapped a fella, eh?"

When one of us did have a boyfriend, and would eventually break up (as most teenage relationships do), he would say, "So you couldn't keep them from running, huh?"

GRRR. Now that I;ve been with my partner for four years, he NOW says "So, you haven't managed to wrangle a ring out of him yet? You better get on it, otherwise he might break free."

*sigh*
Sorry to steal your thread ladies, I was just trying to make the point that all those people continually asking you about your relationship status, and why you haven't got a partner. It has nothing to do with you. You guys are lovely articulate, beautiful and intelligent. However the questioners are idiots. If they weren't bothering you about your single status, they would be bothering you about something else!


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#18 *Ali*

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Posted 25 March 2008 - 06:47 AM

Kazz, gotta love your grandma for those ones! Geez rolleyes.gif

I know what you mean tho, people seem to think that there are decent guys just crawling everywhere and we can just pick one and be done. If only they knew....

Another thing I've noticed is when you live by yourself (single or in a relationship) some older women (and men mind you) give you a look of horror when you say you live on your own. "What, just you?"
Yes, I am able to live on my own damn it!! I can manage just fine on by myself dry.gif


Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#19 **Jessie*

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Posted 25 March 2008 - 01:55 PM

Hearing you loud and clear Ali !!!!
I finally got a flat mate, and now they are like - Ohh good! You have someone to talk to all the time.

Some people mustn't know me that well - and know that I love my own space and 'jess' time!!

But I have a boyfriend now, so I don't want to be like your friends and say that there is plenty out there. I have learnt that if your not truly ready then you won't find one, well that's what happened to me. And sometimes you don't even realise that your not ready.
Anyways, thats just my story. Hope everyone had a good easter!!
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#20 *Ali*

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Posted 26 March 2008 - 12:38 PM

Jessie, I'm glad you have a housemate noe so you will be ok and not on your own laugh.gif God forbid you be ok by yourself!

Kazz, I totally get that. It's also so nice to be able to go home and have things exactly how you left them! No chocolate missing wink.gif


Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#21 MegLegs

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Posted 26 March 2008 - 07:36 PM

I'll add one (from today!!)

I was working and talking to some people who were viewing a property of ours, saw I had a baby seat in my car and no ring on the finger (nosey much?!), so somehow we got on the subject of men/husbands and they asked me a question and you could so tell that they inserted "your husband" into it so they could get some kind of clarification as to my personal life... and me being me, didn't really care so I said "I'm happily single... something, something (can't remember what it was, something along the lines of, "been there, done that") and they had the nerve to say to me...

"Oh wow, that's great. Finding someone who'll take a relationship on with a kid these days is so hard, people are so independent."

I am seriously like WTF?!?! So great, not only am I a failure because I have been married and had a broken engagement but now I am TOTALLY SCREWED because I have a kid - cheers people!!!

Lemme tell ya, if they apply for this place they're NOT getting it - I don't even care if they're good, they can sucks on those eggs baby!
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#22 MegLegs

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Posted 26 March 2008 - 07:50 PM

QUOTE(kazz @ Mar 26 2008, 07:16 PM) View Post

MegLegs ohmy.gif ohmy.gif ohmy.gif OMG WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who says that???? You poor thing, what tossers!


I know! Way to boost someone's hopes there ladies!

I sit here sometimes and get on a downer because I already know my chances of meeting that perfect one are pretty low, considering my history and the fact that yes, I have an adorable son and people just don't accept that when you're 25. Most days I am ok, I see the life I have and don't really feel like I need anyone to finish the package, but geez, I want someone to finish it, sooner rather than later and knowing that there are people out there who doubt my ability just as much as I do is kinda scarey!
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#23 tastebud

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Posted 26 March 2008 - 08:21 PM

Everyone is an expert aren't they?

This line of questioning was my pet hate:

"Why haven't you got a boyfriend? What are you doing wrong..."

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Um gee I don't know there must be something inherently WRONG with me hey? Why don't you DIAGNOSE me since singledom is clearly a disease that needs to be cured!!

Still makes me angry mad.gif

P.S Another irritating thing about being single is paying extra for holidays, insurance, electricity blah blah blah - honestly, the world is disgustingly couple-orientated.
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#24 *Ali*

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Posted 27 March 2008 - 08:12 AM

ohmy.gif Meg, I cannot believe the nerve of those ppl!! Do you want me to track them down and slap them one? laugh.gif
Seriously tho, what a nerve!!

Tastebud, I know what you mean!! It's like people never consider that it's the lack of decent men, not 'what we're doing wrong' that leaves us single.

It's so frustrating!!

And Paying extra for everything!! That totally shits me too!!!
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#25 nephthys

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Posted 12 April 2008 - 02:25 PM

Hell yes! Except for two short-term relationships, I was single right up until i was 27 and decided the old boyfriend would do after all. That gnawing ache at the back of your heart gets bigger and bigger every day and those damn comments! You know most aren't being deliberatly hurtful, to them this is just conversation but it's so hard not to take it personally, this is your personal value being discussed. I had one person tell me they married old - they were 26!

I lost count of the amount of MASH videos I watched, those yucky nights when I'd sleep up against my big fluffy bunny because it would be a similar size to a person and I despised myself for that hungry aura that was always ten paces ahead of me that either attracted the jerks or turned away the good ones. It totally and utterly sucked. The loneliness is a disease and I honestly believe the scars stay with you forever.

I won't give you any advice, I know it doesn't help. Just letting you know I'm understanding.

#26 *Ali*

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Posted 12 April 2008 - 02:32 PM

Kazz, that really sux hun. What is with that?? I know what you mean though, you can't even talk or be friends with a guy without people thinking there's more to it.
(((HUGS)))
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#27 *Ali*

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 07:48 PM

Ok, I'm here for a rant.

Why is it that the guys you're not interested in always hang around and persist???
And, why the hell can't they take no for an answer?? And that NO doesn't mean try again in a couple of months. If I'm not interested now, I won't ever be. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!!!

I have a couple of guys that keep trying and keep trying and then just assume that coz I'm nice and say hi on myspace or whatever that it means I'm interested in them. I'm not.

Some guys have the biggest egos ever and think they are irrisistable to women. For christs sake, get off your self proclaimed pedastal and grow a brain!!


Ok, I think I'm done wacko.gif

Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#28 Sariele

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 05:01 AM

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I'm glad to see my little rant thread is still kicking! Yay for venting! biggrin.gif

QUOTE(*Ali* @ Apr 18 2008, 08:48 PM) View Post

Why is it that the guys you're not interested in always hang around and persist???
And, why the hell can't they take no for an answer?? And that NO doesn't mean try again in a couple of months. If I'm not interested now, I won't ever be. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!!!

Ugh, tell me about it. About a month or two ago I went back onto 'net dating (after swearing "never ever again" last year... hey, being lonely can make you stupid!). Anyway, I "met" this one guy who through email who seemed wonderful, but after three weeks of getting to know each other and getting excited about meeting, I was hugely disappointed when we met up in person (yet again.. why do I keep going back to RSVP?? Oh yeah, the lonely thing. Lol). So the day after our meeting I sent him an email to nicely say "thanks, but not interested". Do you think he accepted that? Of course not. Since then he's sent me two lengthy emails to which I haven't replied, and another asking me out for dinner, to which I also haven't replied but I guess I'll have to eventually because I hate being too rude.

But WTF?? If a guy I really liked told me "I'm not interested", I would say, "okay then" and leave him the hell alone! I've gradually (from experience) come to the conclusion that guys on internet dating are predominantly very desperate, and usually have something slightly strange about them which causes one to understand why they can't get a girl in real life. That sounds very cruel, but it's true (no offence to any couples who met online... I'm probably just unlucky as usual).

I only ever seem to attract desperates and weirdos. Why isn't anyone normal ever interested in me??????
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#29 *Ali*

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 09:56 AM

I don't know what it is either. Maybe they were never taught the word NO as a child. Idiots.

But I'm with you, if some guy said to me he wasn't interested, I would leave him alone. Who needs the embarassment od being told again??
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...

#30 *Ali*

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Posted 24 April 2008 - 05:38 PM

Totally right Kazz!! It sux hard. Either way, we're the bad one.
Someday everything will all make perfect sense... So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason...




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